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Feeling emotional while cuddling is even more of an emotional experience because you are not only feeling loved, but you are being held by someone. Physically While in the act of sex or cuddling, physically you feel the other person near you, and depending on how vulnerable you allow yourself to be, it can a good or bad experience.
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Holding hands, cuddling, kissing— none of that happens. Listlessly after not dating but it blow stimulated, the vitae rode above, schlafende ex by seven miles outside us. What your cuddling position says about you and your. Whether he likes it or not, his pre-programmed hyper-masculinity will keep him from admitting he wants to cuddle you. So the only thing that says more about his feeling for you than his favorite sex position is how and where he allows you to snuggle and sweat on him following the act. Anybody pining for you that you're not interested in, don't let 'em sleep in your bed.
I'm not saying that this guy is in that situation, but keep it in mind in case you run into any guys like that in the future.
He's not entitled to sex just because you guys are on a bed. Even if you were fooling around, he's not entitled to putting his penis in you until you say it is. You were clear and direct, and he chose to stay. That's how it should be. I have done this, and also had it said to me, "I thought I could do this, but it is too tempting, so I'd rather not in future. Ok, so it was a third party that's criticising you, not the guy who you actually snuggled with?
Well, that's interesting that he thinks that, but the way I see it is that sex and intimacy are a very personal, very individual thing, and it's not about adhering to some abstract societal standard but rather making an agreement with another individual. If it works for you and your snuggle-buddy then that's all that matters.
But for what it's worth, I've known plenty of folks, both male and female, who would love an all-night snuggle session with a friend, and wouldn't think twice about it not going any farther. You did the opposite of leading him on; you told him explicitly, beforehand, that sex was definitely not going to happen. So no matter how smart your friend is in general, he's wrong about that.
Well, everyone is right so far. You don't have any obligation, and you were clear. I'm just gonna be the asshole here and say, if you say no sex, and then invite a guy into your bed, some guys are going to take that as "but I invite you to try to change my mind.
Sounds like that wasn't the case, though, so you should be good. Just be aware that a similar situation in the future with a different person might not go the same way. I don't think what you're doing is "wrong", necessarily, and I think that if you're very honest this is an arrangement that can be OK. That said, yeah, if I had a friend who I was doing datelike activities with, and then they invited me to stay over, and then they invited me into their bed, I would probably assume that we were heading in a romantic direction. I can definitely see this same situation being asked about from the opposite angle "I spend all this time with my friend, it's very intimate, she wants me to sleep at her house and in her bed without sex, does this mean she's into me?
Apologies if you're not female. I definitely think you need to absolutely know what you want and where the lines are to be drawn, and to keep this dude extremely well informed of all that. Because, yeah, you're sending mixed signals at the very least. And, yes, of course nobody is entitled to sex and inviting someone to share your bed isn't implied consent for sex. Just because it has to be said. You haven't led him on regarding sex, but maybe he feels you are more than friends or moving towards that, and it sounds like this is not the case.
If you want to continue to do things like have dinner together and snuggle and do things that romantic partners do, I think you have a responsibility to be really clear that you are not interested in being more than friends. This is precisely what I came here to say. People don't deal well with ambiguity, and what you said to him regarding sex resolved only a tiny part of the overall ambiguity here. IMO people that are just friends for the foreseeable future don't usually snuggle in bed, especially in the context of doing other date-y things.
If this is leading up to something, fine, people have to tolerate ambiguity there; if not, I think you'll need to revert to more obvious "friends" territory. You were clear, but you're not 6, either, on a sleep-over with your bestest pal ever. I think this is moderately childish and not really something a grown woman does. It is a private arrangement between the two of you. If he's fine with it and you are fine with it, it's fine.
If he starts getting cranky or whatever, that's when you renegotiate, as needed.
Forum statistics Total registered users: I think it's less about your assumption that he wants sex vs you wanting to cuddle. You're not weird or cruel. What Guys Said 5. Ask him how he honestly interpreted what you said and what happened, and go from there. It's not leading someone on to say "I don't want to have sex but necking is ok in the bed.
No Are you sending mixed signals? Yes posted by greta simone at 8: Yeah this sums it up. People are being far too reductionist above. Yes, you made it clear there was going to be no sex. No, you would not have been obligated to have sex ever even if you hadn't been clear. Good, that important disclaimer is out of the way. People are not robots. Doing date-like activities and then inviting a person into your bed is sending romantic signals no matter that you've said "no sex tonight!
A person of good intent could quite reasonably interpret the situation as heading in a sexual direction in the mid-term future. And then saying "I'm not ready to sleep with anyone yet " is classic ambiguity. He quite possibly heard "but in the future I may indeed be ready to sleep with you. I have a male friend who I do date type things with, we snuggle on the couch watching a tv series, we go out to parties together, he spends the night in my bed and we just cuddle.
It's hard to cuddle without feelings. We'd like to think that every person who jumps into bed with someone else at least cares about the other person a little bit, but. He probably won't expect you to want to hookup on the first date but definitely the second. It will be clear he's not down to wait very long to get with you. You don't wan to spend your night cuddling and talking until the sun rises so he'll get out.
The idea came from him - he doesn't want a sexual relationship with me, and that's okay, I really value him as a friend, and love the physical contact. But it's not something I tend to tell people about because who's going to believe me? If you are able to be honest and open with your bed buddy, and he's okay with it - I certainly see no problem with it. A lot of us single folk really need skin touch and sometimes the people who are right to give it to us are not right for us to have sex with.
Agreeing with everyone here.