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Love is in the air, never judge a person's capability just by looking at his or her age. You'd be surprised what people my age can do. My current boyfriend makes a lot of money, and I like it because I'm spoiled rotten and he never hesitates to take me out on dates or anything. I could go without all that though and I'm sure it wouldn't be an issue. Yeah, it's not like we're trying to raise a family or it's a permanent job for him.
Slave labor job like? Any fast food restaurants, then no.. Right now I'm not looking at marriage, children or settling down, so yes. But in the future, no. It honestly depends on what phase of life I'm in and how much I care about him. When I get to the stage of my life where I'm having kids and picking out houses, I need my partner to step it up and have a job that can provide him with enough to create a certain lifestyle.
I don't care if he's rich, but realistically, raising children is expensive. I think you get to a certain point where relationships become financial partnerships when you get married or even just move in together. Especially when you move in together! Because that other person's income and what they can pay for bills and groceries lets you know how much money you need to put forward for bills then how much money you have for spending. Yet if I was madly in love with him, I could definitely see myself accepting that part of him and struggling day to day.
It's not exactly ideal but I wouldn't rule him out just because he's broke. There are plenty of jobs out there that don't pay much but are very rewarding. It really depends on the reason he's in that situation. If he's doing nonprofit work or social improvement work or he is truly working to get himself out of a bad situation, I would definitely date him.
Besides, I'm overly cautious about that sort of thing and I try to make sure that my guys are decent and respectful. I usually try to know them for a while before I even consider dating them. If he's on my radar, chances are he's a good guy and that means more to me than how much money he makes. If he just graduated from college it's only normal if he doesn't make a six figure salary. If that is the case however he should have the ambition to change that. So generaly I would not date a guy who had a "slave-labor job". One major reason for that is that I want to have a couple of kids at some point, so at least for I while I won't get my full salary and thus we would greatly depend on his.
I'm sure that women who don't want a family won't mind though, as long as they don't have to support him. YES as long as he has bigger dreams and goals to achieve , but if he's going no where then no. Probably because a lot of girls are money hungry and even though a lot of times someone with a lower income works a lot harder for what they make than some people who have a higher income its not good enough for some reason because people focus way too much on money. LOL that's all I ever seem to want to date, so yes. Yes I would, whether he was intelectually compatible with me Surely, man can also find a bunch of college people who are also everything else as intellectuals I do not have problems with my income, so there probably won't appear big financial problems, when living rationally - consequently, for me; money is not a problem, it is the way of thinking.
They will probley date you for a while but in time they will dump the guy, no women wants a man who does a labor job, that's just life lol. I was gonna ask this question, you should waited till midday in eastern time to ask this. Aww Dre I'm sure you won't have any problems catchin ladies. You'll prob even catch you a sugar momma later on today! It is like sayhing I am not a gold digger but I don't want to be called one lol. That are the answers I am seeing lol.
Forget the women stack paper lol. Some people don't realize that a lot of low wage workers did or graduated from college New stats show that women are outearning guys perhaps due to the heathcare field is in demand and nurses get PAID lol. If I was at some slave labor job, I would not want to mix a relationship with it. I would probably takeout the frustrations of the job in the relationship lol. This is like asking guys if they want to get kicked in the balls. You already know the answer to this. I get it, but it made way more sense when we were both poor students with about the same amount of income.
I think part of the reluctance on the joint bank account stems from the extreme uncertainty in our life right now due to my lack of a job. The economy put plans in a tailspin. But getting to that point is turning out to take much longer and be more frustrating than expected. Naturally it makes sense for expenses to be slightly uneven right now. Perhaps a compromise or, maybe a more scary option?
This comment actually changes my perspective on your situation. If a year from now, when he has a well-paying job, things are still the same, then I think you should seriously consider the future of your relationship. I would never presume to say he is not a good person or a worthwhile investment of your time.
In fact, we both make jokes about it all the time. Imo, a stable financial footing by no means measures up to the experience of love, especially one that's life lasting which yes, with the current divorce rate even that too is rare apparently: My dad spent part of my childhood as a janitor. Getting married which we discussed would only have ended in a divorce. In all other aspects, our relationship is perfectly fine—we have similar interests, enjoying spending time together, basically never fight, etc.
And this kind of behavior does not change unless the person becomes independently motivated to change it, and receives help to do so. If I believe it, it will happen. I am just going to share some titles with you anyway, so you know there are resources out there if you decide you want them. Yes, these are cheesy self-help books a la Bridget Jones, but they have good info. The Emotionally Unavailable Man: This is the Bible for women involved in relationships that are unsatisfying, that never seem to go anywhere, that are stuck in first gear after years and years together.
Smart Women, Foolish Choices: Here it is, and read the reviews, they speak the truth! I hope that this is not taken as a critique of your life style, but I think what you really need to have a discussion on is what kind of relationship you two want to have. Is it a casual relationship with the convenience of sharing a residence i.
It sounds to me like he may be considering you two the former, while you may be expecting the support and partnership that one would have with the latter. You need to get away from him. If you are spending time dividing up receipts, what will child raising be like? When we were students and therefore on basically the same income , I always made my boyfriend now husband pay for the birth control. Luckily my husband is a very generous man: I agree with the posters above that this stinginess is also a sign of emotional stinginess. I would really talk to him about it and see how he reacts.
When I moved in with my husband, he worked for a private company in a highly technical field and I was a new govt lawyer with student loans. Ten years later, we are married and have a son. I make more money because he left the company and works from home so he does not have to travel. All of our money goes into one account for bills and he has his own account for spending money.
He takes care of most of the child care issues and more than half of the household cleaning and chores. He is a keeper! By the way, he never finished college but he is self-taught and smart. The only issue that we ever have is that I am more well-rounded in terms of my education so I get frustrated when I make a literary reference that he does not get because he simply is not as well-read. Certainly not a deal breaker! Also, he sometimes seems annoyed at my student loans, but seems to have gotten over that one by now. Sometimes I pick up the tab for coffee, sometimes they do.
You date a man to spend time with him and get to know him, not judge how much he If a girl won't date you because your on a low income then you should. Should they be dating a man if he isn't financially successful? gold digger or discriminate against men with lower incomes on the contrary.
How do you make spending decisions for items you split the cost? I usually make decisions for big items. No cars or mortgages or new appliances or anything like that. Hang in there, though — and once you both have real jobs, try to get over the college mentality ASAP. I have never lived with a boyfriend, but all of my ex boyfriends have eaten twice if not three times as much as I do. That would be very irritating.
All of our bills get paid from that account and then there is no bickering about him going out for happy hour or me buying shoes. Even though I make more, we contribute the same amount. I even things out by paying for our health insurance. I tend to agree with the commenters saying that this is a huge warning sign and you should re-evaluate the relationship, but if you want to test the relationship without the financial issues, I think you need to see what happens when you give yourself some space to make decisions.
It sounds like he is being very controlling, on top of being emotionally unavailable. Probably splitting hairs, but joint accounts can lead to a whole range of problems.
It is very unlikely that he will change and maybe you should consider if this is something you can live with for the next 50 years. I would think of vacations and paying for children, etc. Is he going to want to split the costs of a child as if you were divorced and it was child support? Yes, I would too. The granola bars conversation makes my jaw drop. There are no words for such selfishness. He sounds very avoidant.