I found my wife on a dating site
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Yes - it's one thing to "accidentally" download and app, but to have it setup with a profile is a pretty tough sell.
To be fair she could have downloaded it by accident - I know ads used to pop up all the time for that app on other apps and websites so it's possible she's hit download or something and not realised if she was trying to close an ad?! I know that doesn't explain her details being on there but the fact it doesn't have her picture or anything is a good sign. I'm married and have been with my SO for 7 years so obviously don't go on dating apps but one of my best friends does. Sometimes we'll go on so she can show me profiles of people she's been speaking to. Perhaps she made an account to look at something specific not to cheat on you or even to talk to other men but something innocent, like a friends profile or the profile of someone she knows or that one of her friends is dating.
Even if the emails only go back to November, she could have originally downloaded it a lot longer ago. It's possible that she had it earlier, definitely. But, she's only had this email address since we've been together, so it's not something she could plausibly say was there before we met. Also, all of her friends are either married or in long-term relationships.
I found my husband on an online dating site
Literally every single one. Prior to this, I trusted him completely and never would've thought he'd cheat. We were affectionate and had a great sex life, but he traveled a lot for work. If she uses the same password for everything, is it possible someone else like one of those friends you say don't like you set up the profile and installed the app?
No, I don't think so. The friends that don't like me live in another state, so it's unlikely. Was it just basic, vague info filled in or were there any personal statements completed too? It was bare-bones info.
You are here
No picture added or anything else of the sort. It looks like she started the profile, thought better of it, and abandoned ship. Which I can understand and forgive.
People make mistakes, it's natural. I just wish she'd be honest about it.
When your Spouse has Signed up with Dating Websites | Futurescopes
I just wanna tack onto this - I recently found myself on a dating site OKCupid. I'd never signed up for it, I only discovered it when I checked my junk email and found tonnes of emails in there from the site. I didn't even have a password, I had to setup a new password to login in and delete the profile. It was literally like they'd pulled info from available public info from my social media profiles and put it on there. Thankfully my husband thought it was hilarious I told him as soon as I found out what had happened but it makes me feel sick imagining what could have happened if he or a friend had found it before I did.
Anyway moral of the story -- it sounds like what happened to me could've happened to your wife, she might have downloaded the app to try to delete her profile or something so just ask her about it. I'd be able to believe that if I hadn't logged into the account using her email and the password she uses for everything. If I tried to log in and the password needed to be reset or the account needed to be verified, I'd be able to understand that; but it was set up with the password she always uses.
I wouldn't be too hard on her. It sounds like she may have created the profile at a weak moment but never followed up on it. It can happen to the best of us.
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I can understand why she might not want to own up to it. It would then lead into a conversation about it. It will take her back to that time and those thoughts which she has probably put behind her and feels no longer applies or is relevant. Why tell you about problems in your relationship if they no longer need fixing, etc.
What To Do If You Find Your Husband On Dating Sites?
Treat the exploration into the site as her own private thoughts. She should only be guilty if she DID something wrong - it doesn't sound like she ever crossed a line.
Her personal password was associated with the site. If you both feel the same, maybe you have the best chance to make it. Get checked for an STD immediately. I want it to be. About six years ago, my husband suffered a major stroke that left him paralyzed on his left side. This is not sinply a SPAM issue. He said he wants to reconcile with me.
Don't punish her for her thoughts. You'll have a bad time if you make her feel guilty for something she considers ancient history. People can act out what is expected of them - If they have to do the time, they might as well do the crime. Personally, I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. It doesn't look like she engaged with anyone on the app, and she deleted it relatively quickly after installing it. Poking around on a dating site in the way your SO did- without the intention of actually using it- could actually be good for a long term relationship rather than an indication of cheating.
In her case, it looks like it probably diffused some tension she was feeling, and allowed her to step back from any doubts she was having during your rough patch. It just sucks that you found the account. I don't blame you for feeling bad, but this sounds like something you can let go. Maybe wait for your feelings to cool down, and approach your wife again later to talk about this without anger or judgement. Can you log into her profile on zoosk?
"Communicate! What's the harm? Healthy relationships are X, Y and Z". Blah, blah, blah. Sorry, but that to me looks like the kind of useless, often detrimental. I DISCOVERED quite by chance that my wife has a secret phone. It was an old one we kept for our granddaughter to play games on. It was left.
If you know her standard passwords you can try and log in with them. If it's one of her standard passwords then clearly she created the account.
I trust my parter but if she starts acting in untrustworthy manner. My trust will end. It clearly bothers OP so he can't just let go. I'd normally agree with you but looking at the comments, it's pretty obvious that she's lying.
He logged in to it using her email password Having a dating app and lying about using it is good enough for me to know she's cheating. Emotionally cheating, physical cheating, not even cheating, It doesn't really matter. She's lying about things after you suspect cheating. You know you can't trust her and I'd never be able to trust her to be honest about anything that has anything to do with faithfulness. Thing is, I don't think she's cheating, or even wants to cheat.
We had our problems last year after moving to a new state and taking jobs with opposite schedules. I think she probably saw the app and got curious. The profile is pretty bare-bones info, with no picture and no subscription. There weren't any messages incoming or outgoing.
The only hang up I have is that she's persistent that she doesn't know how the profile got started or how the app got installed on her phone at some point. If it was just a mistake of curiosity, then why not just be honest about it? Unless, it's more than that.
Why do men use dating sites and cheat
I knew the password. It's the same one she uses for everything. I hope she does admit whatever it is she meant or did, though. It would put my mind much more at ease. I am curious what you are going to do if she doubles down on her lie? Will that be worse or better, than lying to you when you first asked about this? Once the trust is gone, the relationship is in rough waters.