Contents:
Doing so may give him the courage to come over.
Even the most outgoing guys can be overwhelmed when you're constantly surrounded by a group of friends. Take the pressure off by stepping away from your pals to chat him up. If your friends are around, ask them to meet you later so you can talk in private. Then walk up to your shy guy with a huge smile and say "Hi. Ask open-ended questions to keep conversations going.
Greeting one another and making small talk will only get you so far with a shy guy. Suggest low-key activities to warm up to one another. Once you and Mr. Shy get on friendly terms, suggest a time for you to hang out together. Chat side-by-side rather than face-to-face. Guys in general are more receptive during shoulder-to-shoulder activities as opposed to head-on ones.
Try to reduce the pressure and help him get comfortable with you by talking and doing activities side-by-side. Connect through shared interests. Use these interests to deepen conversations or bring excitement to your time together. You're more likely to win him over if the interest is genuinely mutual.
Invite him out to a no-pressure small gathering.
Maybe ask him to come with you and friends to a concert or a festival happening in your city. Up the stakes by hanging out one-on-one. After you've gotten to know one another, initiate plans for a real date. Plan the date around your personalities, so you both feel comfortable. If he's not the mushy type, resist the urge to plan a romantic candlelight dinner. Instead, go for something light-hearted and casual, so you can both be yourselves.
Get comfortable with some silence. At first, you might be unnerved by the many silences that come with dating a shy guy. Give him space as needed. If your boyfriend is shy or introverted, he may need time alone to recharge. Don't take this personally—it's nothing against you. Just establish a way for him to let you know when he needs a little space. Or, he might grow quiet and withdrawn. If this happens, you might ask, "Why don't I go in the other room and give you some space? Call ya later, okay? Allow him time to warm to your friends.
Avoid situations in which your friends "grill" him with questions.
This might make him retreat back into his shell. Also, ask him in advance if he's okay hanging out with a group of your pals. Don't draw attention to his shyness. You might think it's cute when your crush acts shy or blushes, but he may be mortified inside. Avoid calling out his shyness, whether in a group or when you're alone. Just overlook it and act like whatever he's doing is totally normal.
Plan to take the lead with intimacy. One of the tough things about dating a shy guy is having to initiate intimacy. Hugs, kisses, and other forms of affection will likely have to be prompted by you in order for them to happen.
Your guy may be too shy to make the first move. Dating a shy guy might feel agonizing. You might constantly wonder if you're on the right track. You might also get frustrated when it takes him longer to open up. With time many anxious guys can slowly face their fears and gain enough experience with the opposite sex that they're not as held back by their anxiety as they used to be. They can start dating like everyone else. However, they may always have a tougher time of it than some men.
They're often late bloomers, since their nerves and general social awkwardness kept them from getting into the game as early as everyone else. It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life" to make interesting conversation.
Click here to go to the free training. When a guy is shy and not confident about women insecure thoughts often flow through their heads in an effortless stream; "I'm hopeless. I'll never get better.
I suck with women. I'm not good looking enough. There's no way that girl at work actually likes me.
To help the shy guy you're dating feel more relaxed in your presence, follow these seven tips. Dating a shy and introverted guy can be challenging because a girl will need to This will help in removing the nervous energy and reduce the.
I totally screwed up with her the other day when I made that dumb joke. It's all quite self-sabotaging. First, a lack of confidence isn't all that attractive. Next, they can be hyper-alert for any signs of rejection, and almost eager to conclude the worst. For example, if they're casually chatting to a girl and she mentions a TV show that he doesn't like, he may get deflated and think, "Ah man, she likes that show? There's no way she'll be into me now. Dammit, another prospect hasn't panned out. Story of my life. I'll never meet anyone. A lot of what I've mentioned so far hints at this.
It's hard to explain, but almost unconsciously shy guys can have the attitude that in order to get a girlfriend the world has to send them one packaged in such a way that they won't feel anxious or have to do anything that pushes them out of their comfort zone.
They figure everything will finally work out one day when they stumble into a girl who naturally likes them, who they won't have to take the initiative to talk to, who they won't have to ask out, and who has the magic combination of qualities which ensures they never feel nervous around her. It's also really common for shyer guys to fantasize about meeting a really forward, aggressive woman who makes all the scary moves for them.
She asks him out, she kisses him first, etc. However, if a guy is really shy he may still balk in the face of someone so direct, and still blow his chance. The idea that if they want a girlfriend they'll have to actively work on finding one, or that they'll have to learn to cope with their nervousness , isn't on the map. Nope, they just have to meet the perfect girl under the perfect circumstances, where they'll essentially be guided along by rails the whole way with no room to screw up.
They have thoughts such as: Maybe in next semester's classes I'll randomly end up sitting beside the person of my dreams", or "Maybe at my job the girl I like will be assigned to work on a project with me all day", or "Maybe this time when I go to the bar and just stand around all night a girl will walk up to me and seduce me. When a guy is shy and inexperienced with women he usually isn't immersed in female company or the dating and hook up scene. They may also be socially inexperienced or isolated in general, because they like to keep to themselves, or since they don't have a ton of friends.
That means they get their ideas of what dating and girlfriends and relationships are like from sources such as movies, television, magazines, the internet, and snippets of conversation they've heard from other people. Shy guys often develop a caricatured, romanticized view of relationships, because they've seen too many romantic comedies or high school dramas with Hollywood endings. According to their 'education' the beautiful cheerleader always wants a caring, sensitive guy who likes her for her. The female lead wants a nice guy to save her from the all the jerks she normally attracts.
Women are sweet, innocent creatures that needed to be nurtured. Shy guys have a blind spot for the reality that some girls might get drunk and make out with a hot guy just for the hell of it, or that they could have a friend-with-benefits, or that they would want to casually date a few people at once, or that they could go home with someone they met that night at a party. This can make shy guys a bit clueless about dating protocol. People in a guy's age group may not even really 'date' at all, but he wouldn't know it because that's what people do in the movies and on TV.
They may wonder things like: Continuing on the theme of having an over-romanticized view of dating: When a shy, inexperienced guy finds a girl he likes, his thoughts often aren't, "She seems neat, maybe we can hang out a few times and see where it goes. She's my dream girl. I just want to cuddle her by the ocean for hours as we watch the shooting stars above.
Then we'll make sweet loving love The girl they've just noticed in class could be their lifelong soul mate. Boy, better not screw that one up. Since they don't try to create their own options or prospects, whenever a half-decent girl comes into the life of a shy guy through school, work, or his social circle, his mind immediately leaps to, "Could this be the one??? Is this the girl who I'll end my streak of loneliness with?
They'll quickly get infatuated and preoccupied, constantly thinking if it's going to all work out with her.