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When participants viewed female faces and were asked to rate their attractiveness on a scale of one to eight, they viewed people as more or less beautiful based on their previous responses — so much so that their perception of beauty changed with each new face. View image of One study found our perception of attractiveness is influenced by faces we've just seen.
The reason comes down to how the brain handles new information.
For example, when you glance at a coffee mug and look away, you expect its identity to be the same when you look at it again. View image of As we swipe through dating profiles, our brain uses shortcuts to process the information. A similar concept applies in online dating. As millions of lovebirds scour digital profiles, their brains assume while they are fixated on a face that its identity will remain the same — attractive or not attractive.
They quickly swipe to the next profile and are presented with what could be best described as an illusion. View image of Our brains quickly adapt to our visual environment. It has to do with the speed with which you click through your options. When we catch a glimpse of someone we are more likely to find them attractive than if we look at them for a longer period of time.
Researchers have found that when we catch a glimpse of someone, we are more likely to find them attractive than if we look at them for a longer period of time. View image of Quickly clicking through dating sites increases the chance you'll find a face attractive. In the case of beauty, the people we find attractive are seen as higher-value because they could be a potential match or mate.
And so, given the scant information that comes from a quick glance, our brains are biased towards perceiving the option of greater importance: View image of In online dating, our brains are biased towards higher attractiveness. We already knew that our perceptions of the world are strongly affected by our context, our mood, and the actions of others. This has always been true. Well, they are also right to be shocked, as I do indeed believe that modern technology has allowed us to speed up the process of meeting people, exposing us to people and communities we may not have found in the places we go work, the gym, our friends' parties in our own every day lives.
But I don't tell them this deliberately.
Most Koreans tend to regard dating as a precursor to marriage. More than 60 years later, would that special girl remember me? However, one particularity of the human species is that pair bonds are often formed without necessarily having the intention of reproduction. There were a handful of really nice and thoughtful guys I went on dates with too, though. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same.
Instead, I simply tell them they're right about however they feel because they are. But not for the reasons they think. Here's the real reason everyone is right about online dating: It's evolutionary, something hard-wired in each of us. Remember the last time you bought a car? Up until the point you started thinking about buying that particular model, you most likely didn't notice it on the road very often.
But once your brain is made aware of its existence, and even attuned to notice details about it, you will start to see that car everywhere. The same thing happens in our search for love, thanks to our good old pal the unconscious mind. In short, our unconscious mind is comforted by habit. That's why habits are so hard to break, even if they're "bad.
Our ego minds want so badly to be right, such that when we experience the world, we often wear blinders to experiences that might prove us wrong. And this is not a bad thing, really. Our egos are just trying to keep us safe. But this way of believing certainly can put a damper on our lives — in love, work and otherwise. By entering online dating from a jaded or negative space, one's experience is more likely to meet that expectation or lack thereof. The same holds true when we actually go on dates. If we approach the date expecting the person to be boring or superficial or angry, then we will see the other person through a filter, looking for evidence to of these qualities.
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We create our own reality this way. The answer's simple, but not necessarily easy. Enter the experience with an open mind and heart. Try to clear your mind of expectations and beliefs about what online dating is or is not before you try it. No, I'm not encouraging a Pollyanic, naive approach.
But you can begin the process of looking for love online with a fundamental belief in place that will anchor you: This will allow you to remain as neutral as possible. At the same time, it will also allow the other person to show up freely as himself or herself, without the filtering effect of your judgments and assumptions.
That said, if you find your judgements bubbling up , simply to notice what your mind wants to label "bad.