Dating someone with cold sores

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How do you guys handle this? I'd like to stay sore free. Herpes absolutely is contagious even when there are no open sores. Not true at all. Herpes can be contagious at anytime regardless of visible sores. Herpes outbreaks are most contagious a week before the outbreak appears due to prodrome, while the outbreak is occurring and until the sores have completely healed and no sign of infection is left.

Has he gotten tested lately? Keep in mind confirming HSV1 with the commercial available IgG is fairly accurate, what it's not so good at is ruling infection out. This is established infections, not infections that were tested for too early to show positive. Since you two already behave under the assumption that he doesn't have it, the worst case would be that the test also shows that he probably don't have it. With that said, when it comes to transmitting oral to genital hsv-1 to someone with oral hsv-1 already, all that literature tells us is the phrase "highly unlikely".

I interpret that as it's not a 0 chance, but it's so close to zero that it's most likely not something to worry about.

I personally instill wouldn't be comfortable having someone go down on me or go down on someone with an active cold sore though, unnecessary to tempt fate. This is the information I was looking for, especially this last paragraph.

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I know that I haven't been tested for it, since I know that the normal tests you get at your well women's don't include it unless requested or symptoms are suspected. I feel like an appropriate attitude is "do your best to avoid open outbreaks, but also know you just might get it, or likely already have it, but you most likely aren't going to get genital sores if you are reasonable and precautionary". I managed not to get mono throughout high school and college, maybe I'll avoid this one too. No no no no no! HSV 1 and 2 are contagious even when there are no open sores.

That said, many people who have HSV never have an outbreak so it is up to you to decide how much of a big deal that is.

Ok, so what does that mean practically? Always use a barrier with sex previously not a consideration all that much, us being gay?

Only kiss and share drinks with people who also have been exposed? I obviously don't want genital sores because they are 1. I mean, everyone gets cold sores, looking for pictures online reveals tons of celebrities with them and. From my understanding of this, it would make sense that I already am a carrier from a previous encounter since surely I've had contact with people who were at the time asymptomatic. Practically, in your situation, you know that she has HSV 1 or 2, either can cause oral or genital outbreaks although HSV 1 is usually oral and NSV 2 is usually genital and you suspect that you may have one or the other or both.

Cold Sores (HSV-1)

If you have different ones and give them to each other, it can worsen symptoms. But regardless, given that at their unlikely worst case scenarios each can be harmful, I don't think it is worth saying 'well I have one, may as well not worry about the other'. I would, in your situation, both get tested just to see, let's say she has HSV 1 and you have nothing. Don't share drinks in general, it isn't a good idea. Herpes can be really mild and you can have it your whole life and never be bothered by it.

In extreme cases, it can end up with it infecting your brain and getting dementia by herpes encephalitis. Don't set your health standards by what celebrities do and don't have. Please take your health seriously. I have heard so many people at university say things like 'well it's just chlamydia, it can be cured' but this is your health we are talking about and you should be as responsible as possible and not only think of the best case scenarios but all the complications too.

Want to add to the discussion?

There's an element of risk in everything. Do you want to take the risk? All this said, the stigma can be hurtful, but if you have it, you have it, there isn't anything you can do, just be responsible with telling partners and it is unlikely to impact your life in a huge way in terms of outbreaks. That is actually not true. I agree with the testing, always good to know what you are working with. And definitely barrier methods will go a long way in stopping herpes, although not completely.

Certain events or situations can trigger recurrences, and you may be able to help your partner avoid or reduce the trigger factors, which may include stress at work or home, fatigue, ill health, loss of sleep, friction due to sexual intercourse, and menstruation in women. If your partner has frequent or severe episodes of genital herpes, or if the recurrent outbreaks are causing a lot of anxiety for your partner, then he or she may benefit from suppressive therapy taking oral antiviral tablets continuously , which prevents or reduces recurrences.

If you take the necessary precautions, the chances of getting the herpes virus from your partner are reduced. Genital herpes does not mean abstinence from sex or a reduced enjoyment of sex. The continued use of condoms in a long-term relationship is a personal decision that only the couple can make. Most find that as the importance of the HSV infection in their relationship is seen in perspective, that condom use becomes less relevant if this is the only reason condoms are being used.

However, most couples choose to avoid genital skin-to-skin contact during an active episode of herpes because this is when the herpes virus is most readily transmitted. This period includes the time from when your partner first has warning signs of an outbreak, such as a tingling or burning in the genitals, until the last of the sores has healed.

Also, sexual activity prolongs the healing of the episode.

Herpes transmission risk is increased if there are any breaks in the skin. For example, if you have thrush or small abrasions from sexual intercourse, often due to insufficient lubrication. It can be helpful to use a lubricant specifically for sexual intercourse and avoid sex if you have thrush. Sexual lubricant is helpful right at the start of sexual activity. Sores in other areas — such as the buttocks and thighs — can be just as contagious as those in the genital area, and care should be taken to avoid direct contact with such sores during sex.

At other times, there is still a small risk of transmitting the herpes infection through a process known as asymptomatic shedding, even if your partner is showing no signs of genital herpes. This risk can be reduced significantly if a person with herpes takes suppressive oral antiviral treatment. If you or your partner has a cold sore, it is advisable to avoid oral sex as this can spread the herpes virus to the genitals. You cannot catch genital herpes by sharing cups, towels or bath water, or from toilet seats.

You can still cuddle, share a bed, or kiss.

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After you have read this booklet and discussed genital herpes with your partner, you might have specific questions or concerns about herpes. Continue to go back to your doctor or counsellor until all your queries about genital herpes are answered. Sexual Health Clinics also provide confidential free treatment, management and information. In some areas, there are local genital herpes support groups that can be a valuable source of information and support. The following section gives you in-depth information about the use of oral antivirals to treat herpes.

Aciclovir has been used for this indication for a number of years now and found to be highly effective in controlling herpes recurrences. Some people with genital herpes have identified factors which may influence frequency or severity of recurrences. Factors such as stress, diet and lifestyle may be worth considering when looking at ways of managing herpes in your life. Each case is individual and what works for one may not work for another. Frequent or severe recurrences of genital herpes infection may interfere with normal work and social activities, and cause disruption to your sex life.

However, there are steps which you can take to reduce outbreaks and help bring the herpes virus under control. This section explains what you can do and answers some other questions which you may have about living with genital herpes. Once you have acquired the herpes simplex virus HSV-2 it remains permanently resident in your body, living in a structure called the dorsal root ganglion, which is part of the nervous tissue located near to the base of the spinal column. It spreads down the nerve to break out on the skin from time to time.

Most of the time it is inactive, but every so often something happens to reactivate it, which causes the symptoms you recognise. Sometimes the herpes virus can reactivate and be shed without recognisable herpes symptoms asymptomatic shedding. It is not known exactly why the herpes virus becomes active again. Some people recognise certain trigger factors which contribute to an outbreak. These may include friction due to sexual intercourse, ill health, stress, fatigue, depression, loss of sleep, direct sunlight and menstruation.

MODERATORS

Many people find that as the years go by the number and severity of their herpes recurrences naturally diminish. Education and counselling will often help an individual cope with recurrences. People who make contact with a support group for people with genital herpes often describe this as being a turning point in their coping with genital herpes in their life. Suppressive therapy involves taking an oral antiviral drug every day for prolonged periods.

When recurrences do occur, they are usually less severe and shorter lasting. If you find the frequency of your outbreaks unacceptable, or if you are finding it difficult to cope emotionally with having recurrences of genital herpes, tell your doctor and discuss the use of suppressive therapy. For example, a very large study found that people who had an average of over 12 herpes occurrences a year, could reduce the frequency of their herpes outbreaks to less than two a year after one year of continuous suppressive therapy.

The study also showed that if recurrences do occur during suppressive therapy, they are usually less severe and shorter lasting. Your doctor may agree that suppressive antiviral therapy is suitable for you if one of the following applies to you: There are two oral antivirals available for suppressive treatment in New Zealand: Many people who use suppressive therapy say that they get so used to taking the tablets or capsules they are happy to continue with the treatment.

If you choose suppressive therapy, you do not have to stay on it permanently. If you prefer, you can take it until you feel in control of the herpes infection, but this is usually a period of months initially. Your doctor may suggest you stop the suppressive therapy for several months after you have taken suppressive therapy for some time, in order to assess how active your genital herpes remains.

If you are still having problems with herpes recurrences, you and your doctor may then decide that you should start suppressive therapy again. Aciclovir has been reported to cause no serious side-effects, even after years of use. A few people taking suppressive therapy do experience minor side-effects such as headache, nausea and diarrhoea.

If you have a problem, discuss this with your doctor.

Research to date shows that people with normal immune systems who are on oral antivirals for a long period do not develop virus resistance or clinical breakthrough.

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