As believers, we can learn a lot from this concept as we look at making choices in our life, particularly with regards to dating. Will the choices we make in dating benefit our lives and push us closer to Jesus, or will they cause us to remain the same? There is no greater binding experience than the commingling of two people into one, in this thing we call marriage Genesis 2: We are holistic beings, and in order to truly connect, we must find someone with which we can connect on every level.
But sometimes, waiting for love can be trying. With each passing day, the waiting gets harder. Dating is a precursor for marriage, because you will ultimately marry one of the people you date , and marriage ushers you in the most vulnerable state of your life. Being married and opening yourself up to this kind of binding love gives the person standing before you the ability to hurt you in a far deeper way than anyone in this world could, and there are times that hurt happens.
Being married myself, I can attest to this reality. But this is when the beauty of our relationship with Jesus Christ shines through more than ever before. It is within that deep vulnerability, that our relationship with Jesus is the anchor that keeps us steady. And in that, we find a love that we can trust, because it is not rooted in ourselves, but in God at work within us.
A God who gave His own life to teach us how to give of ours. I should also clarify at this point that by "dating", I do not mean a casual, just-for-fun romance with no likely future - I mean a relationship entered into with the intention to find out if you are suitable for marriage.
Casual dating is usually self-centered and self-serving: If we know for sure we will never marry said person, then being in a relationship with them is unfair to them as well. As Christians, the most important question we should ask is "Does this make me more like Jesus?
Or the Christian will continue to pursue God but this will frustrate the non-Christian and there will be strife within the dating or marriage relationship. So to avoid marrying a non-Christian, it starts with refusing to date a non-Christian. And when a Christian compromises on his or her beliefs and way of life, this is a major problem. Nevertheless, foreign women made even him to sin. Ever turned on the television or radio to catch a sermon, song, or message seemingly written specifically for you? Or the Christian will continue to pursue God but this will frustrate the non-Christian and there will be strife within the dating or marriage relationship. Even with Mr E.
I can almost hear the argument being formed right now, that, basically, there is nowhere in the Bible that says it's a sin to date a non-Christian. In fact, the Bible doesn't even talk about dating: Even if we gloss over passages like 2 Corinthians 6: If the goal is to be more like Christ, then we are intentionally and knowingly making it harder. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: When we are willing to jeopardize our relationship with God for anything else - could be career, money, pleasure - then that becomes our idol, no matter how "good" it is in itself.
Even a Christian relationship can become an idol if it takes precedence over God. So, even if not explicitly stated as a sin, the fact that we are willing to endanger our faith to cling on to this other person shows our heart's true desires. And finally, we have to consider not just the possible pitfalls of dating and marrying a non-Christian, but the considerable benefits of dating a mature, growing Christian.
In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
It's not always natural or easy to look for and desire these things in a relationship when other things like looks, personality and so on have such a magnetic pull - but I'm convinced that these are the most important things to have for the long term. Don't get me wrong, it's not that good chemistry and attraction are not important - they are just not as important as we think.
That is not to say that a Christian marriage is short of its share of troubles. No marriage or relationship, Christian or otherwise, is perfect. But that is precisely why we need a spouse that will see and address these imperfections through the light of Christ's perfect love for us. So it is not merely a matter of going to different places on a Sunday morning - it's a matter of ending up in different places for eternity.
As a Christian, are you convinced that your salvation and relationship with God is more important than your relationship with anyone else? Are you certain that heaven and hell exist? Do you believe that obedience to God's word sometimes involves things we don't want to do, or don't even understand? Because there is no sitting on the fence - if your answer is yes, then you cannot continue knowingly disobeying God. And, rather more worryingly, if your answer is no, then you might have to ask yourself what you truly believe in.
I just want to say that this issue is just one of the many sins that we fall prey to, and that you are not more sinful or a worse Christian just because you are going through this. The Christian life is a constant struggle with sin - and the most alarming part is not when we sin, but when we stop struggling with it altogether, and even try to tell ourselves that it's okay.
It wasn't easy for me to write and post this - it actually took me more than a year since drafting it to actually get it out there; because I felt I couldn't do it until I really could come to terms with it. And even as I write this, I still have half a mind to leave it lounging in the 'Drafts' section. It is that hard, and it is that close to my heart. If you are struggling with or facing this issue, I pray you will find the courage to obey God, and the faith to trust that this obedience will not leave you short-changed.
Trust me, its something I battle with every single day.