Bahai views on dating
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Outreach for the heart. Maintaining our attitudes that we would have when sharing the principles of the Faith with others is key in this respect. As we read in the quotations, we strive not to think in terms of success and failure.
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Instead, we try to have a posture of learning. In our attempts to have meaningful conversation with a few people to explore the possibility of getting to know their characters, we can try to learn about ourselves, we can practice detachment and explore new and creative ways of getting to know people. Friends, the next steps can be crucial! If we never identify people that we want to consolidate with, or strengthen our relationship with, we will meet lots of people, have great conversations, but will still be trying to build communities on our own.
My Thoughts on a Coherent Approach to Dating - Baha'i Blog
Similar to serving others or participating in building communities, working in teams and reflecting and consulting and studying guidance together can be really helpful. I had a few girlfriends I would talk to and we would reflect together on our progress and our own learning process. What did I learn? How did this conversation or attempt help me to grow spiritually?
I needed a lot! I felt we got along great and after some consultation and encouragement, I decided to ask him whether the feeling was mutual and to learn about this process since I was asking a bit earlier than I had done with others. It is similar to when we invite someone to a devotional gathering. Our intention with these conversations is often to explore together what prayer is and what it means for that individual and the community, rather than to try and persuade anyone to come.
Community-building is something many people engage in together on a path, but a fortress of well-being is mainly owned by two people. And in both cases the ownership has to be a conscious decision that requires dedication, a posture of learning, love and cooperation. It was very helpful for me to know that Alexis and I were, and are, in this together and we took time to reflect on our courtship.
What are your intentions??! Guidance from the Universal House of Justice: Letter written by the Universal House of Justice in response to an inquiry from a father about his sons:. However, there is no indication that it will resemble the practices extant in existing cultures…. In this context, we offer the following comments.
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Therefore, when discussing the issue of courtship with your sons, it would be best to discuss it on the level of principle without reference to individuals. However, in a relationship in which such a decision has not been taken and in which the law of chastity is strictly observed, there is no objection, in principle, to a prolonged friendship in which the two individuals entertain the possibility of marrying each other at some time in the future. Each family member has rights which should be respected, and if you wish to have some time in your home without the presence of non-family members, the other members of your family should take this seriously into consideration.
However, we hasten to point out to you that the situation which you describe, in which your sons wish their friends to be involved with your family, is much more in line with the Teachings than the common pattern in Western countries in which many youth virtually exclude their parents from interacting with their peers, sometimes distancing themselves from their families in order to have the freedom to engage in frivolous and even unchaste behavior….
August 28, , to an individual. Character Qualities to Know and Practice. Each must, however, exercise the utmost care to become thoroughly acquainted with the character of the other, that the binding covenant between them may be a tie that will endure forever. Lights of Guidance , Consider how to apply the guidance to only look for the good in others as well as the guidance to be thorough in understanding a potential mate. If you see only the good and it is very tiny, and the person has significant character weaknesses, will you be able to successfully establish a happy, harmonious marriage that is of service to others?
Might you instead be mired in internal conflict and problems? It is also wise to consider how important particular character qualities are for you to have in a spouse. Truthfulness and faithfulness are likely to be vital qualities to see as strengths in the person. Other qualities may be less important to you, and it's fine if the person is working at improving them.
It is also important to consider the compatibility or interconnection of your strengths as a couple. Understanding your compatibility requires knowing your own character and what you value in a spouse.
Instead, consider that becoming " thoroughly acquainted " or " ascertaining knowledge " invites couples to engage in a wide variety of activities with one another, interact with each other's family, and participate in service together. The goal is to know one another well enough that there is a high level of confidence in the knowledge you hold of each other's character. For some couples, going through parental consent see below may then be another level of check, as parents can also know the characters of both partners.
The qualities listed below are ones that Marriage Transformation has found are strengths of particular applicability to relationships and marriages: Resources on character from Marriage Transformation. What is meant is that marriage should lead to a profound friendship of spirit, which will endure in the next world, where there is no sex, and no giving and taking in marriage; just the way we should establish with our parents, our children, our brothers and sisters and friends a deep spiritual bond which will be everlasting, and not merely physical bonds of human relationship.
Lights of Guidance , p. Further, it would appear that the possibility of such an enduring 'friendship' is not limited to the relationship between husband and wife. Rather, it is dependent on the nurturance and development of 'a deep spiritual bond', which transcends the 'merely physical bonds of human relationship' and is conditional on the establishment of 'unity' in the particular relationship.
Couples who are in a long-distance relationship must work very hard to have enough experiences together that they can be confident they know one another's character and their compatibility. Ok so for a second there my eye was unchaste We will set aside the fact that she probably could have worn something that wouldn't have slid off. There are some things that seem to be a common view of chaste behavior. Then there are other things which might be in the grey area.
I think the directive there is to consider it black anyway so as to not even give the allusion of impropriety. An example for me is that I don't let unattended women into my home. So that goes for my daughters playmates and the neighbor wives. I don't even want a hint of something out of place. In short it is open to interpretation, but as Potter Stewart once said, "But I know it when I see it. Thank you for the response.
- Helpful links.
- How to Get Thoroughly Acquainted: One Baha’i’s Perspective on Dating.
- How to Get Thoroughly Acquainted: One Baha’i's Perspective on Dating - Baha'i Blog;
- how to know if a guy likes you more than a hookup;
- the good and bad of dating a married man;
Yeah it was the chaste eye thing I think. He uses chaste a lot in other contexts too and from those ones I think it means pure. So chaste in relation to sexual relationships would just be try to remain pure. I do think that there are levels between your pool scenario and having sex but I agree with you and Baha'u'llah that to have a society where both genders can be friends we do need to not look at each other like pieces of meat so to speak.
On that note I had also read that the sex impulse was only to be used during marriage with your partner. Does this mean one cannot masturbate?
- Having girlfriend/boyfriend even though you are a Bahai? - Baha'i Library Forum;
- Official sources.
- 4 Vital Principles for Finding a Relationship Partner;
- gn dating;
- Rundown of dating in the Bahai Faith? : bahai;
It may seem like a dumb or inappropriate question but aside from the medical benefits I think that uses this sex impulse with no one instead of committing premarital sex is good right? So that was one I wasn't too sure about either until recently So here is the answer:. Outside of marital life there can be no lawful or healthy use of the sex impulse. Economic factors, no doubt, are often a serious hindrance to early marriage, but in most cases are only an excuse, and as such should not be overstressed.
This is exactly the reason why I wrote: My words, not hers, as she said it in a nicer way. Indeed, in his comprehension, his feelings, his deductions and his discoveries, every day of his life after maturity is equal to a year before it. It all comes down to trust and finding a person that is trustworthy. Most focus on the physical and sexual qualities of the person and seem to encourage an unrealistic and harmful attitude and thinking about selecting a spouse. I was complaining to her about how there are no guys I would be interested in seriously, and she said I was being ridiculous.
So in essence if you read between the lines there I go on a bit further on my interpretation and that is to say if the sex act is considered depraved even if expressed towards your spouse, it's an unchaste act. So even in the confines of marriage, there is a line that can be crossed. Read up about tantra and sexual energy to see how far one can take abstinence. There is no loss of potency or need for release I don't know much about all that.
Again thanks for taking the time to respond. I guess I'd agree that that is the most logical conclusion from that. But what does the Baha'i faith do when science maybe suggests something against the faith or overrides it completely? I cannot find any currently examples really but for example masturbation has been shown to be healthy for reducing prostate cancer risk and such. There is a rather famous book given to Christian children who are caught masturbating.
I forget the name of it, but in it the author details an experiment where he attempts to masturbate without any type of visual or mental assistance. He claims it's not possible. In short you need the mental visuals to successfully masturbate and that mental visual is the problem as it leaves you with an unchaste eye no matter who the subject is.
As far as I know there are no contradictions between science and the Baha'i Faith or any religion for that matter. Absolutely none of it am I required to take on faith. I suppose miracles would be the exception Moses especially and from what I understand those shouldn't be considered the final proof of divinity anyway because it tends to only speak to a few people most specifically the ones who saw it.
For the rest of us we are left scratching our heads. There is other proof for us in the form of logic and reason or poetry which speaks to us differently. My 6th grade science teacher got a hold of me long before the writings did. I have studied chemistry and physics and history and geology and all that fine stuff.
When it comes to dating and getting to know a potential partner in the both from a Baha'i perspective and from a scientific point of view and is. Marriage is a beautiful adventure that we cherish My Thoughts on a Coherent The word “dating” makes me cringe a little but when I use it, I'm.
None of it shakes my believe that God created the universe, set in motion the laws that govern that universe with the purpose to educate His creation about Himself. With that mission statement in mind, the writings are filled with teachings regarding how to navigate this existence for both the individual and society and to help us prepare for what comes next, most of which we have little idea. Sometimes reddit isn't the greatest forum to explain stuff but we will keep trying.
My struggle is to compact all this info into something you can read while eating cereal.