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One woman, Esti, went on over 50 shidduch dates before finding her now-husband.
Before every date, she said, she would go for a run, then reapply deodorant and show up armed with a healthy flush. Tali, now engaged, first took up dating as an extracurricular activity, maintaining multiple leads at any given moment.
Prepared daters come with questions in mind. But the real question is what to wear to the hotel lobby. Dark, muted tones are popular among the girls, often paired with a flash of color in the necklace or scarf. Some women prefer to outsource hair, makeup and nails to a professional. Men tend to wear dark suits.
Why a hotel lobby? Couples can also get a drink and take their time without any pressure to order food. Daters in Jerusalem typically start simple and build up their repertoire of hotels as the relationship progresses; the Prima Kings, Leonardo or King Solomon are considered respectable-yet-modest choices for a first date.
If things go well, perhaps the Inbal will come next. When things get serious, the nascent couple will move on to the Waldorf or King David, where the patio is really nice during the summer. From there — depending, of course, on the couples and their customs — they venture outside the lobby, maybe in a shared activity. In the Haredi community, food might not come into the equation until an engagement is around the corner. These women tend to meet in popular Jerusalem cafes, where food will be on the table earlier in the relationship. This can prove rather difficult, as daters typically show up without a phone number or picture for reference, and have to pick their guy out of a sea of similarly dressed prospects.
Group speed-dating or initial meetings with a prospective bride and her parents at home – there are differences between ultra-Orthodox and. The Talmud (like a Jewish bible) mandates that sex must be done In the Ultra- Orthodox/Hasidic community, boys will traditionally get married.
Katz urges her male clients to distinguish themselves by the color of their tie — and to make it something other than light blue — which is one of the only ways for the woman to discern them in the crowd. Jihad, a supervisor at the Prima Kings, has been observing the scene as a hotel worker for over 40 years.
Upon finding one another and after settling on couches a careful distance apart, they order drinks.
Alcohol is off the table, and Jihad said the most popular orders are water, grapefruit or orange juice, and, less frequently, coffee or tea. A woman who orders a bottled water unnerves the man, said Katz. The quick turnaround time of shidduch dating makes every detail fair game for scrutiny. Did the man bring his black hat? Did he wear it during the date? So why did he bring it at all?
Eliezer traveled to his master's homeland to fulfill Abraham's wishes, arriving at a well. After a short prayer to God for guidance, describing how a virtuous woman might act toward a traveling stranger at the well, Rebekah appeared on the scene and did everything described in Eliezer's prayer. Eliezer then went with Rebekah to her family and appealed to them for permission to take Rebekah back with him to be Isaac's wife.
Once this permission was granted, Rebekah joined Eliezer on the road home to Isaac. Even so, Isaac gained his own impression of her before agreeing to marry her Rashi, commentary to Genesis However, when Eliezer proposes to take Rebekah back to Isaac in Canaan , he is told by Rebekah's family: This is taken as an instruction for Jewish parents to weigh their child's opinion in the balance during an arranged marriage.
Regardless of whether proper procedure is followed, this is not the end of the decision - it is believed by Jews that the final say belongs to God, who may have different plans compare with the match of Jacob and Leah. The Talmud Bavli Kiddushin 12a, first version states that academy head Rav would give corporal punishment to a man who would marry without shidduchin , that is, [12] without prearrangement by the couple. The text gives three versions of Rav's practice; the other two versions disagree.
Some authorities rule according to the first version, [13] [14] while others rule according to the other two versions. In Kiddushin 41a states that a man should not marry a woman he has not seen, lest he come to violate Love your neighbour as yourself.
The etymology of the words "shidduch" and "shadchan" is uncertain. Targum to Judges 5: Although Torah law allows for a bat-kohen to marry a challal , convert, or freed slave Hebrew eved meshukhrar , the Midrash and Talmud cite Rabbi Yochanan 's view that a daughter of the kohen is best off marrying a kohen.
Rabbi Yochanan maintains that in the event a bat-kohen marries a non-Kohen, undesired results for the groom are likely to surface, such as poverty or the demise of the groom. An exception to this taboo is if the groom is a Talmid Chacham.
Considering the prevalence of a number of genetic diseases in both the Ashkenazi and Sephardi communities, several organisations most notably Dor Yeshorim routinely screen large groups of young people anonymously, only handing them a telephone number and a PIN. When a shidduch is suggested, the candidates can phone the organisation, enter both their PINs, and find out whether their union could result in critically disabled children.
Although the implementation has been controversial, there has been a sharp decrease in the number of children born with Tay—Sachs disease and other genetic disorders since its inception. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Jewish peoplehood Jewish identity. Tanakh Torah Nevi'im Ketuvim. My friends set me up It's called a shidduch.
New York Times reports Before making a shidduch, Commentary to Alfasi's Halachot , Shabbat 5b s. Personal Glimpses, supplement to Hamodia, Pesach April , page Retrieved from " https: Hebrew words and phrases Yiddish words and phrases Intimate relationships Jewish marital law Dating Marriage Matchmaking Jewish life cycle. Views Read Edit View history.