How long to wait for response online dating
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It's not like they'll become more interested if you take a long time to answer either. Their level of interest will mainly be determined by how attractive your profile is, exactly like it is for you. When I recommend waiting, it's because it's because it's better for efficiency.
You see, if the girl lives close to you, perhaps around one hour away, you will usually be able to propose a date after you've sent five to ten messages back and forth over the course of one to two weeks. You can't just suggest a date in the first message; the girl has to feel like she knows you well enough to meet you, and both the number of messages and the time that's passed since you first started your conversation will help give her that feeling. This is why you shouldn't instantly respond when she replies to your message; if you do, you may end up having to exchange a higher number of messages before she's ready to meet you.
After five messages back and forth on the first night she will feel like she knows you less than she would if you had portioned those five messages out over the course of a week. But even though time and the number of messages you've exchanged are important factors in building the trust the girl needs to meet you, you still shouldn't wait too long.
As the weeks pass, your online relationship runs the risk of becoming stale and awkward; the excitement disappears, and you window of opportunity closes. Most guys have experienced something like this; you met a girl at a party and added her on Facebook, or you started saying hello to a girl at school, but time passed, nothing more happened and things became weird.
It's not like they'll become more interested if you take a long time to answer either. Their level of interest will mainly be determined by how attractive your profile is, exactly like it is for you. When I recommend waiting, it's because it's because it's better for efficiency. You see, if the girl lives close to you, perhaps around one hour away, you will usually be able to propose a date after you've sent five to ten messages back and forth over the course of one to two weeks.
The one element that remains crystal clear in my memory is waiting several long, torturous, panicky minutes to text my crush back so I didn't. The speed of someone's response will depend on their online dating site habits and their level of interest in a match. So, when communicating with a match it's.
You can't just suggest a date in the first message; the girl has to feel like she knows you well enough to meet you, and both the number of messages and the time that's passed since you first started your conversation will help give her that feeling. This is why you shouldn't instantly respond when she replies to your message; if you do, you may end up having to exchange a higher number of messages before she's ready to meet you. After five messages back and forth on the first night she will feel like she knows you less than she would if you had portioned those five messages out over the course of a week.
But even though time and the number of messages you've exchanged are important factors in building the trust the girl needs to meet you, you still shouldn't wait too long. As the weeks pass, your online relationship runs the risk of becoming stale and awkward; the excitement disappears, and you window of opportunity closes. Most guys have experienced something like this; you met a girl at a party and added her on Facebook, or you started saying hello to a girl at school, but time passed, nothing more happened and things became weird.
If you did this 4 times in a row, I might think it was a little eager. I just figured you happened to be online when you get the message. Don't over think it. I know we all do it, but I constantly forget to respond for several days or just can't think of anything clever to say or am too tired to write any kind of vaguely interesting reply. It doesn't mean I'm not interested.
Some people log into dating website once a week or less. Especially on a free site like OKcupid where you have nothing to lose by being a very casual user.
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If you had waited longer and she hadn't responded by now, you'd be asking us if you waited too long. There's no way to know what she's thinking. Writing back within the hour is not gross. Formulating a well-thought-out response is not gross.
How long to wait to respond online dating
Someone wandering away after just one interaction for whatever reason is unfortunately normal, online and in real life. One more piece of advice: This has the potential to distort your frame of mind.
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You do not want to lapse into thinking, "So! She has the time to log on to OKCupid to check out other guys, but apparently she can't be bothered to Don't you have some websites bookmarked that you check so often it's reflexive? At any given moment when I'm online, I'm likely to head to nytimes.
72 hour rule for online dating? - onlinedating okcupid resolved | Ask MetaFilter
Sometimes it's just "I have this computer with internet access in front of me and I'm bored, so I guess I'll go to one of my default sites. You have no way of knowing, so try not to stress about this at all. I have no idea if she's waited a couple days because she's not interested or because she wants to take some extra time to write a good message.
If it's the latter, she might still intentionally log in for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with you.
Since you haven't even gotten to the first-date stage yet, it's entirely possible she's actively interested in someone else Or maybe she just got an email alert with a preview of a message from some random guy, and it's so horribly written that she wants to log in to read the message for a good laugh.
Maybe she just quit smoking and logged in purely to change the smoking field in her profile to "no.
Is so, but rote. It doesn't mean I'm not interested. Comment on a coffee date. But the longer it takes for me to respond back, the more it looks like I can't decide if I want to. On OKCupid; I'm male.
It would take a pattern of instant enthusiastic responses for me to be freaked out by a short response turnaround time. For example, this would be both classic and alarming: Him, 7am - Hi you seem neat Me, 8pm - blah blah blah Him, 8: I am easily smothered. And I mostly get creepy, non-thought-out booty call messages on OKCupid. And I'm not a "you seem neat, let's go out this weekend, person I don't really know" girl.
Think about it, but don't over think it. It helps to keep sending out messages to other people. Don't focus entirely on someone awesome in the early stages. I try to wait at least a day to compose a message, so that I have time to calm down and not say something stupid.
But I let freaking voicemail greetings marinate in the same way, so.
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I don't understand this rule you are talking about. What's wrong with being excited about communicating with someone and responding quickly? Honestly, if I knew the same was going through a potential date's mind while communicating with me, I would be extremely disappointed, because it strikes me as very disingenuous. If this sounds overly harsh, don't take it personally, since I don't really know you, but consider it a data point when it comes to the kind of mindset that would lead you to overthink the issue as you have.
Thank you for all the responses. If anything, the message would get shorter if I remove digressions. I am hearing the advice on not overthinking things. The first two responses came in so fast I thought I was being stalked. I am gaining it. They become the perfect FakeSelf, because it's what everyone seems to think they're supposed to do.
Then they go on dates with people and continue that pattern of attempting to be the "perfect" and "attractive" FakeSelf, and then wait 72 hours to talk to the person again because that's the rule. At this point, one of two things generally happens: FakeSelf, over time, becomes frustrated and angry at online dating, because gosh darn it, it seems like FakeSelf just puts FakeSelf out there over and over, and nothing ever comes of all that effort.
I mean, what would it be like if you just wrote what you wanted to write to someone, when you wanted to write it? And then, what if you went out on a date and said what you actually thought and felt about things?! Then when we went out, he was being RealSelf with me. I knew I would never have to wait 3 days before he would call me back. I knew I would never have to wonder whether he was playing me while he was actually into someone else. I knew I would never have to think, "is he just saying that because he thinks it's the right way to respond?