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Ask a friend, relative, or teacher to help you get ready to date.
Pick a friend who has good experience in the dating world. If you're anxious about your conversation skills, you can role-play, or even do a practice date.
Ask your mentor what they look for in a partner. What are you doing that they would find odd on a date? What would they like? Tell them you appreciate their honesty. It might help to keep a notebook of dating tips. When you are autistic, it is often easier to express your feelings in writing than in person. Online dating can be a way to meet like-minded people in an environment that is safe and structured.
Know what you want in a relationship. Are you looking for something casual or long term? Be clear about this with yourself so you know how to proceed. Different dating sites suit different needs.
Decide what dating site is best for you. If you want, there are even websites that match up people on the autism spectrum who would be compatible with each other. This can be a good way to ease some of the stress of reading neurotypical dating cues. When you start dating, you want to make sure you look your best. Bathe regularly and trim your hair and facial hair if you have any. Wear clothes that are clean, ironed, and well-fitting.
Don't be afraid to ask a fashion-conscious friend or family member to go shopping with you. They can pick out clothes that enhance your unique attractiveness. Ask your mentor to look over your message before you send it. Plan out the date. This will help ease your nerves, and let you know what to expect on your date.
Try an activity-based date. For example, if you like to bowl, invite your date to go bowling with you. If you enjoy art, take her to an art museum. If you find somebody that shares your special interest, try setting up an date that is related to this special interest. Write down the plan for your date. Your date will most likely appreciate the initiative you took to plan it all out and find it romantic. Ask open-ended questions, and if you ask yes or no questions, follow up with something open ended. Find out her favorites. See what kinds of things she likes.
What are her favorite movies, books, music, or games? What are her hobbies? After she tells you her favorites, go home and check them out. Listen to her favorite song, or read her favorite book. Accept rejection if it happens.
Look around at people on the street. Are all of those people your type? It doesn't mean anything is wrong with them; they just aren't right for you. Similarly, you might not be right for her, and that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. If you are anxious about being rejected, try coming up with a response in advance for rejection, such as saying "Okay, see you around then," and walking away.
Move on to someone else. Being rejected just means that you two were a bad match. It doesn't have anything bad to say about you. When you feel comfortable, tell her about your disability, and explain how it affects you personally. Be prepared for a few awkward questions. Give honest, factual answers. Relationships are about both partners seeking to understand each other.
I met my long-term partner, who has Aspergers, on cellotonica.com It advertises itself as a dating site for people with mental illnesses, not developmental. A unique dating and social media website created BY people on the spectrum FOR through methods of conventional social media and online dating services.
Encourage your girlfriend to use online resources such as Autism Acceptance Month, the Autism Women's Network, and WikiHow to find out more about the autism spectrum. Show her that you can be an attentive partner, but sometimes social situations take a lot of effort for you. In any relationship, you need to have boundaries, both sexual and nonsexual, and autism can make reading cues like body language difficult. Ask your partner to honestly tell you what makes her uncomfortable and what she would like you not to do in the relationship. It might help you both to write these things down on a piece of paper or in a message.
Give a compassionate response over a pure honest one. This can be a good trait, but it may come across as too blunt in certain situations. Check in with each other. If you have a difficult time expressing your feelings sometimes, it can be a good idea to have a regular check in session every week.
This might be over coffee or dinner. Try having a set of questions you always ask. This can be a sweet ritual for you as a couple and a good way to plan staying in touch. It will make you both feel heard and valued. An example set of questions could be: What is something I did that made you happy this week?
What is something I did that made you sad this week? What is something you would like us to do together next week? Make gestures of affection. Consciously think about things you can do to make your girlfriend smile. Keep a list in your phone of things your girlfriend likes. If she says one day she likes peonies and specific kind of chocolate, write it down. Every so often, check that list in your phone. Go out and buy her peonies and chocolate for no reason at all.
Your letters can be hard copies or emails. Write down the things you like about your partner, and let her read those things. Not Helpful 61 Helpful Autistic people, just like others, can have love lives.