How to tell if a guy youre dating is gay
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Does he frequently refer to other guys as being attractive? Does he gush about his favorite male characters on television or the latest hot-topic celebrity? Does he get all tongue tied around the quarterback or the office stud?
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Things like this can be a cue that he likes them with a little bit more than basic admiration. For example, if he says something like, "Oh man, I spent all weekend hanging out with Jacob. He was so nice and felt so natural to be around him. Think about how he talks about women. You might also want to look for language which shows a lack of interest in women or an absence of language that would normally show an interest in women. This can be another indicator that he's gay. Guys will generally get bashful and tongue tied around women that they like. If you're not seeing any of that, then he might be gay.
For example, does he get really reluctant or act uncomfortable when you offer to set him up on a date? Watch for secretive, ashamed, or embarrassed behavior. When someone is closeted, they often have to hide a lot of things about themselves. Your friend might even be out, just not to you, which means they have to hide a whole other life. Watch for signs that they're hiding something or that they're ashamed or embarrassed about something, since this can be an indication. For example, if you invite him to go do something else during the same weekend as the Pride festival and he says that he is busy, that might be an indication.
Look for physical cues.
One of the theories about why some people are gay has to do with the hormones that they're exposed to before they're born. These hormone exposure levels may manifest in actual, physical ways which can be a vague indicator that a guy might be gay. Look for a feminine walk, body shape [1] , or finger length [2]. These can be signs that he was exposed to more estrogen than usual in utero, which may have an effect on brain development.
There are lots of other factors that can contribute to these changes in the body, so don't point to this as your smoking gun. In women, the ring and pointer fingers are the same length, while the ring finger is longer in men. Gay men are slightly more likely to have even fingers than straight men.
However, there are factors such as having a lot of older brothers that can make this indicator completely irrelevant. You should also consider what other possibilities all of these different signs might indicate. It is possible that your guy friend is not gay but instead falls somewhere else on the Kinsey scale of unicorns and awesomeness. Bisexual, meaning he's interested in men and women. Asexual, meaning that he naturally has no sexual desire. He may just not be interested in you, if you're wondering why he hasn't made a move on you.
Don't judge based on feminine voice or way of talking. Although some people in the gay culture may put on a certain voice or a way of speaking, your friend talking in a similar or "effeminate" way is still not a very good way to judge. Some guys are simply soft-spoken or have naturally feminine ways of speaking. For example, he may simply be shy or grew up around someone who talked in a similar way.
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Don't judge based on the kinds of things he likes to do. What a guy enjoys is also not a very good way to judge if he is gay or not.
I've actually confronted my boyfriend about him being gay and he just laughs and says things like "I'm comfortable with myself and I know what I want or I can't believe you actually think that way of me" But something in me just tells me he might be gay. Lady Gaga, musicals, and chic flicks. When someone is closeted, they often have to hide a lot of things about themselves. This article has over 1,, views, and 13 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status. I will say this, though: He wants to have sex with every woman there and now men, but hasn't yet. Finally--and worst of all--if you find out that he has a profile on a gay dating site, then this is a glaring, giant, neon sign.
Everyone can enjoy different things; just like a woman might enjoy watching football, guys can also enjoy things that are more commonly associated with women or the gay community. Examples of activities he can like and still be straight as an arrow: Don't judge based on the kinds of media he likes.
The movies he watches and the music he listens to are also not fair methods to gauge if he is straight or gayer than Elton John and George Takei put together. You'll have to look for other indicators than his mp3 collection. Examples of media that he can like and still be straight: Lady Gaga, musicals, and chic flicks. Don't judge based on how he looks, dresses, or grooms himself. There's the stereotype that if a guy is a good dresser or if he spends a bunch of time on his hair,he's definitely gay. However, guys getting more invested in how they look is pretty common these days, making this a terrible way to judge.
Similarly, you shouldn't assume that just because he's super macho and wouldn't know the right end of the comb to use, he's definitely straight. Do not judge based on who he hangs out with. Sometimes you might assume that just because a guy only hangs out with girls or just because his best friend also seems gay, then he might also be gay.
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These are not fair indicators, though. Different people look for different things in friendships and he probably just feels better around the friends that he has. Get some alone time. Set aside some quality time for the two of you to talk. This is a very private matter and you don't want to put him in an awkward position in front of other people.
You should also work your way up to this serious conversation by talking about other deep matters first. It's important to make him feel comfortable and set the expectation that you two can share deep, personal feelings with each other. For example, talk about your family problems or maybe politics and your concerns for the future. Show him you're okay with your friends being gay. Subtly bring up subjects that show him that you're okay with your friends being gay and that he doesn't need to hide his nature around you.
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You can talk about another friend that is gay or even just about someone hypothetically coming out if you don't know someone who's gay. For example, you can say something like "I really admire people like Neil Patrick Harris. And at that picture, so many picture he hug with his friend. What do you think? Literally broke up with the guy because he seemed sooo gay, girly overall, he called his mom HUN and got off on taking selfies of himself I've actually confronted my boyfriend about him being gay and he just laughs and says things like "I'm comfortable with myself and I know what I want or I can't believe you actually think that way of me" But something in me just tells me he might be gay.
Specially his homophobic side. Confronting him has got me no where. I just know he won't admit it.. My bf is totally gay It's really hard for me to come to terms with it all.. I feel so alone.
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For 5 yrs the guy that was supposed to be my life partner has hooked up other men from craigslist just about every other month. I suspected him to be gay the 1st week. It didnt bother me but the deception did. Im about an 8 on the scale of attractiveness. He'll actually turn to the side when passing by me if I'm naked in the bathroom so he doesnt touch me. The same way a straight guy might do in the locker room. Hes turned me down a couple of times for sex.
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He actually called into work 1 day in order to go see some guy he contacted from CL that morning. So, yes, hes Gay. Been with my fella for 2 years now and found him on fabswingers taking to men dressed up as woman so i confronted him and he told me he thought they was woman so i forgave him but recently ive found gay pornsites on my history im so confused does this mean he bi? He started out in this 4 year relationship just crazy head over heels in love with me.
Spoiled me with his attention then I had life changing event.
Our intimacy has gone totally out the door. I found on his phone several texts that were very inappropriate for a person in a relationship. They obviously have a relationship going on and a good one. Queen told him what he was going to have done when he got there after work. That explains why he never had any vacation time for our family.
If a man doesn't like homosexual activity around him that does not mean he's gay or homophobic My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years.