Dating an introvert when youre an extrovert

6 Ways To Successfully Date An Introvert When You’re Clearly An Extrovert (Yes, It’s Possible)

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After a long day, an introvert may not want to talk at all, while an extrovert will enjoy discussing the details of their own day. During a fight, the extrovert will prefer to "think out loud" and seek reassurance by hearing their partner's thoughts, while the introvert will think through their opinions before speaking. So couples must also navigate being with someone who doesn't talk through problems in the same way.

Jordi said her boyfriend can tell when she's upset but she often isn't ready to talk about it, even though his natural instinct is to start talking it through instantly. He tells me to not think about it, just to tell him, otherwise thoughts of what could be upsetting me swirl around in his head and he freaks out. Which is, again, where the need for communication comes in.

These Introverts and Extroverts Sound Off on the Struggles They Face Dating One Another

A talkative extrovert may be reassured with a simple cue that the introvert heard what they said and is thinking about it; an introvert may need to understand that the extrovert is just trying to facilitate communication, not dominate the conversation, Helgoe said. Why "mixed" couples might have the advantage: Helgoe admitted that, yes, "mixed" relationships between introverts and extroverts can be difficult.

But they also experience greater opportunities for growth and better skills in negotiating and compromising. An introvert encourages an extrovert to pay attention to their inner life, while an extrovert pulls an introvert out of their shell.

That's certainly true for Sarah, 35, and her husband Cullen, If Sarah were married to a fellow introvert, she fully expects that she'd be ordering her groceries on Amazon so she never had to leave the house. Cullen helps her put herself out there — not always an easy thing for introverts to do, even when they get lonely, she said. At the same time, Sarah teaches Cullen the benefits of an introverted mindset, where solitude is relaxing and you don't need to party in order to have a good time.

I needed activity to feel 'a part' of the world around me. She's shown me that just simply isn't necessary," Cullen told Mic. At the end of the day, introverts and extroverts can live in harmony.

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They just need to negotiate exactly how much time they'll spend at that party on Saturday night. They may seem distant, aloof, or distracted, but this is because they are trying to cope with external stimuli, rather than being able to focus solely on you. Chances are, they will take the opportunity to recharge, and you will both have a better time because of it. Actively engage an introvert in a group discussion.

Introverts tend to space out, or disengage in group discussions or functions. Try asking them a question directly, to bring them back into the group.

They will appreciate your directness, and the thought that you want them to feel included. Avoid questions with "yes" or "no" answers. Try to get the person to open up a little with questions that begin: Pay attention to their facial expressions and body language.

Dating as an introvert reddit

Introverts will not always say what they are thinking. A small, forced smile may be a sign to back off. If their arms are folded across their chest, they may not be in the mood to talk to anyone.

If they adjust their posture or position to mirror yours, it means that they are focused on you and feeling engaged. Introverts tend to dislike being the center of attention, and over-complimenting someone draws a lot of attention to their body and personality. So, take it easy and say what feels natural, rather than overwhelming your date with forced, expected, or stock compliments. Talk with depth as well as breadth. Introverts hate small talk, and will react much more positively to a conversation that has some depth or personal connection to you.

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Already answered Not a question Bad question Other. Tips Be friendly, but not forceful. If you are afraid that you are making someone uncomfortable, just ask, "Am I making you uncomfortable?

Tell me if I am, and I promise I won't be offended. These things do not necessarily indicate that anything is wrong, like it may for extroverts. Remember that introverts are great listeners and will pay attention to what you say and do. Really hear what the other person needs. If you work on these issues early in your relationship and tell the truth instead of blindsiding your partner with a deluge after a string of resentments, listening and hearing will be easier.

These Introverts and Extroverts Sound Off on the Struggles They Face Dating One Another

The acknowledgment of who your partner is and what they need will go a long way toward helping you come to a mutual solution. Go to the wedding together on Saturday, whether you really want to or not. This might mean finding your favorite introvert friend during the reception and sitting with him or her. But the next day, say no to the Superbowl party. The compromise comes in doing the extroverted activity one day, the introverted activity the next. A co-worker of mine and his wife do this often. The husband is much more outgoing than the wife, so she joins him in after-work gatherings about once every three times.

We may have even done it often enough that we realize how futile that is. In truth, one of the things you like best about your extrovert partner is that she is fun and easy-going. Trying to impose a new temperament on someone is like pressuring them to have blue eyes instead of brown.

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