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But there is one place on the internet that wants to encourage people to not be afraid, a place that truly believes that there is no such thing as a stupid question. And that place is Yahoo Answers, home of the stupid question.
Unfortunately, Yahoo's question asking population quietly descended into madness when no one was looking. After probably having alienated all their loved ones by incessantly humming to them, a surprisingly large number of very optimistic people come to Yahoo Answers to ask the impossible: If only there was a better way to write down music that would make this process incredibly easy.
But, and it beggars belief, this lunatic method can actually work.
Occasionally, two people with the same brain defect meet, solve the unsolvable puzzle, and by the laws of the cosmos must spend their lives together as soulmates. While some of these e-hummers have to be joking, the sheer quantity of questions like these prove that there are people legitimately trying to figure out how to recreate music from random noises like they're in the most underprepared community theater version of The Sound Of Music ever.
And yet that might make this the most beautiful corner of the internet. Because when they solve the madness, it's magical. And even when they don't, it shows the internet at its most helpful and benevolent. If the writers of Season 13 of Supernatural are running low on plot ideas and surely they must be, as there are only so many excuses for Jensen Ackles to take his shirt off , someone should tell them about Yahoo Answers, a place that houses the most secret of arcane lore: At least, that seems to be the opinion of a whole bunch of people scouring the website for these spells.
Not that they all want to transform into horrid creatures of the night, feasting on the blood of whatever gym coach wronged them. Some folks just need help turning into a mermaid. Ironically, others who already are mermaids need help turning into humans. Surely, there's a way to kill two fish people with one stone here?
It can't be harder to find a Freaky Friday incantation than two whole polymorph spells, right? For what is essentially a harmless group of confused people, the site reveals two disheartening trends. The first is that all of these people seem to be very well aware that people are going to make fun of them.
Even most liberal-minded folks have a hard time not openly scoffing at the concept of Otherkin, a group of not? If you believe that spiritually you're an earthworm , follow your bliss and don't mistake the tapping of bird feet for rain. Much more deserving of some mockery are the numerous people who are really into telling these folks why it's not possible to turn into another species.
Seriously, look at the replies below any of those perfectly harmless questions. One person who claims to be a nurse replied with a nearly thousand-word essay explaining to a young girl why she fundamentally can't be a werewolf.
on the second day of my date,i told her, honey really yesterday night i cant sleep at all spent my night awake, she asked why?, i told her my. Oh my gosh. This was SO embarrasing! Ok, I was on a first date with this guy, where we were going to eat dinner at his house, then go see a.
Who precisely do we need to feel sorry for in that situation? Porn is more easily accessible than clean drinking water. No more hiding magazines under a rock in the woods, no more awkward conversations with a cashier, and no more low-res boobs. So why in the tittyshitting hell are people asking other humans for porn on Yahoo Answers? Only now getting into emo porn? Who are these people who didn't experience their sexual awakening alongside the triumphant rise of My Chemical Romance?
If we're being honest, the answers are more alarming than the questions. Maybe you're simply not their type, buddy. And who is this user with just enough self-awareness to not look up hentai at school, but who is then spending their study hour searching Yahoo Answers for porn novices? Similarly, if you know what "Yaoi" is we did not , you should probably know where the hell to find it better than the random yahoos in Yahoo Answers. But not all of these innocents are as innocent as they appear.
Which brings us to Tumblr user "whitechickslovesasiandicks," who likes to ask questions like these:. He's also not helping his cause by posting a video that was obviously filmed as part of a Human Resources seminar. And make no mistake, WCLAD has a cause, which is why he starts answering his own questions -- and being super obvious about it:. It seems his questions show up often enough on Yahoo Answers that people want to know how to stop him. At least we know now what he really gets off to: When in doubt, Christians have a handy saying that can guide them through difficult decisions: What Would Jesus Do?
And while the real answer would be either "Give everything away to the poor" or "Freak out at the metal horse racing down the street," merely asking the question can give people the necessary perspective to figure things out. But what do non-Christians do when faced with a tough question? They can't ask Christ for answers, after all. But thanks to Yahoo Answers, they can ask a Christian. Without getting into the Great Garfield Gender Debate , there's no reason to direct this kind of question to Christians as a whole. They're treating different systems of belief like they're different alien entities.
We get it, maybe it seems like Christianity is a bastion of inclusion. Jesus hung out with the lowest of the low in society, so it would only make sense that Christians could help this poor fella out with his social skills. However, not all of these seem to be pleas from the wretched. Look, we hate to stereotype, but if you're asking Christians about cars, you're most likely going to end up driving a hatchback with a fish sticker on the rear bumper.
Also, feel free to assume that they're too busy. On a related note, they're also not specially trained to advise you on whether or not to put a deposit down on a two-bedroom condo. While I was there she upgraded the ring without telling me.
Then she dumped me for a college drop out who works at apple bee's. Here is the funny part. When I came home on leave she actually expected me to pay her the difference for the upgraded engagement ring. So funny I know I laughed, and the best part was, I got to keep the ring. That by far is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me. I just started working at a fast food place. There was this girl that started not too long after me. So, one day, I am leaving high school. Going to my car, and I notice the girl going into the bike rack to get her bike.
She takes a few steps in and then I can tell by the look on her face that something is wrong. She realizes she didn't ride her bike that day. She starts to turn and slink out when I yell across the parking lot, "hey, did you forget your bike today? I bust her balls on it for a while. She thinks I'm a dork and eventually we start dating for the next 7 years.