Askreddit dating and relationships
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No doubt about it, sharing our emotions with our boyfriend is an important part of being in a relationship. We might even consider it the most important part. When we think about it, if we can't talk about how we feel, whether we're telling our partner how much he means to us or venting after a long day, then it's kind of weird.
It doesn't seem like we should be together and we don't seem like the best fit for each other. Guys have a reputation for not wanting to talk about feelings and we might wonder if they find that totally intimidating.
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As this guy said on Reddit , falling for a girl and having true feelings for her is intimidating. No one wants to enter a relationship assuming that it'll fail and we'll be single once again, and it's always worth being with someone and taking the risk. But it makes sense that some guys worry about opening up their hearts and having them broken and they might not even want to begin a relationship with someone because of that.
Being single doesn't mean that we have boring lives and nothing to do. It can definitely mean the total opposite.
Maybe we do enjoy hanging out at home a lot and watching TV or movies, but we have friendships that we keep up, we have families, and we have careers. We also have hobbies and interests and are cool, interesting people. We don't happen to have a boyfriend right now, but who cares?! We can still be happy and have fun.
It's not necessarily a bad thing, but basically, you might be coming off as too self-sufficient. We might wonder if having a full life and being independent intimidates guys. This might be something that is particularly on our minds if we go on date after date and don't seem to be getting anywhere. And we know that we're pretty awesome, so it can't be us. Well, as this guy's Reddit post tells us, some guys wonder if we're too busy or have too much going on to be able to really date them. The thing is that might be true for some women who don't even want a boyfriend, but others want to find love and would absolutely change up their schedules for the right guy.
By now we might be sick and tired of hearing that guys don't want to commit. We might not really believe this since even if we're single, we might have guy friends with girlfriends or best friends with boyfriends or a brother who is married. Basically, we definitely know guys who are in committed relationships. Do guys find women who want commitment intimidating? We would hate for the answer to be yes because that's just plain depressing, but according to this guy's Reddit post, that seems to be the case for at least him. And if he feels that way, it seems safe to assume that other guys share his feelings.
Some guys just seem to be afraid of being someone's boyfriend. Maybe they don't want the responsibility, or they wonder if they can handle it, or they want to focus on other things. They might be thinking too far ahead and figuring that being a boyfriend means being only a short time away from being a husband and they don't know if they're ready for marriage.
We can probably all agree that this involves way too much overthinking, but both guys and girls tend to do that when it comes to dating. Sometimes it's impossible not to judge someone. Even if we want to be the nicest people ever, we can't help but make comparisons and judgment calls.
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It might not be that sweet to think that a friend's new haircut isn't the most flattering thing ever, just like it's not nice to look down on someone for having a certain job. But if a friend does something cruel to another friend, we can absolutely judge them and think that was the wrong choice to make. So why would guys be intimidated by a woman? Could it have something to do with her being judgemental but the bad kind? Some are intimidating because they're demeaning and judgmental, others are confident and secure with who they are. The former is bad, the latter is good.
Well, at least this guy's Reddit post tells us that sometimes being intimidating can be a positive thing.
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If a woman is confident, then that's intimidating but it doesn't seem like it would scare him away or make him not want to date her. If she's mean and judges people, that would still be intimidating but he wouldn't be interested, and, well, we can agree that's not great. Even though we might think that tall girls and shorter girls have nothing in common since those are two different things, they both might worry if they're, well, too tall or too short.
And they'll probably hear about it from other kids when they're growing up and in school or maybe from people that they're dating, which definitely sucks. People should be a lot nicer. Being confident in her looks, knows she turns heads but it is silent about it; assertive in a way. I like the brunette-serious eyebrows and glasses kind of look. This guy's Reddit post tells us that some guys are intimidated by tall girls, which we might not think makes that much sense. We can't do much about how tall or short we are okay, we can't do anything , so this seems kind of unfair.
But we can't win them all and impress everyone. Not every guy is going to like us and thinks that we're girlfriend material, just like not every guy will be boyfriend material in our eyes, and that's okay. Do we find handsome men intimidating? Most of us would say of course. After all, if we met a movie star like Ryan Gosling or George Clooney, aka famous actors that most women consider to be super hot, we might forget our own names and not know what to say. It's a totally normal experience.
If we meet a cute guy at a party, we might have trouble talking to him at first, at least until we get to know him a bit better and feel more comfortable. This guy's Reddit post proves that he finds good-looking girls to be intimidating. We might have met a lot of guys and found that nothing was happening and didn't know why, and maybe they were intimidated by the way that we look.
Sure, that might sound kind of conceited, but it doesn't have to be like that. We should definitely have high self-esteem and feel good about ourselves. It would be awesome if guys realized that not every pretty girl is mean, but Hollywood does tend to perpetuate that idea sometimes, so we do kind of understand. Just like hot guys can be really mean, so can hot girls, but they can also be total sweethearts.
Confidence is one of those things that we either have or we don't. We can fake it up until a certain point. We can go on a few dates with a guy and pretend to be super cool and chill and have high self-esteem We might wonder how he could possibly want us to be his girlfriend when he seems so perfect and we're just not.
That's totally the wrong way to go because having confidence is a really important thing, not only in dating but in life in general. We deserve to like ourselves and there's nothing wrong with that. But if they're cocky and confident.
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Do guys get intimidated by girls who have lots of confidence? We might have thought that the answer was probably yes, and now that we've seen this guy's Reddit post, we know that is absolutely true. If we're not confident, we might get intimidated by confident guys, so really, this works both ways and we can all relate to this feeling. We might only think about dating from our perspective, and yet dating as a guy must be tough. Guys are supposed to "make the first move" and always be confident and have no emotions.
We tend not to think that they want to be in a serious, committed, long-term relationship and we make all of these assumptions about them.
Maybe some guys are intimidated by the dating scene in general, and that's the case for this guy, at least according to his Reddit post. For example, feeling the pressure to make all the moves and make them perfectly, not being able to be yourself, knowing that she holds all the cards, stuff like that.
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It would be awesome if more girls would ask guys out and if we could stop believing in these "social conventions of dating" and "gender roles" that this guy points out. That stuff can definitely be intimidating and, honestly, we feel that way, too. Money and intelligence seem to be a big part of relationships. If we're smart people and of course we are , then we want an equally intelligent boyfriend.