First blind dating tips

Survival Tips for Blind Dates

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The best way to describe dating in your 40s? It's more than likely that other people are complicating your quest for a new relationship, particularly if you have grown-up children. And can you be dating when your daughter, who is in her 20s, isn't? That's a whole new dynamic that a lot of parents and children are negotiating. Men may not encounter the same degree of opposition but they may feel that the rules of dating have become more complicated.

Take a lesson from your younger compatriots on the frontline of dating and embrace the internet. And remember you're never too old to use a condom. No doubt you've already made a number of decisions that have led you to this moment — you've said yes to going out with them, so on some level, you've made a judgement about whether you might be a good match.

Perhaps you used a dating website that boasts a complicated algorithm to pick potential partners. You've selected a venue, or your date has, factoring in a number of variables will there be candlelight, seclusion, are you likely to be rushed by the waiters? You've chosen an outfit, no doubt giving some thought to what your clothes say about you.

Will you be a fashionable five minutes late? Have you got your small talk prepared? Have you considered who will pay the bill? If you believe the research, then the decisions you make — even the little ones — all have the potential to increase your chances of getting a second date. Some of the larger dating sites pride themselves on their scientific approach to matchmaking. It seems it's no longer enough to rely on the possibility that you and your date will just "click".

You've got to trust in the science of attraction. But what do we really know about creating chemistry between two people?

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Many studies suggest we've got a greater chance of success if we choose a partner with the same religion, who lives close to us, with roughly the same attitude to money, bringing up children and politics. Then there are the physical factors that influence attractiveness — we tend to select a partner who we judge to be as good-looking as we see ourselves. Beyond that, it all gets a little silly — and sexist.

How To Charm Her Pants Off On A First Date

Researchers at the University of Westminster found that when men were hungry, they were more likely to be attracted to women with higher BMIs. A separate study revealed that women consistently rated the same man more attractive when he was pictured behind the wheel of a Bentley convertible, rather than a Ford Fiesta.

Choose your gear wisely.

No doubt you've heard that wearing red is meant to signal sexual availability, but did you know that having a facial scar can enhance a man's attractiveness? Oh, and researchers in Texas believe that "a positive correlation of function-word [personal pronouns, articles and conjunctions] similarity" signals the likelihood of a good match.

Alligator wrestling, or swimming with sharks, probably aren't the best ideas for a first date, but apparently people tend to find high-risk behaviours more attractive. However, this only applies when the activities remind us of our hunter-gatherer ancestry. So driving without a seatbelt or not bothering to update antivirus software doesn't count. This is all great trivia, but unlikely to have much bearing on your real experiences of dating unless you're going on some very unusual dates. It's also worth remembering that studies such as the ones above are, more often than not, based on a sample of volunteer students in the psychology department.

Some of the principles identified in heterosexual research may carry across, but until more research is done we won't know for sure. But what about the more established "facts" about dating — the ones we've all heard of make lots of eye contact, laugh at their jokes? Are they worth paying attention to? But crucially, this is when you perform these behaviours in a natural way without too much conscious effort. Once you start deliberately mimicking the other person, forcing your laughter, and carefully planning an arm touch, the chances are that you'll end up seeming odd. So, perhaps not then.

But still, there's something very seductive about the idea that we may be able to change our fate with the right choice of outfit or a well-timed joke. And then if it all goes wrong, we can blame the experts, rather than ourselves. So, nearly dates later, what can we glean from the experiences of the Guardian's Blind Daters?

Not one, not two, but three dates were derailed by bits of flying lobster, so it's best to play safe and avoid altogether. If we sent you to a seafood restaurant, we're very sorry. And if your date has just told you she's allergic to shellfish, it's probably best not to order the prawns and the crab, Archie. You might think you're on safe ground with a fellow Guardian reader, but you'd be wrong.

So what can you talk about? Perhaps just remember to ask your date one or two polite questions, rather than launch into a monologue about your childhood.

Survival Tips for Blind Dates - The Everygirl

A cup of tea is a euphemism for "I do not want to see this person again, but I am too polite to say so. Think about your compliments. Followed by 'don't worry, I love my sister'," said Andrew. Unsurprisingly, Catherine wasn't all that sure she wanted to see him again. Serving staff are the enemy. Not really, your waiter or waitress is probably very nice but you may be in competition with them for your date's affections. Your date is not the enemy. Avoid saying anything negative on a first date. Even if your complaints are justified, you run the risk of coming off as pessimistic and whiny. It can make you look self-centered and status-obsessed.

Instead of asking questions with yes or no answers, ask questions that require a more involved answer. The questions you ask should require at least one complete sentence to answer.

Ask questions that are personal, but not intrusive or upsetting. Asking "What was the worst day of your life?

Top 10 Blind Date Tips

Instead, ask something like "How did you get interested in wine tasting? If you simply ask a long list of unrelated questions, your date will feel like they're being interrogated. If your date mentioned that the movie you saw is by their favorite director, ask "Who do you think should have won at the Oscars last year? Tell a funny anecdote. Making your date laugh is a great way to make sure you see them again!

Think of stories that your friends have told, or even ones you saw on television. Keep your anecdote lighthearted. Avoid telling stories about people being injured, humiliated, or frightened. Let your date talk. If your date asks you a question, answer it fully, in complete sentences.

Listen to them carefully. Listening is just as important as talking on a date. When your date is speaking, pay close attention to what they are saying. For example, if your date just told you about how much they love animals, ask them if they volunteer at the local shelter. Let your body language show that you're listening.

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