Been dating a year and a half
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We spent thanksgiving and Christmas together and everything.
Having no support or just someone to vent sucks, i can tell he feels bad about the situation but were both kind of stuck. I am very lonely, I do not have many friends, I work a very difficult job while being only So i met him in a game called IMVU. It all ended with he followed me home to the apartment and there we spend all night talking. We talked for one year and 6 months and finally saw each other for the first time…. By the time I was sixteen, everything started to be hard for me to move on. Female losers often slap, kick and even punch their male partners when upset.
He even bought my son gifts and his family did the same for him and me. After the holidays, we had been talking for about 5 months and we had decided to cut any and everyone we had on the side off and just make it exclusive. But, the problem is that he never made me his girlfriend at all. We spend almost every day together, including with my son, as well as with our family. Now, it has been a year of the same thing, up and down between us. He says that I am putting too much into having a title. If we both know how each other feelings then why do we need a title?
So, I stop asking for it and just went along with the flow. He spends more time with his male best friend and this girl that is like a sister to him and her boyfriend. So, I do not know what to do anymore or how to make him happy with what we have. So, now we are on a break because he said he needs time to think about what he wants and if this is something he is ready for in the sense of my son and family life and the responsibility.
But, one thing I have learned is when a man says he needs space you have to give it to them. Let me say this for the record: We know how we feel about each other, so why we have to put titles on it?
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He is not serious about you. You will never have a serious relationship. You women will stop giving your all to a man who is only giving you part of himself. You keep giving percent of yourselves in these so-called relationships, hoping these knuckle-head men will wake up and give percent in return. You go above and beyond for them, bending over backward, holding him down, playing house and acting like a family, but, all the while he is still in the streets, hanging out, and doing him.
We were just chilling. You were not my woman, and I was not your man. What is preventing him from saying that you are his woman, his girlfriend, and he is your man, your boyfriend? He wants to play alright — play in your bed. Play in your house. He is continuing to enjoy his single life, yet, at the same time he makes you feel as if he is going to settle down with you.
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He spends time here and there with you and your son, and he enjoys the perks of your commitment to him, but he is not interested in being serious. Yes, you met his mother and family, but, as much as they may love you and adore your son, I bet they are in his ear telling him that he should not settle down with a woman who already has a child, and that he needs to stop playing house with you. They are being polite, and smiling in your face. He wants to have fun, hang out, and do him.
So, why does he keep coming around? Until he meets someone else, you are someone to do. You are his go-to safe haven. You can ask him to be honest with you and to tell you the truth about you having a child, and if that scares him, and if he is afraid to commit to a woman with a child.
Does he see a future with you, or is he passing the time with you until he meets someone else? You hang on, hoping each mean-then-sweet cycle is the last one. They give you the impression that you had it anger, yelling, assault coming and deserved the anger, violence, pouting, or physical display of aggression. They shower you with phone calls, often every five minutes, hoping that you will make an agreement or see them just to stop the telephone harassment. Some call your relatives, your friends, their friends, and anyone else they can think of — telling those people to call you and tell you how much they love you.
Creative losers often create so much social pressure that the victim agrees to go back to the bad relationship rather than continue under the social pressure. Their reaction is emotionally intense, a behavior they use to keep you an emotional prisoner. If you go back to them, you actually fear a worse reaction if you threaten to leave again making you a prisoner and they later frequently recall the incident to you as further evidence of what a bad person you are.
12 questions couples should be able to answer about each other after a year together
Remember, if your prize dog jumps the fence and escapes, if you get him back you build a higher fence. If you have an individual activity, they demand that they accompany you, making you feel miserable during the entire activity. The idea behind this is to prevent you from having fun or interests other than those which they totally control.
If you speak to a member of the opposite sex, you receive twenty questions about how you know them. They will notice the type of mud on your car, question why you shop certain places, and question why you called a friend, why the friend called you, and so forth. They may begin to tell you what to wear, what to listen to in music, and how to behave in public.
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Eventually, they tell you that you can not talk to certain friends or acquaintances, go certain places, or talk about certain issues in public. When in public, you quickly learn that any opinion you express may cause them to verbally attack you, either at the time or later. This is another method of destroying your self-esteem and confidence. After months of this technique, they begin telling you how lucky you are to have them — somebody who tolerates someone so inadequate and worthless as you.
Keep in mind, this same sense of entitlement will be used against you. If you disobey their desires or demands, or violate one of their rules, they feel they are entitled to punish you in any manner they see fit. They will notice a change in your personality or your withdrawal. The mention of your family members or friends will spark an angry response from them — eventually placing you in the situation where you stop talking about those you care about, even your own family members.
Bad Stories People often let you know about their personality by the stories they tell about themselves.
The stories a person tells informs us of how they see themselves, what they think is interesting, and what they think will impress you. A humorous individual will tell funny stories on himself. They may tell you about past relationships and in every case, they assure you that they were treated horribly despite how wonderful they were to that person. Waitresses, clerks, or other neutral individuals will be treated badly.
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A mentally healthy person is consistent, they treat almost all people the same way all the time. If you find yourself dating a man who treats you like a queen and other females like dirt — hit the road. The Reputation As mentioned, mentally healthy individuals are consistent in their personality and their behavior. Pay attention to the reputation.
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If the reputation has two sides, good and bad, your risk is high. You will be dealing with the bad side once the honeymoon is over in the relationship. Emotionally healthy and moral individuals will not tolerate friendships with losers that treat others so badly. You become paranoid as well — being careful what you wear and say. Nonviolent males find themselves in physical fights with female losers. Nonviolent females find themselves yelling and screaming when they can no longer take the verbal abuse or intimidation.
In emotional and physical self-defense, we behave differently and oddly. If you are involved in a relationship with one of these versions, you may require professional and legal assistance to save yourself. Physical Abuser Physical abusers begin the relationship with physical moving — shoving, pushing, forcing, etc. Getting away from physical abusers often requires the assistance of family, law enforcement agencies, or local abuse agencies.
Female losers often physically attack their partner, break car windows, or behave with such violence that the male partner is forced to physically protect himself from the assault. They may fake terminal illness, pregnancy, or disease. If you try to end the relationship, they react violently and give you the impression that you, your friends, or your family are in serious danger. People often then remain in the abusive and controlling relationship due to fear of harm to their family or their reputation.
Psychotic or psychiatrically ill losers may also stalk, follow, or harass you. They may threaten physical violence, show weapons, or threaten to kill you or themselves if you leave them. If you try to date others, they may follow you or threaten your new date. Your new date may be subjected to phone harassment, vandalism, threats, and even physical assaults. You may need help and legal action to separate from these individuals.
During the detachment phase you should….
Observe the way you are treated. Gradually become more boring, talk less, share less feelings and opinions.
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Quietly contact your family and supportive others. Determine what help they might be — a place to stay, protection, financial help, etc. If you fear violence or abuse, check local legal or law enforcement options such as a restraining order. Stop arguing, debating or discussing issues. Begin dropping hints that you are depressed, burned out, or confused about life in general.