Contents:
Courtship is dating with a purpose. Stay friends or acquaintances for the time being.
Courtship is about prayerful discernment, which means you will decide either that God is not calling you to marriage with this man or that He is not. Both outcomes are valid in a courtship!
You need to foster prayer in your lives individually and as a couple. Base your courtship in the family: Family is an invaluable resource and such an integral part of who we are. You will learn much about each other by seeing how each other relates to family members. And your family, in turn, can give you much insight about the man with whom you are courting and his family, about you! Love can be blind at times—family and friends can really help to correct our vision.
If you are far from family, make every effort to get home and spend time with them. And in the meantime, adopt a family friends from Church, for example to provide for you all the benefits of a family-based courtship. Items 6 — 15 deal with setting guidelines for yourselves from the very beginning of your courtship. The following points will cover areas you should consider in those guidelines.
Guard your hearts and do not dive emotionally into a courtship relationship head first.
Give yourselves time to learn about each other. Do not open up all your intimate secrets, desires and longings to each other immediately—just because you are courting. Allow your relationship to grow naturally. Keep the mystery alive by not revealing everything all at once.
You need to be honest with each other, but that does not mean you have to reveal everything right away. As the relationship grows, you will discover a natural pace for sharing those emotional intimacies. Decide what your limits will be and write them down. Remember that as you store up your treasures of physical intimacy before marriage—every sacrifice that you make to stay pure becomes a jewel for you to share with each other in marriage.
At that time—you will be able to delight in the beauty of giving yourselves to each other completely and totally. And your pleasure in marriage will be magnified by your time of waiting. To kiss or not to kiss: Are you going to allow for kissing or not?
Kissing is NOT a sin. It is not bad.
It does not mean that a couple is less virtuous in courting if they allow for kissing. It is a decision you make as you set your guidelines. So think through the reasons why you would choose to allow for it or not!
Saving that first kiss: Many couples decide to leave kissing out of their relationship—as kissing has the power to ignite their passions. They choose to wait until the altar for their first kiss. They also might be coming out of past relationships—where they are struggling to keep control over their passions. There are a variety of reasons why some couples choose this path.
Some couples allow for kissing—but they limit how and when and where—which is wise if they want to keep it from stirring those passions that can be so easily ignited. Are you allowing for hugging—and in what context? Hugging is a completely acceptable and beautiful expression of affection, support and love. However, prolonged hugging—while all alone and at times when you might be feeling weak like late at night —can stir passions.
How, where and when you spend time alone: During courtship you obviously will want and need to spend time alone together. But how and where are important questions. If you are spending time alone late at night or in complete isolation, you may just find that your resistance to temptation is weakened. I think kissing, if done thoughtfully and deliberately, can be a way to add a sense of connection and affection to a relationship that is moving toward marriage.
If you are far from family, make every effort to get home and spend time with them. However, kissing was more of a common greeting then, like a hug or a handshake today; the Bible also talks about Jacob kissing his dad Genesis I am just wondering if a young couple striving for purity and holiness together should not kiss each other until the altar or even just until engagement. However, prolonged hugging—while all alone and at times when you might be feeling weak like late at night —can stir passions. What is import is that you discuss these things in the family and when the time comes in your life for courtship you will be prepared with an excellent game plan! Time to pray and time to play: Keep the mystery alive by not revealing everything all at once.
One of my favorite quotes about kissing I heard from a pastor somewhere along the way said it like this: And the truth is — there is a huge difference between the two. This is where it crosses the line and has the potential to lead to other self-serving sexual acts.
How far is too far? Click the photos below to tune in and subscribe! Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. And now, to jump right into this question: And so much more! Let's be email friends!