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Friends and family will bring out different aspects of your partners personality and behavior.
You job is to figure out how you feel about these heretofore unknown traits. It's not always easy, but think outside the box. While it's tempting to want to lead with a picture of you in your late twenties, your date isn't going to take kindly to the subterfuge when you show up looking your actual age. It may sound trite, but your attractiveness really does hinge on owning who you are, not who you were or indeed who you will be.
A good rule of thumb is to try and post pictures taken within the past 18 months: A window of time in which you probably weighed the same amount or sported around the same amount of hair. If you really want to show your adventurous side by posting a five-year-old picture of you summiting Mount Kilimanjaro, add a caption that notes the year. While being authentic is key, being a pill or a grouch is unlikely to have people salivating to spend an evening with you. More importantly, negativity is indicative of pain, which, by your 40s, you've probably experienced.
We'd rather learn about your baggage while also discovering all your amazing qualities. Then we'll love you for you—battle scars and all. You have to be original on dating sites or apps. Everyone is laid back and loves to travel and enjoys movies. If they do, you don't want them.
Plankton, take note. Another great advantage to signing up for EliteSingles is our handy dating app , available for both iOS and Android. However, if you want to give eHarmony a test-drive for three days, you can check out my article on How to Get an eHarmony Free Trial. Make some decisions and set some personal guidelines about how you want to integrate it into your life. This is the essence of attractiveness. What's your current income level?
You're in your 40s! You've lived a life! Prove it! Whether you're dating online or IRL, at some point, you're going to divulge your age, whether you have children, and so on. You may be tempted to fib or lie by omission in the name of presenting yourself as a youthful, free-wheeling bon vivant.
While stretching the truth might help you attain or maintain the interest of a potential partner in the short term, it won't be long before the reality becomes apparent and you're still single. Remember, if you're married but separated, you're married. If you're married and living single, you're married. If you want to date married, at least be honest with yourself and those you're dating.
But best of all, if you want to be single, make sure you are—legally. If there's a chance that a date might be coming back to your place for a nightcap, make sure it doesn't look like the sort of bachelor pad you'd expect a single 40 year old man to live in.
Stow your games console, hide the gravity bong, tidy the place up, and air it out. A man of your age needn't make the point that he's living large, but he'd do well to show he cares about his surroundings. Start making a list of all the places that check your boxes and are also conducive to a great date. Those items might include a great atmosphere, fantastic cocktails, great food, pricing that south of outrageous, friendly service, and flattering lighting you are in your 40s, after all.
Like dressing young, planning to meet up at a place with banging music and a predominantly mid-twenties crowd will definitely backfire. A guy in his twenties or thirties can maybe get away with rolling up for a date in a patchy beard, battered Vans, and dirty t-shirt. You can't do this anymore. Give yourself a hard look and see what you could polish while still feeling like your authentic self. Avoid the urge to dress younger. This is in contrast to dressing classic—albeit with a few playful little touches—which tends to do the opposite.
Ah, yes. The most important piece of dating advice for men: How to nail the greeting. Stand tall, flash those pearly whites, and give your date a greeting that's both warm and not overly familiar. You'll have to discern whether that's a hug, a Euro-style double-cheek kiss, or a handshake. Tell your date that you're pleased to see them and assuming that you arrived first—always a good move—make sure you've secured a well located table, a drinks menu to peruse, and the attention of your server.
Guide your date to sit with their back against the wall so that you are not distracted by anything else going on around you. Or at least silence it once your date has arrived. Check it when your they use the restroom if you need to but make you stay present and engaged. And for Pete's sake, don't wear your phone on belt clip. Being dad age doesn't excuse you from making a classic dad mistake. Cuddy , Ph.
Don't fold your arms in front of your chest; keep an open posture. Occupy extra space with your body language. It's so easy for a man in his 40s to get annoyed with terrible service or unruly neighbors on a date. Let it go, and don't get rattled. If you get annoyed, she will only feel awkward.
On a first date, you don't want to get into an in-depth conversation about how you're having a midlife crisis or how you hate your career. If all goes well, they'll be time for some serious talks down the road, but in the early stages of dating, have some fun, keep it lighthearted, and ask a million questions. At the grand old age of 40, you've likely racked up some accolades and some great stories to tell.
But don't let yarns of your own derring do get in your way. Answer questions when they are asked, but as soon as you've delivered a brief and satisfactory answer—hopefully in a way that's funny, intriguing, and charming—ask your date something you genuinely want to know about them and pay attention for interesting avenues of inquiry to explore. Your MO should be to focus on your date and get them to open up, not wonder how they measure up.
If you're looking for dating advice for men over 40, you probably have quite a bit of life experience behind you. But that doesn't mean you can have an ego. But don't be afraid to share some information that reveals a little about your personality and your achievements. Researchers at the University of British Columbia found that unlike arrogance, pride can be a turn on. They discovered this by asking women to look at photos of men exhibiting shame, happiness, and pride, then asking them to rate the guys' attractiveness.
When it's your turn to divulge some information about yourself, it's always a good idea to talk about something you take pride in. It could be sending your parents on a trip they've always wanted to go on, or coaching your kids little league team. As long as the sense of achievement you feel is genuine, your attractive display of pride will shine through.
If there's a piece of information about you that you're dying for your date to know but you can't think of a way to seamlessly slide it into the conversation, try asking your date the question that you want to be asked. Once she's answered your question, it's very likely that she'll serve the same question right back to you. Being in your 40s means that you've got some life under your belt. That can be attractive, but so can a little self-awareness. Your date will, too. If there's one primary piece of dating advice for men over 40, it's to know what you want.
Same goes for money, religion, and lifestyle.