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Add value by sharing your awesomeness, and do it without expecting anything in return. There is no doubt about it, a well-gifted compliment is a tool that can bring you massive success in dating. It is to help her feel trust.
Your job is not just to use words and topics to have great conversation. Tansel Ali is a world leading memory expert. When I was learning how to be memorable and connect with people I had the pleasure of being coached by Tansel. We went deep and explored the art of personal connection.
One of the overarching principles, as explained by Tansel, was this: Not just the brain. From a logical perspective it might make perfect sense for women to like you and to want to date you. You also need to make sense to women from an emotional perspective. The only way that can be done is by striking the heart and making women feel the right kind of emotions.
One is head-level thinking , the other is gut-level feeling. One is going through the motions, the other is acting on pure desire. One of my clients is an aerospace engineer — a highly analytical kind of guy — who was struggling to get his head around dating. So I coached him to become more aware of the emotions he was making women feel and and how to evoke the right feelings.
From that point on it all changed for him. A couple of the best emotions you can use on Tinder are suspense and anticipation. They both arise when you inject a little mystery into your conversation. It could be anything like:. The desire to get closure over unfinished business is more than enough to tilt the table in your favor and improve your Tinder results dramatically. So on Tinder we feel like asking pleasant and comfortable questions like:. Think of conversation like an onion. On the inside are the deeper and self-revealing topics:. Getting stuck in that first or second layer is why a woman will say: The world-renowned behavioral scientist I mentioned before, Dan Ariely, did an experiment with MIT students on this exact issue.
You need to be able to move from small talk to something deeper, more exploratory, and more challenging. The impact this can have on your success is instant. It comes from a guy who came to me because he was struggling to talk to women. After teaching him about deeper conversation and how to use it on a first date this is what happened:.
If having deep and interesting conversation is the way to go, then what do you actually talk about? What questions should you ask her? A secret weapon of sorts. The amazing thing is that it worked. Six months after the experiment two of the participants ended up getting married. Many years later a lady named Mandy Len Catron famously followed this list of 36 first date questions. She ended up falling in love with the man she went on a date with.
Read this list and get a feel for how the questions start off on the outside of the onion and go deeper. These are the type of questions and discussions that create connection. The questions are broken into three different sets. Each set starts off a little shallow, then builds depth.
They promote future visions, openness and honesty, seek out common ground, encourage unity, sharing, emotion, and depth. Watch the short video below where two people on a blind date undertake a similar process of engaging in meaningful conversation. So back to that list of 36 questions — what are you supposed to do with it?
Well, even though it sounds silly, you could, and it would help your closeness enormously. When you go deep on a first date you can create consistently powerful connections like you saw in the video. It goes to show that avoiding the friend-zone can be done simply and gentlemanly by asking the right questions.
In the first section of this guide you learned the 7 ingredients to connecting deeply with women. This new skill is going to completely change the way women feel and act toward you. A number of years ago I met this cute college girl named Olivia through an online dating site. Although we had never met up in person, we had been getting to know each other over email for three months. She knew this because for the last three months we had mostly been talking about our jobs. After months of asking about my life I neglected to ask him about his, then, when I realized this I asked him about his job as an engineer!
I know someone who got into a relationship through Tinder, I think if you are looking for sex you'll people like that, if you're looking to date then. Learn step by step how to flirt your way to dates and hookups in 3 messages. Basically, this technique is about creating an “open loop” that.
When I knew he was a business analyst! I want to ask him if we could meet up sometime but I think I blew my chance. She said we should:.
And even more embarrassing was this: A few months earlier I had moved to the other side of the country for work, but mainly so I could use online dating without being found out by people I knew. Going on a date with Olivia was practically a dream come true for me.
My first ever date! Maybe even my first girlfriend! These last few months have been very hard for me.
Here was a cute girl who told me she wanted to go on a date with me. Not once, but at least three times. It took me years to find out, but it really can be easy to get women out on dates. You move up again to a deeper and more meaningful connection.
By doing this I was dawdling at the bottom of the connection ladder the entire time. There was no human interaction at all. Not even a phone call. Or maybe just perfect enough for a fun one-month fling. To fully explore a connection — to squeeze out every last drop of chemistry you can with a woman and explore your potential — you need to be playing at the top level every chance you get. Not just a little less competition, but a lot less. The competition women have for YOU.
Where you choose to spend your time on the ladder makes a massive difference, much more than the time you spend on the ladder.
And sure, it still takes effort to consistently play at the top. Grind it out at the bottom, or increase the human element and enjoy the rewards at the top. He was intelligent, kind, motivated, fun, and generous, not to mention a doctor in the making — of course women would want him. His Tinder conversations showed his personality well, but they were bloated, often twenty messages long.
So I got him to really focus on decreasing the amount of messages he was sending, while at the same time moving up the ladder. We made efficiency and progression a priority. The vast majority of guys are just like Caleb — my previous self included. Once they start moving up, suddenly they realize they are great guys who women truly want. All it took to realize it was giving themselves an opportunity to share their gift. Any one of these things and many more can destroy your developing connection and have a woman disappear into thin air.
There are a number of fears that hold guys back from making the right moves and progressing with women. One of the most common is the fear of being pushy. The fear of being pushy is debilitating because it can keep nice guys like you down the bottom of the ladder. If things are going well with a woman on Tinder we might think about getting her number, but the fear of being pushy makes us squirm and turn soft. Before you know it the woman has disappeared.
Add value by sharing your awesomeness, and do it without expecting anything in return. We are living in an incredible time with literally millions of amazing women just one swipe away. For a lot of guys the outcome of dating is great hookups, girlfriends, etc. Not even a phone call. Sharing also means gifting your awesomeness. We do that in a playful and flirty kind of way. While women do frequently engage in short-term mating strategies, men repeatedly demonstrate more desire for short-term mating.
They were talking about meeting up:. If this was you, you could say:. If he said that they would have moved up the ladder and would have been one phone call away from an amazing first date or a passionate hookup. His fear of being pushy made him lose a beautiful woman he really liked, and it also meant SHE missed out on his awesomeness.