What to say in a first message on online dating
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It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening.
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It could be that women like guys who write mumbly. Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion. These are the religious terms that appeared a statistically significant number of times.
Atheist actually showed up surprisingly often times per 10, messages, second only to mentions of christian and ahead of for jewish and for muslim. But ideally you should just disbelieve the whole thing.
The program then aggregated results by phrase before presenting the data. No one at OkCupid read any actual user messages to compile this post. Written by Christian Rudder.
Megan Murray is the Editor-in-Chief of The Date Mix and works at the online dating site and app Zoosk, that has over 40 million members worldwide. She splits her time between writing for The Date Mix and working on the Zoosk product, which gives her behind-the-scenes knowledge about the world of online dating.
5 Online Dating Message Tips: Examples of What to Say
Elevate your love life with practical dating advice delivered right to your inbox. For instance if you find you both love dogs, you could send a message like this:. Certain words are attention grabbing because they sound delicious. Notice how it starts off with a light compliment.
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Complimenting her will often give you points, but only if you focus on intangible qualities like intelligence or her accomplishments. Paying her a more meaningful compliment is a breath of fresh air for her.
First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs
Mentioning something yummy-sounding works just as well on dating apps. In fact, it literally stimulates your brain and makes you feel good.
And the better she feels about talking to you, the more likely she is to share her number. The example above is more suited for a dating site where longer messages are the norm, but you can get her talking about herself on a dating app with a short message like this:. Those three elements are crucial if you want to get a response to your online dating opener.
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Weekday evenings are generally best — many women unwind from a long day at work by firing up a dating app while catching up on Netflix. According to Nielsen , activity on both OkCupid and Tinder peaks at 9 pm, and usage starts to rapidly decline after 10 pm. On Bumble, the real action starts a little earlier, with activity peaking at 6 pm.