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She learned to block messages. The dates that went well were the hardest.
Twice, I came home on a high. But afterwards, each time, the dates would ignore her messages and disappear. One YouGov survey suggests that one in five UK relationships starts online and it has been estimated that nine million of us log on each day to find love. Add in dating apps and the figures become mind-boggling. Tinder currently boasts 1. But have we become too casual? There are the physical dangers, of course: The National Crime Agency recently stated that the number of people reporting being raped on their first date with someone they met on a dating app has risen six-fold in five years.
But for many more of us, digital dating will shake self-esteem, drain confidence and damage the soul.
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Andrew G Marshall, a marital therapist and author of Heal and Move On , who works with individuals recovering from a break-up or unable to find love, is not a fan: There are many reasons why digital dating can be a whirlwind of rejection and non-commitment. Maybe this is why the number of single users continues to rise, despite the proliferation of these multiple platforms providing millions of dating opportunities. Another is that manners fall by the wayside.
Another unattractive aspect of digital dating is that looks have become everything. Writer and digital media specialist Patrice Bendig was 25 when she logged on to online dating in She was sent a range of matches and messaged about ten of them. She messaged another ten. Multiple men were rejecting me, and constantly.
Patrice began to avoid socialising. On Fridays, she would get home from work, unplug her phone and spend the weekend alone. After spending one Christmas Day crying, Patrice finally sought treatment for depression. Katie, 49, also turned to therapy after online dating. Each encounter left me more dispirited. Were these men my future? Was this the best I could hope for?
It was the last date that did it. I started asking myself what was it about me that made him think he could do that? As with Patrice, the experience hit Katie when she was at a low. He also advises not to do online dating if you feel being turned down might damage you. At the same time, he recommends against rejecting people after one date.
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