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After we broke up, I went through the longest spell of singledom of my entire adult life. My mind naturally returned to the possibility of "getting back out there" online once again. Well, over the course of six years, I came and went from online dating sites. I tried every site I heard about, and sometimes had profiles up on multiple sites at a time. I tried different approaches as well. For a while, I would be very proactive about my online dating attempts, searching through matches, and reaching out to people I was interested in.
When that didn't seem to work, I got frustrated and decided to just wait for the right person to contact me. As I developed more strategies, I would play them on loop, with the occasional unsuccessful date in between, until I decided that I had had it. I was tired of the tedium of searching for someone, so I shut down all of my accounts and told myself that I would never return to the agonizing world of online dating again.
Turning my romantic life into a job wasn't proving itself to be satisfying, and so I found it easier to retreat into an acceptance of being single. I didn't do online dating for many years.
I focused on the other things in my life that made me happy and believed that, if I was meant to meet someone, I would. I had a handful of dates with a handful of guys over the course of the next several years, but I never felt the kind of connection I was seeking. But in the meantime, I built an incredibly full life for myself and was happier than I had ever been.
One day, the idea of putting up a profile online randomly popped into my head. I quickly dismissed the thought at first.
But then I gave it a bit more thought, and realized that I was in a very different place in my life than when I had last been active in the online dating world. And I felt like I could take the experience a little more lightly this go round. There I was, putting up a profile again, but this time putting much less pressure on myself and my search. Within a month, I happened to come across someone I had a crush on in college but had never dated. We scheduled a coffee date to catch up and ended up spending nine hours chatting about nothing and everything like long lost friends.
Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of how women characterize, treat, and try to change men from the list above. All Men are not guilt free, but not all women are guiltless either. It would be more beneficial if women tried to get along with men instead of attacking them. The same can be said to men about their relationships with women. Regardless, single men are learning to enjoy the single life and single women are too.
Stay civil singles with each other and learn to work with the other because the world would be really boring if it was only made up of men or women. Online dating is a cesspool because women are too picky. I once spoke to a woman who had got over messages in a month and a half, and she claims that not a SINGLE man was attractive to her. As a man, the best thing you can do is just walk away. They are not going to change, because women would rather die off instead of correct their silliness and create a better situation for everyone. My ex wife was a control freak…she was manipulative and knew exactly what I needed or how I should dress etc etc.
I was expected to change if our relationship was in trouble, yet she figured she was without faults…sure! She expected me to clean the house and do as she said. Life is too short, so I divorced her. Online dating is total joke! Women can pick and choose: No more online dating. This is a good article I think if men really articulate all their reasons for staying single it will not be an article but rather a book. I am 39 year old engineer, and never married and no children.
I have spent all my time studying and working on my business and paying my own mortgage. Being single I live the good life, not so much women, but friends, massages, dinners at restaurants 4 times a week and go as I please where and when I want and apologize to no one for living my life freely. I sometimes wish I could shake some sense into young men when I see them getting married young, get kids and then work the next 21 years as a slave for a family who rejects him with the power of the family courts.
Men who love women while women have nothing but contempt and disrespect for men. Any young man today must be wise and learn from millions of men who made these mistakes and learned the hard way. The love women talk about it not guaranteed or virtuous. But you will not regret investing your time, money and efforts into developing yourself instead, no one else will. Its time young men put themselves first as if there future depends on it.
Because it really does. Forget the traditions and religions doctrines as those who preach will not take accountability when things are your mess to put up with. Like parents will pressure you to marry an have grand children. But when things goes bad then its your baby to sort out…dont be bullied into it.
I appreciate the time you took to write a comment that comes from personal experience but also has good advice for single men. I am currently working on further developing and researching into this area. I would like to write a book about it since I have received quite a bit of positive feedback from this article. I know quite a few men who believe what you articulated in your comment and in the points that I listed in the article.
I hope you enjoy the site. Interesting article with some valid points, in my opinion. I have never been and never will be able to stand the hypocrisy, lies, and manipulation that the great majority of American women of all ages? No, no, and NO. For over seven decades now, it has sickened me how toxic an environment WOMEN have successfully striven to create to satisfy their own sexist agendas.
Please leave us alone. Blog About Team Contact. Make Men Into Their Pet Project Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of women making them into pet project.
Not Communicating What They Want Single men have given up on women because they do not directly communicate what they want and expect men to know by correctly reading body language. Decided That Women Are Not Worth Their Time Single men have given up on women because they have decided that women are not worth their time to try to develop any type of relationship with.
Thought Of As Animals Single men are giving up on women because they are sick of being thought of as animals. Men Are Disappointing Single men have giving up on women because they are tired of being thought of as a disappointment. After 5 years of unsuccessful online dating. I have no family here either. I spent months on my self. I took very good care myself. I stopped all online activity.
It was all about me. This time I give up totally. The scammers out for blood. The men just wanting a hookup. I was frustrated and I took it out on you.
I have lowered my standards, I have broadened my parameters, I have chatted with many men. And what I said about dating here in my little central Wisconsin town is still true. Those men would definitely feel taken advantage of and would most likely not continue the relationship. So I have to be a little careful about how I am perceived by the public. You would be proud to know that I am still out there trying to online date even though it is extremely difficult.
Yes, online dating is frustrating, but how else do we meet other single seniors? Once again, Match got slapped with a lawsuit. My story matters always. Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of always receiving the blame for when a relationship ends. Several months later, I met someone through some mutual friends and we began to date. I tried a few paid online dating sites without much luck.
I just think a lot of men have this ideal notion that they can still get a young woman who is perfect for them. For example, there is a man I found online who lives in a town 20 minutes away from me. We have a lot in common, and I mean a lot more than usual. And this is just one example of how online dating is so frustrating.
I appreciate that you wanted to check in , re-evaluate your earlier response, and update us. One inch taller is a deal-breaker? The trick, I think, is to differentiate between the changes that would go against what we like about ourselves, and which ones might be growth.
Well, maybe I should say that I have been on one first date that was perfect. every site I heard about, and sometimes had profiles up on multiple sites at a time . (or any other site/app), you know while that technology has simultaneously made dating You give a guy who's your type a chance and end up regretting it. You're almost ready to go offline, but first you should probably message all those.
Yes, online dating is frustrating, but how else do we meet other single seniors? Good for you sticking with it! I am in a different part of the country but many of your comments rang true with me in this area also! I am in a college town, a fair amount of cultural events, K population, and not many responses! Maybe I need to expand my acceptance level? How far do you compromise? It is much harder at my age!