My son is dating a transgender

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A third reason that I often bring up around people is again related to other people's perceptions of our gender. Society often, or partly, shapes us in some form - how much it does that depends on the environment of course. It could be that it was only acceptable for her to act girlish, or it may simply be that while she doesn't mind acknowledging her feminine beauty for now, it still doesn't feel 'right' to her.

I don't know about the details, though. I don't believe many transmen are too thrilled with the thought of being pregnant either, but there are quite a few men who have had children for one reason or another!

Transgender Forum

You can kind of try to put it into perspective by comparing a butchy lesbian woman with a straight man. They both like women, they have short hair, may appreciate the dominant role in the relationship, etc.. In the case of your son's partner, being female bothers her a lot, clearly!

She wants facial hair, wants short hair and men's clothing, a male title etc.. What she truly desires above all else is to be treated as male. If he's really straight and expects the relationship to continue, then I'd say yes. If he's secretly bisexual or curious, who knows. It could also be that he has already accepted the possibility of the relationship not working out in the long run, but perhaps for now he just wants to be a good friend and support his partner through a believe me..

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If she really doesn't want to be a her, then it's time to do the opposite of what I've been doing throughout this post; your son's partner is a him - a boy, a young man who will slowly develop all the features he should have developed in puberty. I will say this; we've all had to endure some harsh insults, but for me there is nothing more painful and heartbreaking than to be called a 'him' by a loved one who knows you are actually female at heart. If someone addresses me as male at juuuuust the wrong time, it can completely ruin my day.

Therefore, out of respect for a fellow human being who was unfortunate enough to be born different, I really encourage you to start treating 'her' like a boy: Also milk goes well with oreo cookies. She was a pretty awesome chick. As for treating xerious as a man, that's hard to do when "he" is constantly snuggling and cooing with my very male son who you are right is definitely straight, but curious and acting just like all the other young women that my son has dated over the years.

And sadly, that might include where in xerious's life my son ends up. I think part of the clothing confusion here is that so many clothes could be worn by men OR women and that is how xerious dresses; more neutral than femme or masculine. But side by side with me, excepting for the haircut, you would not probably think one of us terribly more masculine or feminine than the other. As a mother and a prospective grandmother, I have my concerns. I did find a trans man with babies on the internet and it was, er, odd to say the least.

He has expressed to me that he is cool with it easy to say now but once xerious is growing facial hair and no longer cooing and cuddling???? I think my son is going to get hurt. Who is online Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests. And you did beautifully mom. This…is exactly how hard conversations should go. Child-led, with reassurance, and honest information. I lovvvvve that you introduced the term pansexual, and I think its perfect for this situation and the point you were trying to make to Chase.

He really does really really really have a good heart. If only all kids could be so fair when it comes to relationships friends or dating. My son has just started noticing boobs. Guess I need to go sign up to follow along. It is too bad that we have become so accustomed to thinking in terms of categories.

Another amazing post from an equally amazing mom…. How wonderful that Chase knows he can come to you with any sort of question at all. I remember feeling super embarrassed as a kid if I thought my parents were looking at me as we talked. When I became a teacher, my wonderful mentor told me about the importance of letting kids talk without forcing eye contact. We used to invite kids to look out the window with us if they needed to share or ask something — I had some really good conversations shoulder to shoulder by the window with my students.

I echo the other sentiments here. What an amazing family.

Such honest questions and answers only come forth in an environment where everyone feels safe, accepted and loved. I can only hope that my children feel as comfortable coming to me with these hard questions as your children are going to you. Well, comfortable may not be quite the right word, but at least they know they can address anything with you, no matter how awkward it might feel.

As a trans woman I have a different way of looking at it then your scenario presents. From as long as I can remember I was told that I was a boy. Not knowing any better I believed them. Later on in life after much pain and failed attempts to conform to the gender I was told I was I finally figured out and accepted that I was actually a girl and had been all my life. So before this realization and the start of my transition I was still a lesbian. Some even dated men, got married, etc because they wanted to fit that box they had been forced into and believed. This means they were lesbians then as well.

As for categories I think we all have those for people we date be they more shallow or very deep but there certainly is a biological element to it as well that we do not have control over. Self determination is really important in these things as well as not having shame shoved down your throat for not being attracted or being attracted to others for reasons outside of your control.

Actually I was a little surprised that you considered dating a MTF transgender person who is identifying as a female still as a boy resulting in bisexual. I would think a Male your son dating a transgender female would be considered a straight relationship.

In any case wonderful blog you have taught my family so much. Do I have to be bisexual if I date you? I think your first instinct is right — if your son date a trans girl, that relationship is straight. And that does not feel good. He and the world are better for it. Thank you, Lori and Matt. Laurie, all I can say is awesome. All you have taught and are passionate about with CJ, has spilled over to Chase as well. He might be following in his Mothers footsteps and one day might see a book written by Chase Duron. If Leelah had a parent like you, the community would have lost one less youth, regardless of orientation.

Thanks for being you, Lori. I second this comment.

Life, Off Script

Your kid is You did an amazing job with the conversation. Pansexual means attraction to all genders.

Most people, regardless of sexual orientation, do. I am occasionally not often mistaken for one, but androgynous cisgender deal with that too. I was assigned female at birth, my parents thought I was a girl. A lot of pansexuals spread the myth that only they are attracted to transgender people. What a gem he is! My son STILL likes to have deep and meaningful conversations while he is sitting on the toilet and I am sitting on the floor outside the bathroom — and he just turned 21! Your family is so amazing.

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