Goth online dating

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I know this because I'm Are you sure you're not just scared? Maybe those blonde, sports loving chicks aren't as hard to please as you think. Why not expand your horizons past the early 90s and give the girls of today a try? Are you actually a goth or do you just want to date goths? You don't want to seem like a tourist.

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Anyway, rather then putting examples in your profile, you could just try being straight forward and saying "I have a dark sense of humor and I'm looking for girls with an an edge," There are probably lots of girls out there who seem normal but actually don't feel like they are and secretly want to let their freak flag fly.

You just have to get to know each other. Plus, gothy people have gothy friends and know where the gothy hangouts are. Alternately, hang out on non-dating-themed forums that have an active community you like, and make friends and ask around. Two things that stand out to me, though, that might be impeding you: First, your pop-culture preferences are nowhere near as important an identifier as you think they are, and might be cutting some opportunities off at the pass.

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When I was looking, one of the biggest turnoffs in dating profiles for me was seeing long, long lists of bands or movies the guy liked. I don't care about your fucking CD collection, tell me about you. I avoided them because taste in music seems like a pretty shallow signifier of personality, because it doesn't matter in a relationship except when you're both in a car and deciding on a radio station, and because I like both Black Flag and Billy Joel and yes it is possible to do that and I don't want to be sneered at for it.

Second, if the nice blonde girls sound interesting, talk to them, seriously. I'm an easygoing, go-with-the-flow, not overtly subculturey kind of person though not blonde , and that was exactly why I was open to making friends with goths, or pretty much anyone else. Some people let you know what they are right away, but some people are all Banana Republic on the surface with hidden streaks of dark humor, kink, or other interesting weirdness.

Ooh, and one more thing: After college, identifying as a certain type gets a little less important for people, and I think it drops off even more after thirty. If you're looking for women anywhere near your age, you are going to find few who straight-up label themselves as goths, even if they identify with your subculture. And if you introduce yourself as "a goth," there are going to be people who wonder why you still identify with a high school stereotype. This is true if you're twenty-five, and it gets more true as you get older. The problem isn't that there are no goths on OKCupid.

The problem is that you're in your mid 40s.

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Goth culture hasn't even been around long enough for people your age to have gotten into it when they were teenagers. Most people get into it when they're teenagers. And they rarely keep it up into their 40s. I totally know what you mean about being bored with Miss "I'm very laid back and like to go with the flow, I like all kinds of music, friends and family are very important to me. Also, a word of advice: No one's going to bother making the connection, and you're just distracting people from your question.

Not goth based, but check out plenty of fish , too. Much better than OKCupid in my small town. There's Vampire Freaks a. Couldn't hurt to scan, though. Almost 40 gothy type person here. I'm not single and have never used a dating site, but I know via friends that a lot of the "goth dating" sites are really just places for creepy guys to find younger goth girls beacuse they're "freaky".

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I second the suggestions of just using regular sites and being more selective. And don't get hung up on labels! Goth subculture has been around for 30 years, give or take. I know more than a few eldergoths who have stayed in the scene since their teens.

Seconded, just for esteem to the OP. Goth came up hand-in-hand with punk rock. They may not keep the physical trappings up as much as they did when they were younger deathhawks are a lot of work, or hang out at concerts, but they're definitely around and in plenty of places.

OK, so maybe I'm technically wrong on that historical point. Admittedly, I based my comment on a quick check of Wikipedia, which dates gothism back to the '80s. But the more relevant question for the OP's purposes is what percent of people his age are that type.

Don't make that your main criterion. I think you OP may want to widen your weird-dar. The difference between someone who grew up with. Oh, and as far as the blond girl example you gave? I have friends in their mids who went from holy-crap-look-at-that-guy goth fifteen years ago to Hawaiian shirts and slacks today. I was doing goth in the mid 70's. And the non-goths who are saying that you should give the non-goths a try are kinda not getting the goth thing.

But there are a lot less of us somethings on the site, let alone something goths. I'm assuming the other commentor is correct about your age. If not, I apologize. Both times I used dating sites, it took about 18 months to find someone. And I'm not goth and I'm female, which is an advantage on dating sites.

But it was worth the wait - the first relationship lasted 9 years, the second one is now in it's 5th year and I'm keeping this one. Also, you strike me as extremely intelligent.

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This, unfortunately, narrows your pool of people you can connect with. So tl;dr - just hang in there. And as a nearly 50 y.

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They reflected reality, as opposed to the way people wish the world really was. You may want to try gk2gk. It's not goth per se, but it's very tolerant of people with a subcultural obsession of one kind or another.

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Persons appearing in photographs may not be actual members. And as a nearly 50 y. Please refer to our Privacy Policy for details regarding your privacy interests. I don't care about your fucking CD collection, tell me about you. Couldn't hurt to scan, though.

This doesn't make any sense. Lots of those people were women who are now around However, I don't know that many women of their age who would ever label themselves "goth", even if they still dress in black and go see Mark Ryden shows. Once you grow up a bit, you can just be yourself without subscribing to particular identifiers. OP, I think you're getting hung up on superficial types and labels here. It seems like you've decided you have a "dark" sense of humor "and then they exploded" sounds more silly than dark to me, honestly and now you're looking for superficialities that you think match up to your personality traits.

Have you been to a Bauhaus concert recently? All kinds of people are there. Lots of people in black, certainly, but also lots of people that are perfectly normal looking. Can you make assumptions about the sense of humor of any of these people, black garbed or otherwise? Anecdotally, some of the most earnest and unfunny people I recently met were goth-esque, clove smoking men that worked at a corset makers.

Look for personality traits that match yours. And if you really like the look of subculture-y people too, start going out to events and seeing bands where those people go and get to know some of them. Most importantly, never, ever, put jokes in your profile. First you say that what I said doesn't make sense, then you explain why what I said does make sense. That is, of course there are people in the OP's age range who were listening to similar kinds of music when they were younger. They might still have an affinity with that music now. But he just gave musical tastes as background context for wanting "goth" types.

It's like the difference between people who loved "hippie" music when they were teenagers in the '60s and still have an attachment to that music many, many people and year-olds who are still literal, overt "hippies" very few. Again, these are all generalizations and back-of-the-envelope statistics. Are there die-hard goths in their 40s? I'm sure there are.