Dating communication frequency

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This means that a couple of days could pass without contact simply because he was absorbed in work. He also didn't like to talk if he wasn't feeling tip-top, being unwilling to have a conversation in which he be grousing about work or tired. The upside to this kind of personality is that when he was with me, he was totally focused on me--turned off his phone and email, etc. I squashed my urge to say "hey, I need more contact than this," because I thought, I can't make someone want to talk to me more frequently.

The Frequency Factor: What’s the Right Amount of Communication During Early Dating?

This gradually changed as our relationship progressed around the six-month mark and we became more enmeshed in each other's daily lives. Now we spend every freaking minute together. I'm an infrequent communicator. It's a combination of 1 being independent and just not thinking to check in because I'm absorbed with xyz and 2 not wanting to waste the other person's time with random boring clutter that might make them tired of hearing from me.

So I save up and only contact if I have something reasonably interesting. Maybe he's just trying to spare you what he considers boring humdrum details beneath your interest. I dated someone for a couple of years who would go incommunicado for several days at a time, both early on and later in the relationship. While I eventually came to the point where I expected it, I ultimately realized that I couldn't handle it.

I found myself wanting someone who was going to communicate both when he wanted to and when I wanted to. Give and take, etc. Where I was going is that he's unlikely to change this, so it's really a question of whether you are able to adapt to his communication style. If not, you're not the only one. For what it's worth, I'd only contact someone every hours if I were really really into them.

That would be an intense level of communication for me. If he's initiating communication reliably and being solid about plans, I'd relax. If you're doing all the work to make contact, I'd back off a bit and let him take the initiative to contact you at least part of the time. Otherwise you may accidently train him to think that communication initiation is your domain, and thus not bother with his end.

As the relationship progresses he will learn more about you your comfort level and interests , and you may get more pings from him that are targeted in nature. He may not send you a half dozen random funny jokes, but a single specific funny joke about your favorite animal, for instance, because it's more special to you. I would tell him explicitly that it would make you really happy if he'd send you some quick texts during the week, just to say "hi" or "Looking forward to Friday" or "beautiful day, isn't it? Two months in, I'd imagine he'd be excited to know that something so simple would make someone he's interested in really happy Personally, I think that not answering your emails is kind of rude, and I'd be worried that it signals a lack of awareness or consideration of your feelings.

That's different than whether he's interested in you, which seems to be what you're looking for evidence of. He could definitely be interested in you, and you may be able to find more of compromise with regard to communication frequency, but that doesn't mean he's a great partner for you.

Texting a girl you want to hook up with

Have you actually said "I would like to talk, text, or email with you every day, because that's what I like to do when I'm dating somebody? How do you feel about that? Sidhedevil and I had a bit of a bumpy time of this in the first couple of years of our courtship and marriage particularly because I traveled a lot on business in those days. He eventually said "I would like to talk with you on the phone every day unless it is absolutely impracticable" and we have pretty much talked on the phone every day we've been apart since then, except when I was in Easter Island or somewhere else that the phone service was ridiculously expensive.

I didn't forget to call him for days on end because I had "lost interest" or anything; I was just wrapped up in whatever I was doing. Perhaps your guy is the same. Even now, I rarely respond to my husband's emails when we're apart, because I am not so much with the email. Apparently via bellow from the other room that's okay but he's not crazy about it. Well, I don't feel the need to talk every single day, mostly because my days are duller than shit went to work, nothing happened, went to gym, went home, watched TV and I don't feel the burning need to chat with someone when I have nothing to offer or say that's any new from the last time I talked to them.

That may be why he's not talking. Also, some folks are just not into "just to say hi" calls. But I'm like this about phone calls, not everything else.

All I ask is an email, damn it! - dating communication frequency | Ask MetaFilter

He probably hasn't stopped liking you in 2 days, he just had nothing to say to keep you interested! But optimally speaking, if this really bothers you, you probably need to be with someone who needs more frequent contact. Otherwise you're settling and feeling unhappy and rejected all the time, even if he doesn't mean for you to feel that way.

Or you get to demand that he make more "just to say hi" calls, I don't know how well that will go over. I say this having spent the last decade and a half in constant negotiation over "how many phone calls a week" with my mother, who really really really really needs more contact or she goes crazy. She's not totally happy because I don't call daily, I'm not thrilled with calling twice a week when half of those calls is me having no news at all to say, but that's what we've negotiated over the years.

I'm also like "what's the problem? I do live with my SO and hence see him a lot more often, but this is still what it's like when one of us goes out of town. So if you want to hear what it feels like not to care, it's just like "he's over there, I'm over here, and I'm sure we'll catch up soon. I have had SOs where we talked a lot more, but I got used to this and am not bothered by it, maybe because I just don't question that he's there in a deeper sense than just "he exists" -- "he'd be there for me," maybe nor that he'd be equally interested in talking to me whenever I feel like calling him.

Have you tried just calling this dude whenever you feel like talking to him? Do you know he's not willing to adjust your direction on this? I did come into this relationship with an expectation more like yours, so you may just naturally get used to it. One question to consider might be "does this bug you because a you want conversation, or b because you think it means he's not into you?

But I personally would've answered a , and still, it stopped bothering me as our relationship got more solid. Two months of dating is not very long.

Sometimes people especially those who've been single for a while need to ease into the 'constant contact' thing with the person they are dating. It can feel suffocating.

5 Texting-While-Dating Rules to Simplify Your Love Life

Give him time to adjust to the idea of being accountable to you on a daily basis. I personally think that two months is way too soon to feel accountable to someone on a daily basis, but that could just be me. Know specifically what you want and go after it.

Does it bother you that he doesn't initiate communication or that you don't talk every day? If it's only the latter, just take matters into your own hands and call him. Being in touch is important to you, so make the effort to be in touch. If you want him to initiate, make it easier for him to know when. Sometimes people need a paint-by-numbers road to success. Both things have worked for me. Also, when I found myself wanting to be in touch for no particular reason as in, if I called I wouldn't have anything to report, or anything to ask , I fill the time by doing something worth talking about.

It can be as simple as web research on something interesting, but it fills time and gives me a compelling excuse to call if I still need to after an hour. Of course, if the truth turns out to be him needing quiet from you for a few days, it may just be a poor match. Perhaps consider adjusting your communication methods? I've been dating my SO for five months and, by now, we talk nearly every day. But the vast majority of our between-hanging-out communication is gchat and email. There are days when we don't talk, though, and it's pretty common for our daily communication to be very brief.

Also, a lot of those communications are initiated by something like 'hey, I read this article I thought you'd like,' or 'hey, what did so-and-so think of such-and-such? If something happened, I'd tell her. All of this applies to my daily communication with her, too.

I could probably count on one hand the number of full-on phone conversations we've had. I do not like talking on the phone, and told her this early on.

If she called me regularly just shoot the breeze, honestly, I'd get annoyed. Texting is similar - I tend to think of it as something you do make plans or work out logistics when you're meeting up with someone. I don't have text-message conversations with people, and I don't want to. A friend of mine is always on-guard for a random text from his SO, in case he takes too long to respond and she gets upset.

Don't be like that not that you are.

The Frequency Factor: What’s the Right Amount of Communication During Early Dating?

Anyway, if this guy wasn't into you he wouldn't be introducing you to his friends and parents. A lot of people are not phone people, and a lot of people are not into poring over the minutiae of their daily existence. So, my advice is: I really really love my partner, and I have difficulty remembering to contact him every few days when we're apart. I try, and I've got a bit better because it bothers him, but since fundamentally frequent contact doesn't matter to me I keep forgetting and blipping off-radar.

So, if it's really important to you, be aware that it doesn't say anything about how he feels, and change may be slow.

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