Interfaith dating advice

Why You Need to Think Twice About Inter-Faith Marriage

---

It is good to hear that your SO is going to support you. As for culture and to make it work, you just respect his religion, and have him and his family respect yours. There shouldn't be any conversion and you can bring up future kids in both religions if they are dear to you. Do traditions from both sides like choroonu, charedu kettu and baptism.

Respect and having no egos will def strengthen the marriage showing that your religion or culture or whatever is irrelevant. Now i am kind of curious about the church, basically when me and my bf get married in the future do you think we would be able to marry in his church? He told me that once he marries me he probably won't be welcome in his church anymore.

I would like to say it is most likely no they won't allow a marriage, but you may be lucky and come across one who is more open minded and is willing to do it. The priest who conducted monthly Malayalam masses in our area was very open minded and different from the norm, making him awesome.

Is your SO ok with being kicked out? I know many do not care. Another alternative is that if you want to get married in a church, you can opt for another church and do a generic Christian wedding. There are a few churches that allow interfaith marriages to be conducted, but they are mostly in white churches. You can look into that and then conduct a hindu wedding as well to represent your side: When I got married 20 years ago, it was in a white pentecostal church.

My husband was Hindu and our pastor met with us to do this very superifcial counselling session which they do for all couples. He didn't bring up the difference in religion and we had no problem getting married. I even played classical indian music when I walked down the aisle.

MODERATORS

If yes, there is absolutely no requirement for you to convert. Catholics can marry non Catholics and still have their marriages be viewed as valid in eyes of the church if that matters to you guys at all. I think you should stick to your guns in both situations - your FI needs to tell his parents that you will not be converting and you need to make it clear to your parents that you plan on marrying this man and your decision is final. Marthomas are not Catholics, they are Syrian Christian and claim that its origins start with Thomas the Apostle.

Not sure what are the significance differences are between Catholics and Marthomas, though I do know Marthomas reject the Virgin Mary. I am a malayalee hindu guy Nair. It is weird that in the 21st centuary that we are still trying to force convert spouses. Hindus and Christians cultures really stop at our language and food. What type of christian is he? Is he syro orthodox, Kna? I would very much lay down that conversion is not a thing you will entertain, and that if you want to teach your kids about Hinduism you should be allowed to.

Hinduism is different that we believe all paths lead to god, but it is kind of difficult mixing with Abrhamaic religions, which kind of state you have to follow one religion otherwise you will end up in hell. Marriage is about compromises, if your boyfriend does really support you, he should be supporting you on this. Be wary that he is not kind of stringing you along, and right before marriage say that he wants you to convert.

I had seen a christian girl and hindu guy go through that they ended up breaking up before marriage. Crossing religious lines among desis is a very delicate line. If you ever need to talk or need someone to vent to, you can always PM me: Good luck with your relationship, I hope nothing but the best for you guys. He even told me once he marries me, his church will probably not allow him to come back. His parents though want him to be happy, and they understand that I play a role in that.

But I know that they lowkey want me to convert. My family is also freaking out over my decision to be with him, despite us both being mallu, my parents claim malayali christians as being more strict, rigid, and traditional in their views when compared to our values and traditions. They are concerned about whether they will be able to get along with his family. And hahah this is so weird because I talked with a Marthoma girl, but I decided to end it because our religious differences were kind of big. Marthomas and Pentacostals are extrememly religious Christians are way more religious than us so it became an issue.

You also should know they are way more involved in a community, they go to church every Sunday, go play basketball and other sports together etc. I am also in Texas, so I am not sure if it is different in other parts of the US.

What happens when you fall in love across the religious divide?

Because they are so community focused you will probably get a lot of pressure from friends and other members of the church he interacts with regularly, so be prepared for that. The girl I was talking to said that even though there is no caste, the community won't particulary look down on them if they marry a nair or a namboothri, but probably will if they married like a thiyyan or a muslim, even though there is no official caste system.

I guess I would say understand the family dynamics and the influence of the church over daily lives. As Nair Hindus we don't have anything like that, and it can be overwhellming and hard to adjust to. It's interesting that you found the statue of Christ scary. In the church that I grew up in, we had no images of christ, just a simple wooden cross.

When I went to my husband's family's hindu temple, seeing all the images of various deities was a culture shock, especially having grown up in the west. I wouldn't use the word scary , even as my m-law was forcing hinduism on me in a very aggressive way. My husband finds the churches with ioconography more relatable than the church I went to as it's similar to a hindu temple.

As for xtians being more religious than hindus, there are laid back xtians as much as there are laid back hindus. The only thing I would say is that all indians , of all religions, tend to be more observant and connect to their religious identity more than westerners exception being US bible belt. In a mariage situation, most families, regardless of religious background , will try to assert their faith on the couple.

INTERFAITH DATING AND MARRIAGE

We had a lot of drama from both sides of the family when we decided to get married. One thing that made it easier for us is that we are both atheists. Still, we tried to be respectul of our parents religious beliefs. To this day, my mom still resents me for marrying out of my religion. Our relationship is not great. Back to 20 yrs ago when we told our parents we wanted to get married. I had really worried that my parents and our church pastor would insist that my husband convert to xtianity. Meanwhile, my hindu mother-in-law actually asked me to convert to Hinduism.

I agreed to this utter nonsense because of the horrible pressure I was under. The priest was really rude and openly disparaged xtianity during the made up conversion ceremony. He even mumbled something about how there's no such thing as conversion in hinduism but happily took my inlaws money to do the phoney ritual. My mlaw even gave me a new hindu name!! She also gave me an Om necklace that she insisted I always wear.

The thing is, I never told my parents about the pseudo conversion so I would take off the necklace when I went to see them, put it back on when I saw my inlaws.

One day I forgot to put it on when I went to see my inlaws and my mlaw flipped out on me. We got into a huge fight and I never wore the necklace again. Eventually, we were able to sort out a happy medium. She pretty much left me alone after the om necklace blow up at least the religion part , started calling me by my real name and I participated in the few pujuas she does throughout the year. When our kids were born, she tried to assert herself again in all kinds of ways, including wanting to name them hindu names. My husband and I decided we would choose a hindu name for our first child and a xtian name for the second.

Neither of our families liked this.

MORE IN Weddings

My mlaw also wanted my son to have his hair shaved off on his 1st bday. My husband and I disagreed. This pissed them off. Oddly, my inlaws never did this for my husband. Now, my kids are teens and my inlaws have totally backed off the religion stuff. My kids are atheists but will participate in any religious activity our families may have. My inlaws are not religious fanatics. They were just worried that their religious culture would not be passed onto their grandchildren.

While it's true xtianity is very rigid about the one true God, Hindus too want to assert their religion when it comes to their children. My mlaw is no longer threatened by my xtian identity because she knows I'm not going prevent her grandchildren from being exposed to Hinduism. Generally speaking, Indians of all religions are quite serious about their religion and it sounds like both your families are.

Setting aside what your families want, what significance does your religion have in your life? If you decide to have kids, the two of you should really be talking about what that would look like with regard to the practicality of church and temple and the various rituals.

It's easy to let the parents cloud these important conversations with their demands and expectations. It is not an easy road but if your fiance is someone you think you can have a good life with, it is worth it. I don't at all regret my marriage choice even with the difficulties we have faced. Thankyou for your response: Well my bf who is marthoma and I have discussed a lot about our future plans and we have decided to expose our children to both hinduism and christianity.

His parents want me to convert. They also have their views of malayalee christians and say they are rigid and traditional and will try to enforce their religion on me and I keep telling my parents no one can ever force me to do anything I dont want to.

They are also worried about how our families will get along with each other. I think your future kids lives will be enriched by having two religious traditions.

• 5 stages of dating
• uk free dating site reviews
• two teachers hook up with student
• dating a minor florida law
• matchmaking management