Sikh and interracial dating


Anyone who's been to a South Asian wedding knows it involves an elaborate showcase and infinite guest list, something the young couple refused to shoulder. The couple instead set up a lovely, intimate, non-denominational ceremony last May with 75 close friends and family.

They also gave Ari's parents the opportunity to host a follow-up reception to their liking, provided the parents covered those costs. I'm giggling as they recount these stories, mainly because my wife and I went through near-identical steps. It's so nice to hear that others had to suffer about haggling over guest lists, multiple meetings about what tradition or religious deeds needed to be abandoned and why the traditional red sari must be ditched. Putting on a sari isn't like putting on a dress and zipping it up.

It's a two-person job. My wife and I conceded to the red sari, the wedding decision we regret most. It meant she had to disappear for 45 minutes during our reception, just as the party was jumping off with some sick soca.

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Their wedding s are behind them, so I warn Ari and Joanne about the final cultural real estate: Everyone has an opinion on the customs and lessons you must instill. They don't have to deal with that now. Ari's parents have yet to visit their home, but the couple are happy to report some warming-up to Joanne. If you kill them with kindness, what are they going to do? Arminder was living with his parents when he announced his intention to marry Tania.

They gave him an ultimatum: Almost five years earlier, Arminder was ready for a traditional arranged marriage to a Sikh girl. Tania, from El Salvador, was open to a relationship with just about anybody but had never imagined dating a Sikh guy. The two worked at a factory putting together circuit boards.

4 Interracial Couples Share Their Stories – The OkCupid Blog

Tania's embarrassed to admit she used to make "terrorist" jokes about Arminder's turban and long beard. He trims it now. But after a year of lunchroom chats, a relationship bloomed. They knew things would be difficult. Tania's older sister warned her that Arminder could leave her if his parents force an arranged marriage on him something that sadly does happen.

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She trusted him anyway. When Arminder told his parents about the relationship after three years of hiding it, they forbade it. The couple pretended to break up, and Arminder worked toward a stable career so they'd consider him responsible enough to make his own decisions. They hid their relationship for another year - until it got too big to hide, precipitating the break with his family. Though they moved into their own space, the couple ended up not getting married, because Arminder didn't want a ceremony that fell short of what he'd hoped for.

Eventually, the common-law couple had their first child, a girl, and gave her both a Spanish and Punjabi Sikh name. He may have broken from his family, but Arminder never let go of his heritage. After a couple of months, Tania insisted it was time their child met her grandparents.

Arminder refused to go without her. He called his mother, the decision-maker in a patriarchal household, and she agreed to welcome the new family into her home. It was the first time Tania had ever met them. We have so many pictures of that day, with Arminder's mom holding my daughter and just staring at her face. Eventually, the extended family repaired their relationships.

What is the Sikh attitude to inter-faith marriages?

The grandparents took on babysitting duties. And when Tania was expecting her second daughter, Arminder's parents invited the couple to move in. There was some reluctance. They wanted their kids and grandkids to have the same upbringing and beliefs. That's the kind of thing you pass down from generations. No matter what colour or religion you come from, I think every parent and grandparent wants that. I know they are good-hearted people. Seeing me, their oldest child, go away was a heartbreaker for them.

When we came back into the picture with a new granddaughter, it was special. Tania agreed to move in, but on the condition that she be allowed to live her way while also respecting her in-laws' customs. The household compromises between meat-eaters and vegetarians; rotis and pupusas; speaking Punjabi, Spanish and English; Catholic mass and the Sikh temple the kids attend both.

Tania goes out some nights with friends despite her father-in-law's puzzled looks. Juggling two cultures, particularly when deciding what to teach the kids, is an effort.

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But Arminder credits constant communication for making it work. Right now, the couple have another quandary. They have a third child, a son, and are deciding whether to cut his hair for the first time or let it grow out so the boy can work toward a turban.

I want him to experience it. Arminder left this decision to Tania. She's not keen on the long hair, the maintenance or the look, so she's getting the shears ready. But she's assured Arminder that ultimately the child will decide. As Greg DeRoche explains, it's a minority group with its own minorities.

So you're picking that up and putting it into another minority community. Greg laughs that his old community in Picton probably got a double whammy when he brought home a man who also happened to be Black. The two got engaged in June while visiting Winston's family in Bermuda. That's when this happy Toronto couple became a modern-day Richard and Mildred Loving. Same-sex marriage isn't recognized in Bermuda, which is why Greg and Winston planned to marry here. But an advocacy group there got wind of their engagement through Facebook and reached out to them.

Now, Bermuda lawyer, MP and former attorney general Mark Pettingill is using Greg and Winston's filing to take the fight to that nation's Supreme Court, hoping for real and immediate change. We chatted about it and decided, 'Absolutely - why not be a part of something that's bigger than ourselves?

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While the LGBTQ conversation is healthier in Bermuda than in other Caribbean countries like Jamaica and Trinidad, where intercourse between two people of the same sex is illegal, Greg and Winston see their case as an opportunity to speed up progress and acceptance. There's a whole month devoted to the LGBT community here. In Bermuda you're tolerated. They're like, 'All right we'll deal with you because you're here and we have no choice. In , Bermuda's Human Rights Act was amended to outlaw discrimination based on sexual orientation, a motion passed while Pettingill was attorney general.

Politicians opposing the bill claimed it would start the "slippery slope" toward marriage equality. If it weren't there, if it weren't seen, it's out of sight, out of mind. The pair also recognize the advantages of fighting a Supreme Court case remotely from Toronto. They don't have to deal with backlash from the community, as a local couple would.

In Loving Colour: even in diverse Toronto, the pressure's on five interracial couples

Just look at e. Its the UK, its gonna happen man. Only fing we can do, is encourage the non-sikh to adopt sikhi n bring kids up as sikhs. Otherwise, i dont mind interRACE marriages, infact i say do it! We aren't blessed for our genetics, more related to the Middle Easterner invaders than the original Punjabis in that regard , we are blessed for knowing Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji and the grace of Vaheguru. If they aren't already Sikhs than convert them and tell them that their children should be raised with Gurmat. The time they convert the closer we can get to Khalsa Raj and possibly have some diversity in our Gurdwaras, Non-Sikhs just eat Langar and get-out, so they don't count.

What religion will the kids be raised. This is exactly what happened with many of tye cases I have seen. I know that it happens in other religions. Not sure if anyone has heard of her before. Her name is Meena and from west london went to roehampton. Sounds like she probably got disowned.

Kal taaran guru nanak aaiya, guru sahib came to liberate the world not just punjabis. Race has never been an issue.

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A person can be any race and be a Sikh. Rather I have noticed many kids born in Sikh families have outright rejected Sikhi and only do an Anand Karaj because their parents want it or what will the relatives say or because the Gurdwara looks fancy and getting dressed up will be fun. Your stating the obvious mate.

This is usually christianity. These type of Sikh women and men will be the downfall of the faith mark my words. You may see this rarely now but if action will not take place it will become the norm. You started the issue titling it "Interracial marriages", not "Interfaith", and also since our religion is better; it's obvious that the Non-Sikh spouse would convert, even that Pakhandi Baba Jesus and Muhammad went to Harnaam Singh and asked for his blessings; not the other way around, that is just how much greater our Panth is that even these Pakhandi Babas have found out.

Jesus and Muhammad went to seek blessings from a Sikh when Sikhism wasnt even around? And don't throw insults around if you can't handle them thrown back at you.