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This week, we talked about preparing for dating. And so, this week, we looked at: Howcan you work on yourself as a single person, preparing for a relationship in the future? While there could be many ways to do this, we looked at one way on Wednesday: In Ephesians 5, Paul exhorts husbands and wives to better themselves in love for one another. And he does this in a unique way that is applicable to singles: Look to the love of Christ. Grow in the love of Christ. Understand the love of Jesus.
In this passage, Paul describes Jesus as a husband to the church, who loves us, gives himself for us, and sanctifies us. And what Paul wants to communicate, is that to grow in relationship with Christ means to realize just how much Jesus cares for and loves the church perfectly, as a perfect husband. He loves us before we loved him. And he is making us new from the inside out. Paul believes if we can understand Jesus as the hero, the husband, the prince — who rescues and saves us in perfect love — then we will be able to love others in the future.
And knowing that love safeguards us from idolizing relationships.
All too often we think that once we find the perfect guy or girl, then all of our dreams will come true. But that is not true. No one we will date will ever be perfect. Jesus defines what love looks like. And so knowing him will help us like him.
And it will help us to look for a guy or girl who loves like Jesus as well. If you want to listen to the audio, click here or read the summary below: We started our dating series this Wednesday! And we introduced this series by looking at two attitudes, or mindsets toward dating. This is bad view, because it is centered on my emotions, my desires, my insecurities. And , it tries to find security in a finite person! So what is the biblical view of dating? But , we can find principles from the Bible relationships, love, marriage, romance, etc that can help us date in a way that honors Jesus.
We looked at two from Ephesians 5: First, what is the purpose of dating?
Do they make me happy? It should instead be: Should I marry this person? So we should also ask: Do we glorify Jesus better together or apart? Can we image and picture Jesus and his church better together or apart? Dating is a process where two friends, a guy and a girl, ask one another, are we better together or apart?
Real love will wait for the right time and right circumstances. It is not unusual for two committed Christians to agree to refrain from all physical contact beyond holding hands until marriage. Some of the happiest married couples can testify to the fact that their first kiss was at the marriage altar!
The sense of being rejected by someone they loved is devastating. In Ephesians 5, Paul exhorts husbands and wives to better themselves in love for one another. There is no commitment involved. This week, we talked about preparing for dating. We looked at two from Ephesians 5: In breaking up, these two hearts which have become glued together are ripped apart.
In a God-ordained courtship, there should be the approval of the parents on both sides. If one or both sets of parents disapprove of the relationship, that is a danger signal which should not be ignored. A successful marriage involves serious preparation on the part of both the guy and girl. Financial freedom is a necessity in a happy marriage.
The couple should seriously consider a budget. You may be madly in love with each other, but if you do not have a good education and financial freedom, you may not be ready for courtship. Ideally, both husband and wife should be committed Christians who love the Lord Jesus with all their hearts. There will be serious problems if one partner is a fully-committed Christian and the other is complacent about the things of God.
Under no circumstances should a born-again Christian marry an unbeliever. Courtship brings a new freedom in relationships with the opposite sex. You are focused on one person and not wondering about every guy or girl you meet. It avoids envy and jealousy. Courtship promotes self-control and moral purity. It promotes responsibility—you are seriously planning and preparing for life. God delights in the happiness of His children. Every command of God is an expression of His love and His desire that we enjoy the best He has in mind for us.
Let us see what God says about sexual matters. Sexual intercourse between a man and a woman who are not married is called fornication. God hates all sins, but He has a special hatred for the sin of fornication. God hates this sin because it destroys the beautiful plan that God has in mind for you. For you are bought with a price: In business, defrauding is cheating—leading someone to expect certain benefits which you know are false.
When a guy professes to love a girl and talks about their getting married some day in order to entice her to have sex with him, that is defrauding. This means God will punish those who commit this sin.
A good rule for guys and girls is this: Do not give or take that which may some day rightfully belong to another person. God does not hate homosexuals; He loves them! He loves them so much that He gave His only Son to die for them. But God hates their sin. The Bible tells us that God destroyed the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because of this sin. For a Christian to marry an unbeliever is a violation of the will of God. In no uncertain terms God warns us against this sin. Let this fact impress itself on your mind: A researcher has discovered a way to forecast the future of four-year olds by watching how they interact with a marshmallow.
He invites the children one by one into a plain room with nothing but a small table and a marshmallow.
Through a one-way window he is able to watch what happens. Some children grab the marshmallow the minute he is gone. Some last a few minutes while others are determined to wait. They cover their eyes, sing to themselves, try to play a game, or even fall asleep.
When the scientist returns, he gives these children their hard-earned two marshmallows. But that is not the end of the story. By the time these children reached high school, the researcher found that those, who as four-year olds held out for the second marshmallow, grew up to be better adjusted, more popular, more confident and dependable teenagers than those who gave in to temptation early on.
We are composed of three parts —body, soul, and spirit. Our soul is our self—composed of mind, emotions, and will. Our spirit is our innermost being by which we can know God and receive His life. They develop a deep friendship based on their common love for the Lord Jesus. As they grow closer to God, they draw closer to each other. In the courtship period, as they grow closer to God, they again grow closer to each other.
Finally, in marriage, they enjoy oneness of spirit, oneness of soul, and oneness of body. They become one in Christ. The result is the deepest, happiest, most fulfilling relationship that can be known by two people in this life. I will not be involved in the sin of fornication, even if it means losing dates.
I want to wait until then. You will be tempted to do things that you know you should not do. Young people who are involved in sinful pleasures take delight in dragging others down to their level. If you make excuses, they will keep after you. The fact is, if I am not happy and content as a single person, I will not be happy and content as a married person.
I have given my heart to the Person who loves me so much that He died on a bloody cross for me so I could live in Heaven with Him. I will wait for the one of His choice. God has told me in no uncertain terms that it is never His will for me as a believer to marry an unbeliever.
If I do not date an unbeliever, I will not marry one.
Until I am ready for marriage, I will not be involved in a lot of pointless romantic relationships that create problems. I will turn away from flirting and playing the dating game. I will turn to courtship, which promotes self-control, moral purity, and responsibility. I will turn from living for myself and begin showing real love for my brother or sister in Christ. Why should I not trust Him? Has He not done everything to win and keep my love, my trust, and my confidence?