Cross cultural dating tips

Cross cultural dating: the good, the great, and the awkward.

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I met him travelling alone in Brazil for goodness sake! The machismo that can be found in many cultures but for the purpose of my story-Latin American machismo is really hard ingrained into society. My husband said he was proud to have a wife that has a Masters degree though he does not, but once reality hit that I make more money than him it immediately began to influence the way he interacted with me. Wanting to take control over decisions he is unequipped to make because he does not quite understand how things work here in America ie: If we lived in Brazil I would follow his lead because it would be the wise thing to do.

Listen to the person who understands and can navigate the country a little bit more. Proceed with caution folks. Falling in love with someone for who they are and then expecting a degree change once you marry them would be considered bad form even for someone born and raised as your next-door neighbor. As for your friend… I agree that she should really be careful for a number of reasons. That makes it all the harder to see situations clearly.

Cross cultural dating tips

Good luck with your relationship… I hope things eventually work out for you, whether that implies staying in the relationship or not. Thank you very much for your article. I came across it while looking for a book, or an article, or something to help me through this difficult time of being married to a Karen man in Thailand. I am an American woman who moved here to the jungle four years ago to volunteer.

I met the driver of the company I worked for, and fell head over heels, because, as you mentioned above: I was in culture shock and he was there to give me comfort and touch and all things needed as a human being. Then I got pregnant. I wanted a child more than anything, and figuring that I was 28, an RN, and ready to be a single parent, it was a solid choice to have this baby. Little did I know…. My career ended abrubtly when I was fired for getting pregnant, I got kicked out of my house, and was still in a foreign land.

Now here we are, years later. My son is two, and I am jobless, a stay at home wife and mom, nothing I ever wanted to be.

I worked too hard to do dishes and wash clothes all day no offense to stay at home parents out there! My husband is not willing to move to a more modern town as he cannot leave his elderly father family values, as you mentioned, are so much stronger in other parts of the world. While we both speak English, it is still very difficult to discuss the nuances in life and soul. Fundamentally, our lives are very different, which is something I used to get excited about. Now, it leaves me feeling hopeless. Anyhow, thank you for your writing. I hope it does help some other couples who are considering this very difficult undertaking.

I am an American and am fluent in the Karen Language. I have been corresponding with a Karen man for a year and a half. I have been to Myanmar twice. He is educated and speaks Karen, Burmese, some Thai and English well.

Cross Cultural Dating Tips

I actually love the culture, the people and the language as well as the country, and I have been there during Monsoon! So, I am older than he is…. I was married to an American who dies young of cancer……I am wondering if my situation might be a little better than others? I wonder if it would work…..???? I am a native Indian and planning to move to France for professional settlement. Could there be cultural problems if I plan to marry a French woman. Based on all the posts I have read above, I believe I may be the odd one out. Although we eventually married, it was ill-fated, although I learned Spanish, because I failed at nearly every critical piece of advice mentioned above.

As they say, had I only known then what I know now. The bottom line is that I never truly learned how to appreciate her and her gentle giving nature until it was much too late. Unwittingly, I had effectively abandoned her both physically and emotionally in a foreign country, so that I could fulfill my military obligations. A relationship made up of two ISFJs can be extremely difficult when both parties share a common culture, have similar upbringings, and speak a common language.

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However; without solid communication from the onset and maintaining it throughout in a common language, life can get out of control very quickly. In fact, I met my current wife during another overseas tour in Latin America.

Quick Tips for Cross Cultural Dating

I think because my current wife and I were both a bit older and have learned to iron out our differences, based on many lessons Cristina taught me, we have learned the value of agreeing to disagree on certain items, and have ultimately experienced a more better long-term relationship. I wish everyone the best of luck, as the unfortunate truth is that love does not conquer all, but rather that love, coupled with respect and mutual understanding goes farther than anything else I can think of.

Of course capitalizing on commonalities is key in any relationship. This advice is so applicable even for people in the same broad culture but different subcultures. Thank you so much, this is well-written. I wish I had had this discussion when I was much younger.

My husband is from an Eastern culture and his family feel that I failed miserably as a daughter in law in addition to other things. We have been together for twenty three years, have three children and are happy. There are plenty of opportunities for misunderstandings!!! You BOTH need to compromise. If you sense that your in laws dislike you. Only marry if compromise and kindness are right at the core of your relationship …..

Thankyou for taking the time to write your article! I am considering marrying an Indian man. I plan to learn Telegu. Even though I am an American woman, I am from a sub-culture that is actually very similar to Indian culture, the Mennonites. I am very comfortable with aspects of his culture that few mainstream American women would tollerate. For example, male domination. I have dated extensively ever since getting out of a bad marriage to another American, and am very disappointed with the value system of American men.

I, as a former Mennonite, find happiness and purpose in serving and honoring my man. I do not consider being a housewife to be a lesser position than having a career. I love having the protection and love of a man who considers it an honor to care for me!

Sobering Advice for anyone contemplating a cross-cultural marriage

I know there will be hurdles ahead. I actually think there will be fewer hurdles with this relationship than if I had married another American. My Love gave me the highest compliment the other day when he told me that the reason he loves me is because I take care of him like his mom did! He loves his mom very much. He is a very intelligent and caring person. He values integrity and generosity in others. I am thankful for the kind Americans who have invested in his life since he arrived in the states. I am hoping and believing with all my heart that our relationship will last, and that God will carry us through the rough parts of the road that we have started on together!!

I am a Canadian woman and my partner is an East Indian. We are three years into the relationship and have two children. His parents fully reject me and refuse to accept our children. His parents are still badgering him to leave us and marry another Indian.

I interpret his inability to defend me and establish clear boundaries with his parents as a form of disrespect for me — as much as I try to be understanding of his culture — and I am feeling entirely insecure in the relationship and even about myself as a White woman. This is driving a wedge between us.

I am also uncertain of the future and get nowhere when trying to discuss this with him.

I find this behaviour on their part manipulative, coercive, and utterly selfish and childish. In my case, my would-be partner used me in part to lash out at her parents and I was too caught up in the thrill of the moment to notice before it was too late. My parents always warned me about staying away from a cross-cultural relationship. But I did not listen. At least we are not married, so we can part ways if things get much worse. For the sake of brevity, here are my daily issues: Differences in likes and dislikes in food.

Differences in behavioral standards and morays. Differences in standards of neatness and organization this is probably not a cultural issue.

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