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It is advisable to answer every question as honestly and fully as possible to reassure them about your new relationship. If you try to hide or lie about something, your parents may become suspicious and anxious. If your boyfriend has a good relationship with his family, make sure your parents know.
This trait is a major plus for many parents because it lets them know that this new guy in your life knows how to value others and can appreciate the tight ties of family. Don't try to hide it. One of the most important things to do if you want your parents to accept your boyfriend is to be the one to tell them about your relationship. If they find out about your relationship from someone else, they may assume that you were trying to hide it because you felt you were doing something wrong.
As a general rule, the sooner you own up to the relationship, the better. Avoiding the conversation will only make it harder to have eventually and will increase the odds that your parents may find out from another source. Once you get older and have already moved out of the house, you do not necessarily need to bring up every date or every boyfriend you have. Wait until a guy comes along that you can exclusively and seriously commit to before getting everyone worked up. Wait on the negatives. If you know something about your boyfriend is going to bother your parents, don't start out the conversation with that.
Instead, wait until the middle or end of the conversation to talk about it. For instance, if your boyfriend is older than you, you might want to hold off on that bit of news until near the end of the conversation. Understand your parents may be upset. If you're going against your parents expectations of you, they are probably going to be upset. You're just going to have to deal with their anger and even tears, until you can get them to see reason. It may take a little while for your parents to get used to the idea. If they get upset while you are talking to them and tell you "no," they might change their minds later when they've cooled down a bit.
Either way, you need to respect the fact that you still need to have a relationship with them, meaning you can't just write them off as evil because they told you no. Wait until the time is right. This kind of discussion is a difficult one, especially if you aren't sure how your parents will react. Wait until you feel comfortable having the discussion. It can be hard if you're questioning your sexuality, as your parents may try to convince you're actually not gay. You can have feelings for another guy now, yet decide later that you prefer women.
Sexuality can change over time.
Do a practice run. While coming out to anybody is difficult, try coming out to someone who you know is sympathetic first. For instance, if you have a gay friend or know someone who is a gay ally, talk to him or her about your sexuality before addressing it with your parents. It's very hard to say the first time, so trying it out on someone else first can make it slightly easier on you when you do go to your parents.
Plus, the person may be able to give you some tips if he or she is gay. Just be sure you completely trust the person first. Present them with the facts.
If you need to convince your parents, try presenting them with facts about homosexuality. Many parents need time to adjust to this announcement. Because most parents expect their kids to be straight, they have to change their own thinking about who you are. Let them know it's okay to take time to adjust. I know I did. Understand when it's not a good idea. If you know your parents will react very badly because of their beliefs, you may want to rethink coming out to your parents.
That is, if you think your parents may kick you out or even be physically violent with you, it's best to wait until you are able to support yourself. Plan where you will go if things get heated, and know who you can turn to for emotional support. Listen to their concerns. Love can blind us.
Your parents might be overreacting to the fact that you have a boyfriend. On the other hand, they probably have some legitimate concerns that you should take into consideration. Maybe a trait of his makes them feel anxious, and that anxiety could very well have validity and be something you should think more deeply about.
Even if the reasons they give do not seem significant, listening to their doubts and fears will give you an idea of what you need to do to convince them that the relationship is okay after all. Good parents take the job of protecting their children very seriously, so it is only natural that they may have to struggle to accept the fact that you are growing up. Try having a little compassion for them. No matter how the conversation goes, you should treat your parents with respect. If you can disagree with them about something in a respectful way, your parents are likely to feel less upset and may eventually be persuaded to change their minds.
Determine whether or not to keep the relationship going. Figure out how much the relationship with your boyfriend means to you and how drastically your relationship with your parents might be strained if you continue dating. Weigh the pros and cons of all sides to reach a conclusion about what to do.
Yes, of course you love your boyfriend, but your parents will be your parents for life. If you are unwilling to stop seeing your boyfriend, keep bringing the topic up to your parents.
The more you talk things through, the better both sides will be able to understand each other. You may even get your parents to relent. The more time they spend with him, the more accurate their perception of him will be. If he really is a good guy, they might eventually drop their guard long enough to see that. It's a good idea to arrange a casual meeting before you tell your parents about your relationship. For example, your boyfriend could attend a group hangout in your home with other friends.
This allows your parents to become familiar with him. And if you really like each other, you'll probably be seeing each other more often anyway. After all, if someone isn't making the time to get to know you properly, they're probably not all that interested. If you think they do, then you're in the right frame of mind to approach the exclusivity conversation. If you're not sure, then you should probably work out why that is before you start thinking of settling down. You can also introduce them to your friends and see how they react.
Your friends will be able to pick up on how they act around you, and whether they flinch when you call them your boyfriend or girlfriend. They'll have more of an objective perspective, because you'll probably be wearing the rose-tinted spectacles of a new romance. As a rough rule, two months should be a safe amount of time to broach the subject.
But every relationship is different, so if it feels right earlier, go for it. If it doesn't feel right at that stage, there are a few steps you can take to build yourself up for the conversation.
You have successfully emailed the post. Finding out all about them — an outsider might think it sounds like equal parts inane small talk and the kind of interrogation chamber reserved exclusively for terrorists, but you genuinely want to find out what their favorite color is, what movie changed their life when they were a kid, their favorite school subject, what their hopes and dreams are, and everything in between.
Maybe stop after the second, but the first will always be unequivocally cute, so go ahead and post it.
The pressure is excruciating, but the feeling of satisfaction you get when you know their best friend approves of you is a great, great seal of approval. The first time you apologize to one another after your first fight, because that makes or breaks so much of how a relationship goes forward. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again. Anyways, 2,3,67,and 8 happened kinda. We have the same interests, we are both competitive, and we are comfortable I front of each other!!!!
If things go really well, they might even be happy for you. Because most parents expect their kids to be straight, they have to change their own thinking about who you are. My boyfriend and I are still dating. Practice by telling someone else first, such as a cousin or sibling. Whatever way, telling your parents that you have a boyfriend can be intimidating, but if you approach the topic the right way, they might be willing to accept the news. A Anonymous Mar 3, And if you really like each other, you'll probably be seeing each other more often anyway.