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We no longer feel like we can just call someone. We need to set up a specific day and time to chat.
We presume that everyone is busy and feel like we're interrupting them when we call them. Yet the truth is no one is obligated to pick up the phone just because someone is calling them. We all know by now how to send the call to voicemail or put our phones on silent mode.
You want to call, then call. If that's still not your vibe, then text them to set up a time to call. I will say that asking someone out on a date directly over the phone is a hell of a lot more ballsy than sending a text that says "Hey, you wanna hang out sometime? This isn't some moral diatribe on what is the right way to communicate, but it is an invitation to be a little bolder.
Stop hiding behind typing on a screen and reach out more to the people you call your friends and lovers. This piece was originally published on MeetMindful. News Politics Entertainment Communities.
Should you text or call a woman to ask her on a date? very first articles back in “Stop Hanging Out With Women and Start Dating Them. Here's how to handle phone calls in the modern dating world. Does She Want You to Call Instead of Text? Here's How to Tell. Lindsay Tigar.
Opinion HuffPost Personal Videos. But these days text messaging is so easy to do. It has so many benefits. You can still communicate in places where you can't or don't want to talk doctor's office, libary, loud concert. You often get notifications e. You don't get that with a voicemail or missed call. You get to take your time and spend minutes or hours carefully crafting the perfect reply.
Or the most flirty, but not too eager, invitation. You get to avoid being caught off guard if someone asks you a vulnerable question. You don't know what state of emotion the person was in when they received your message, and therefore how they interpreted it. You don't know if they actually read your message. It's often difficult to tell when someone is being sarcastic or passive-aggressive.
You can get disassociated from the connection and forget that there is another human being on the other side of that conversation thread. Your ego can start to take over.
Your body hungers for more. It hungers for moments of oneness. Without real connection we feel lonely and disconnected. We often become more anxious and depressed. Healthy love creates life. Addictive love creates melodramas. Think back to a time when you first fell in love, that first wonderful stage of love. Chances are you were in the physical presence of your loved one and when you were apart you longed to hear their voice.
We all long to be seen, heard, cherished, and held. If we are not together we want to hear their voice and know they are reaching out to us now.
When we talk, we are interacting with a real person in real time. We are more transparent and real.
We often project our own illusions, both positive and negative, on to another. The sound of a voice can provide soothing and healing when the misunderstandings of human interaction get in the way of care and connection. Most everyone grew up in families that were less than optimal.
We suffered from various degrees of neglect, abuse, and abandonment. In order to get through the dating stage and develop a real relationship, we have to talk about our wounding. Texting is a poor substitute for talking when we reach stage four and are wanting real, lasting love.
In a world that is becoming increasingly stressed and more of us feel overwhelmed, anxious, and afraid, we need to know there is someone who has our back, who is there for us. We need real friends, real companions, real lovers. A call when we need connection can be life-saving. Words of love and encouragement that are given in real time by a real person, meant just for us can open our heart.
He is the author of thirteen books, including his most recent book, The Enlightened Marriage: Want to keep up?