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To what extent does Computer Mediated Communication emails, texts, etc , used in online dating, foster intimacy as compared to face-to-face communication? Does this intimacy carry over to the face-to-face meeting with a potential partner? Drawing upon the extensive research and meta-analysis compiled in Matthew D. Dating, Sex and Marriage , there seems ample evidence that not only does computer mediated communication emails, texts, etc.
Finkel and colleagues who contribute to this understanding consider the online Computer mediated communication in terms of the virtual speaker and the virtual listener. One of the few studies that examined this question found that when men and women were assigned to two possible situations, an on-line communication connection followed by a face-to-face meeting vs. An important factor in this finding is timing. The positive feelings from online to face-to-face meetings only carried over to face-to-face meetings when the couple met within three weeks of the on-line communication.
It may be that the relationship needs to move fairly quickly from online to face-to face to validate and build on the positive feelings that have been generated. These findings underscore the value of and even potential benefits of online dating as a preface to in-person meeting and dating.
They invite more research and generate some take-home messages. Want to hear the best advice on dating?
Learn more about their work at couplesaftertrauma. Or via RSS Feed. Find help or get online counseling now. By Suzanne Phillips, Psy. One study assigned opposite sex participants to one of the following exchanges: Surprisingly, the text-only couples made more statements of affection than either of the other groups.
In addition, in that same study, both the text-only couples and the online with a webcam couples made more intimate self-disclosures and asked more intimate questions than the couples speaking face-to face. Apparently initiating a relationship on-line seems to invite a more intimate exchange and has some positive benefits. When writing, a person has the time to think about what to say and the opportunity to choose the way to self-disclose. The Virtual Listener In the case of most people meeting through on-line dating sites, there is the wish to find a potential match.
This fuels positive attributions. This means that if the virtual listener is doubtful or unclear about the meaning of the message received, there is a tendency to see it as positive or attribute a positive meaning to it.
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