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For years now, genre movies have eagerly played into our collective unease with the tech that surrounds us. In spy movies like the Bourne series, the specter of hour digital surveillance evokes our feelings of paranoia and dread. In popcorn science-fiction films like the Terminator series and the art-house sci-fi of Ex Machina and, seminally, A Space Odyssey , computers are forever achieving sentience and threatening humanity's very existence. The Paranormal Activity franchise?

Digital cameras that capture you being mysteriously — but most emphatically — killed. But there's one movie genre that's still struggling to incorporate the everyday tech of contemporary life into the stories it tells: Which is notable — and very, very odd — because online dating whether through sites like Match. A University of Chicago study , for example, found that more than one-third of marriages now begin online, and that number is only expected to increase.

So why is Hollywood churning out so many movies where technology leads to painful, terrifying death, but is reluctant to make movies where that same tech leads to love?

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Maybe it's simply a numbers game: But maybe it's something about the nature of the genre. Sarah Wendell, who runs the website Smart Bitches, Trashy Books , which critiques and celebrates romance novels, knows a little something about rom-com story structure. Something's in their way. But when you have them use technology to actively seek out another person, you lower that tension — which is where the comedy comes from. Christine Vachon, whose company, Killer Films, produced movies like Carol and Still Alice , thinks it comes down to the onscreen visuals.

Or rather, the lack of them. I just think that there's some sort of visual language that we haven't quite cracked yet. But even if some future screenwriter figures out how to crack that language, that's only the first step.

Comedian Guy Branum, who's pitched a screenplay or two in his time, says they'd still have to get the script past studio executives, which won't be easy. They all got married in and were rich enough that they didn't need help to find a second wife in Branum writes for Hulu's The Mindy Project , which — like a lot of TV shows — features characters texting and clicking and swiping all the time.

But he's not surprised that film studios are still reluctant to show people using tech in realistic ways. We have to some extent forgotten how to make movies about people. For her part, producer Christine Vachon is a bit more hopeful. She just thinks Hollywood needs some time. That shift she talks about may have already started, but to see it you have to look beyond the rom-com.

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Weirdly enough, it's science fiction that's exploring the space where romance and technology come together — in films like 's Ex Machina and — especially — 's Her. In that film, Joaquin Phoenix plays a lonely guy who installs an artificial intelligence — voiced by Scarlett Johansson— onto his computer.

Spy movies, science fiction movies, horror movies - they've all been playing on our collective unease with technology for a long time. Videos that kill you, cellphones that kill you, Skype that kills you - Hollywood turns out tons of movies where everyday technology leads to terrifying death. NPR's Glen Weldon reports that filmmakers are still struggling with how to bring everyday tech into romantic comedies. Skyler Wang is a Ph. And Megan Murray works for the dating app Zoosk.

And I started out by asking them, what's different about dating today?

I feel like dating's always been hard and it's going to continue to be hard, but the way people meet is different, and that has to affect the relationships we form. I've found people don't approach each other as much in person when you go out to bars. And I think it's so fascinating that, like, you know, friends and I would go out, and before hitting the clubs, you know, they would go on Tinder, right? And I was with friends who, you know, inside these gay bars, they would turn on Grindr and find someone to dance with.

This has turned everything on its head because it used to be it was sort of, like, taboo and strange to go online and find someone, and now it's a little strange to meet someone in person unless you've connected with them online. I mean, is that OK?

I don't think it's, like, good or bad. But I think a lot of times you see people go on these interspace dating sites, or, dating sites that focus more on interest. So I think a lot of the apps are kind of moving towards that. So there's a really nice metaphor.

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So basically people are treating dating like it's shopping. So, like, as if you're trying to look for the next dress or the next handbag or whatever, and you're browsing. Do you ever feel like you're a commodity when you're doing online dating, or feel objectified? And I think because I have, like, data about my own profile sometimes laughter so I can tell if I, like - I have a picture of myself with glasses and books in the background, but the picture of me holding a beer does better. And also, like, you're doing it too.

Like, there is literally a giant red X on someone. And there is something, like, a little gross about saying, like, no, I do not want this person in my life. Well, I'm just so fascinated because both of you share this thing in common that you're both using online dating but also writing about it, thinking about it, which has to shape the experience personally.

Didn't you have Excel spreadsheets of dates and people and So people use lists nowadays to basically get a better sense of who they're attracted to and to really put a very quantitative twist to something that did not used to be like that. I think it's just, it's, you know, why do we wear Fitbits? Like, why are we tracking how many calories that we're eating? It's really new cultural phenomenon, and I think it has basically encroached onto our dating lives, as well.

And, Megan, just listening to that, like, if someone is thinking, wow, technology offers a lot of good things - like, a lot of opportunities to keep track of myself and, you know, find people, but I also don't want to lose the magic of romance and meeting people.

Like, what is your advice on the balance? Yeah, I do think the romance and the magic sneaks in there no matter what. Like, if you really care about someone and you meet them, there's going to be these indefinable moments or something that you realize, or maybe you find out you're both keeping spreadsheets.

Like, there's always going to be some sweet, little thing that comes through. It feels like there's something about dating that it's like it's become something crazy and new and data-driven and you can use all of these new toys, but that there's something central to romance and the magic that everyone wants to make sure to hold onto.

And I think that's what a lot of companies are saying - we're not an online dating service, we're more of an introductory service.

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The dating doesn't happen online. The dating happens in person. So in a way, they're trying to preserve that magic, right? So they're really framing their services as more of a way to just bridge connections, and then you go out into the world and do the real dating. You can find more of our stories online and on the radio all this month. View the discussion thread. What Makes Us Click: View Slideshow 1 of 3. Late December through Valentine's Day is the busiest time of the year for dating apps and sites, according to Match.

Hanna Barczyk for NPR. View Slideshow 2 of 3. View Slideshow 3 of 3. Megan Murray is a senior content strategist for Zoosk, an online dating site and mobile app.

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