Contents:
And unsuccessfully trying to catch up. We all have values that direct us and help us make decisions — problem is most of us have never articulated what those values are. Not all values are the same and sometimes you can have two very good people with very good values, but those values can feel at war with each other. Both values are good, but if not articulated and discussed it could be a point of high conflict if the responsible person likes consistency and persistence, while the risk-taker likes changing things up and going for the impossible.
Take me for example, one of my core values is authenticity. I struggle being in a job, friendship, situations, etc.
Thus my career path has been anything but straight-forward, which could drive any sane person crazy. Thankfully, my wife has been very supportive because she knew this was the way I was wired from the beginning and it aligns with her core beliefs, as she enjoys change and pursuing things off the beaten path. Are you fitting and conforming to some abstract idea of what you think they want? Or are you blossoming and flourishing into who you really are? Is your partner trying to force you to become like some figment of their unrealistic dating imagination?
Or are they challenging you to become a better, authentic you? Not trying to change you, but trying to bring the best to the top.
However, for many of us our fallback communication plan will be the one our parents laid out for us. Holidays, especially, are giving you a glimpse into how your partner has been taught and trained. Your partner can look and smell like a rose, and yet continue to prick you with their sharpened barbs.
Does your partner seek out ways to understand how you receive love and meet that need? Do you do the same? When someone loves from their strengths they know who they are and are drawing from a deep, full well to give to you without demanding a drink in return.
Honestly, going into marriage with my wife I really struggled talking about money. I let money and the honest conversations about it become a wedge in my relationship. Conversations about money can be the great time bomb in a relationship. When you think about your future together, can you list three things that you think would be excruciating to let go?
What is your favorite book? Whatever the reason it may be, this helps you to kind of see what helps that make big decisions. On average, how many hashtags do you include on an Instagram photo? One of the biggest lies of our culture is that attraction is solely about appearance. What is on your bucket list?
Identify what you feel are non-negotiables now so you can avoid any large, gaping ravines ahead. Does religious faith play a role in your present and do you want faith to play a role in your future? What do you truly believe about how to live your life and what happens when you die? Weighty questions, I know, but important ones.
I really believe that if there are large differences in your faith now, those will only become bigger and more cumbersome as your relationship progresses. Especially when kids come into the equation. How will you raise them? What is something you are financially saving up for currently?
Where is your happy space? What is your favorite article of clothing you own? Do you have any specialty cooking dishes? What is one job you could never do? When is your birthday?
What is in your fridge right now? What are you worse at than 90 percent of the population?
Do you believe in aliens? Have you ever been out of the country? What fact about you surprises people the most? What do you do for a living?
If you could live in any other U. What was your favorite family vacation growing up? Are you a big fan of any major pro sports team? What was your favorite subject in school? If you could travel back to any one point in time what would it be? What is the proudest moment or greatest achievement of your life so far? If you could be any animal, what would you be?
We love our partners, and we want to know everything about them (yes, Here are some fun questions to ask the person you're dating. Perfect. Let me tell you a little secret. Once upon a time, people actually met in real life to date. I know, what an odd and foreign concept Dating apps.
Salty snacks or desserts? What is a family tradition your family has? What do you think is the most important life lesson for someone to learn? What was your favorite toy growing up? Who was your favorite teacher or professor? What do you like the most about insert city of residence? What is the craziest scene or event you have ever witnessed? What is your biggest pet peeve?
What was the last book you read? When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up? What was something that recently moved you? What skill or talent do you wish you had or were better at? If you could have a superpower what would you want it to be? What are you passionate about? What is your favorite movie? Are you a cat person, a dog person, both or neither? What do you think is your greatest strength?
If you had to be a vegetable, which vegetable would you least like to be? What was the last dream you had? If you could start a band, what kind would it be and would you name it? Were Ross and Rachel on a break? What was the first album you bought, and why did you buy it?
Where do you see yourself? What is your favorite mistake?
Who do you look up to of the same sex? Who is your role model of the opposite sex? What are you doing? What is your favorite book? What is your guilty pleasure song? If you could choose a decade to grow up in, which would you choose? What was your first concert? What would your superpower be? And your superhero name? If you could live in any city, which would you choose? Could you spend a day without your phone? What about a week? The Rolling Stones or the Beatles? If you could be a type of beer, which would you be? What is the last book you read? Did you like it? If you could have any talent, which would you have?
What was your AIM screenname? Why did you choose it? Would you like to go out again next week?