Dating a man on the rebound

Dealing With a Man in a Rebound Relationship

Meaning just when someone tells you "don't have sex on the first date, it's a sure way that the guy won't respect you and the relationship won't last," someone else will come along and tell you they had sex on the first date and later got married. Dating rules are soft rules; they're guidelines and should be applied with common sense. This holds true for the person in a rebound relationship.

Generally, rebound relationships are wrought with challenges, but this is not case for everyone. Some people go on to enjoy a long term relationship and some even get married. You and your guy 'get along great, travel, have great communication, enjoy the same activities, etc. It's a great sign that he is introspective and doesn't want to repeat the same mistakes of the past in this wonderful new relationship.

As a result of not wanting to repeat the past, he questions his role in what went wrong with the previous relationship. It would be expected that as he tries to sort this out he would from time to time have conversations with his ex. More important is that he can describe these interactions as being civil. This is sign that he is moving through the grief and loss cycle in a normal and healthy way.

It is great that you care so much for the guy you're dating that you would even do research on rebound relationships.

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The downside is that you risk trying to approach the relationship emotionally removed in order to be objective. This is what mental health professionals do with their client's. This is not what a girlfriend should do. You can't be both emotionally removed and emotionally involved at the same time and expect that by doing so, you are giving "the relationship the absolute best possible chance. Your guy has already said that he wants to be in the relationship; the question is, do you? Pick an emotional side and stick with it. Are you going to be the therapist or the fantastic new girlfriend?

It's normal to feel jealousy when you hear that your boyfriend has talked with his ex. During those times, take a deep breath and remind yourself she's the ex and you are not. Remember that she is the past filled with painful memories and you are the present making memories.

When you feel jealousy raise its ugly head, use that feeling to offer your boyfriend a compliment about a trait he has and which you find attractive or sexy. This will allow you to slowly change the subject toward something more pleasant without showing your insecurities.

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If your boyfriend sees you as his confidant, friend and therapist, he will treat you as such. On the other hand, should he see you as passionate about life, fun to be with and someone who makes him feel special, he will respond to you accordingly. We saw each other constantly and he seemed really happy.

Expert Reply

If a guy is overly enthusiastic about you and the new relationship, it could be a sign that he is overcompensating and trying to convince himself that things are so great to help him get over his ex. He moved back to my moms with me. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by A New Mode, Inc. You can't be both emotionally removed and emotionally involved at the same time and expect that by doing so, you are giving "the relationship the absolute best possible chance. Just my 2 cents…. Virtual hugs coming your way… my rebound gf just dumped me a day ago.. We were practically joined at the hip for over a year and a half.

I know I was. My only concern was about the exgf… was he over it? Did he still love her? However, about two months into our relationship, I discovered texts between them. During the 2 weeks we broke up, they went to counseling together.

Ask a Guy: How Can I Avoid Being the Rebound?

He came back to me, assuring me he loved me, and that she was venting about their relationship and he told her she needed to get closure. We had no communication for a month until I asked to talk to him, to better understand what happened. We met for dinner. He said he was not in love with her, but loved her. Later in the conversation, he admitted he has seen her, has spoken to her, and will continue to see her because he likes her. He even admitted sleeping with her only 2 weeks after we broke up!

So… what happens after the rebound, when I am the one with the broken heart, doing the work to grieve our brief relationship? Is he thinking about me at all? Was he obligated to try to fix things with her, because she dumped him? If they are together, will it last? My friends think their relationship will fail, and that he will come back to me. They just hope that by that time I am over him. How do you know if a guy is ready for a relationship after the breakup?

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Any opinions on all of this? So true…I have recently gone through this and the underground kill power might be out of your thinking…. He suddenly burst out for some reason I am not aware of. And later I figured out somehow I get in between him and his ex. I found myself in this scenario a few months ago with a guy who thought he had worked through his past issues. Instead, all the time I thought we were creating a solid relationship, he was quietly working through his issues until it came to a point when he needed space. So if you encounter the rebound potential, back off for a bit and then give it another go.

First for everything if you know what I mean. Even his aunt and sister. As a matter of fact I watched her kids yesterday in a pinch.

He texted my friend yesterday asking for my moms number saying that she hated him but he had proof that I was talking to other guys the last time we were together. My friend said why does it matter if we werent together and it didnt happen when we were together? Then he said nevermind, i thought about it and i dont want the number. Should my mom text him and see what he wanted or wait for him to come to her. He decided we need to b friends.

He says that when he split from A, he actually started to feel the loss of the relationship before — in all that time he had never let himself come to terms with it. He kisses me when he sees me and until the other night, when I made the mistake of choosing a chic flic which reminded him of his ex!!! No long distance, but we have been broke up for 8 months. Every 6 to 8 weeks he comes back, either texting or talking and flirting with me when we run into each other, which leads to texting. He has another girl in his life that he never made clear to anyone he was dating.

This started about 3 months ago. He has been with me in some form talking, hanging out, even slept together twice 3 or 4 times since they started dating. Keep in mind that he always is the one who contacts me, even before she was in the picture. He came back for good a few weeks ago and then after 2 weeks decided to leave again. This time I told him not to come back. I hear though, through others, that he has been talking to her again.

I love him and do want him back, but not like this.

5 More Signs You're His REBOUND [Rebound Girlfriend]

Maybe it is time to move on? I was in a relationship with a guy for almost a year. I have a daughter so it moved rather quick.. I moved in with my friend with my daughter and this guy was her roommate. On top of that we worked together but thing progressed and worked out great. We all moved out of the apartment we were sharing. He moved back to my moms with me. Soon we decided to stay at his parent until we got our own place. Things stayed great between us even though life was rocky for both of us. I thought it was meant to be. As soon as we got our apartment things when downhill.

It was probably the strain of the financial stress and being together ALL the time. Working together and living together. I could see that we were more likely to argue. I still loved him so much and wanted to be with him but we finally met his breaking point I guess. We moved out of our apartment. We still work together and for a few weeks we still keep contact and remained our relationship to a minimum. Its an advantage and disadvantage for him.

Its so hard for me bc on top of that I have to hear my daughter ask for him. So now I see him flirting with a girl we work with. It breaks my heart. I feel like I was left in the dust. Sign up for our free newsletter and get a free chapter of our book,"He's Not That Complicated". The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by A New Mode, Inc. Other Must-See Related Posts: How Do You Find Love? When a Guy Doesn't Text Back Is He The One?

Learn About Men in a Rebound Relationship

How To Know For Sure Leave Your Comment Now Michelle C Williams So I have deep feeling for this guy who is going through a recent breakup.