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He's telling you he's not ready to be committed, to be a good boyfriend, to be emotionally intimate. He's telling you that now because when he's a complete jerk in 2 months he'll pull the "I told you I wasn't ready" card. I love and appreciate that you are open and understanding. Please find someone who shares these traits, not someone who requires that you rely on those traits just to be with them.
In essence, what everyone else is saying. Put your shoes by the door, but don't go running away yet. He's been open and honest with you and ya'll have good times. Give him a chance, he might grow up to be quite a prize. If you feel things get a bit too crazy at times, just quietly ask "How much longer does this relationship have to go on before this isn't an issue?
Why are you afraid of that?
What happened in your previous relationships? Does he want to screw around and sow his wild oats? What is he afraid of missing out on, or is that a cover for being afraid of intimacy? So, the question becomes, does he want to be with you or not? If being monogamous is a condition of being with you, then he has to choose to accept that or not. He just has to be really honest about what he wants. So I think you have to be really clear with him: Hells bells, at 33 I was married for 9 years.
The word is immature , typically at 33 you are starting to get your shit together not still worrying about playing the field. Now, for those into that sort of thing, hey whatever floats your boat, but I wager in 10 - 15 years time he'll be the equivalent of the open shirt, gold chain on harry chest "swinger" who is still hitting on 20 somethings. The relationship is very likely going to be tumultuous if you try and stick it out.
If you do stay with him, you need to rearrange the rules - someone who is worried that he may cheat on you has no business asking you for a commitment. If he pulls some bull about needed that before he can trust you enough to feel like he can be faithful, back away slowly and when you get to a safe distance, turn and run. Also, and I don't mean to be harsh, but do you have any reason to believe these talks about how "he's scared by how much he's opening up to me and letting me in" is just sweet talk from him? A more articulate version of "Your dad must be a thief because he stole the stars for your eyes.
It's possible he's coming off a bad one and not quite ready yet.
It's also possible he's a big baby. Foxjacket - Although I agree with this phrase in spirit, I don't recommend it as a "ground-rule setting" strategy. I say this because I don't think she can control his cheating. If he's going to cheat, he's going to cheat. But now, he's going to be WAY more crafty about it and when confronted, he'll deny it 'till the sun burns out.
Because really, what has he got to lose by lying at that point. The other tragic side effect is that she'll never believe him when he says he hasn't cheated because she's made being honest about this issue the nuclear option.
I just got out of a two month relationship that started out pretty hot and heavy but . Surely if you even whisper something like that to a guy you're dating he's. I just got out of a two month relationship that started out pretty hot and heavy but . That's why after you've kissed a guy, even if it's on the 2nd or 3rd date, you'll.
If he says he is a baby, selfish, and crazy, believe him. If you have only been dating for three months and he is already worried about cheating then he probably isn't the one for you. You want someone who wants YOU, not someone who is so busy worring about themselves that they are already bucking against 'imposed restrictions'. This sounds all too familiar.
From personal experience with a guy like this, I have to say the prognosis looks grim. Forgive my utter bluntness, if I were you, I would not waste any more of my time waiting for and good God helping him to get his shit together as a mature human being. Three months in and you are already seeing some major red flags? This level of selfishness does not change.
If anything, it only gets worse. I know you don't. You know you don't. You claim to have a pretty high maturity level and I trust you, so do not give in to the excuses and the bullshit and feed the drama that will only get worse over time. This is utter crap. He's disavowing responsibility for actions that are completely under his control.
He's claiming to care for you but preparing you for the agony he expects to inflict. He's not committed to your relationship; he's playing a Committed Relationship pretend game. He will soon tire of it and stop playing. Oh, I've been with a man like this. It did not end well. Right now, I'm a bit worried that I'll forget to get some employees' pay claims in to the right office by the right time, because even though I wouldn't want to do it, I know that isn't beyond me.
But I'm not worried I'll rob a bank, because robbing a bank falls far outside my normal behaviour. Same with cheating - not worried I'll do it, because I know fine well I wouldn't.
Someone telling me that they're worried they'll cheat on me is telling me that cheating on me is not outside their standard range of behaviour - and I've never known somebody say "I'm afraid I'll hurt you" who didn't end up doing exactly that. It just means that if they're going to do that, they'll hide it. If you have a pattern of busying yourself with things that interfere with dating, you may likely have some avoidance issues when it comes to deepening a romantic relationship.
Women who are workaholics, in particular, often have trouble in communicating and being with their partners consistently. While this makes sense, it leaves less room for our romantic lives to blossom, and may serve a protective purpose. You might notice you tend to do one or more of these behaviors in your dating life.
And you may or may not be puzzled as to why, and how to handle dating avoidance or fear of real, long lasting partnership. A skilled therapist can help you to break these patterns, if you so wish, or to work through the personal underpinnings to your dating styles.