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These feelings may lead to resentment and frustration.
Shift work may not be the ideal way of working or living, but it may be necessary to make ends meet or to keep employment. However, even with all of the negative things stated, there is hope. If you and your partner work different shifts, there are ways to ensure you still maintain a happy and healthy relationship. Consider the following tips:. This simple gesture will keep communication open throughout the day. If possible, try to keep the conversations light.
Avoid talking about things that require more time than you have or that could create negative feelings. Remember, quality is better than quantity. You and your partner may not have tons of time to spend together, but you can make the most of the time you have. Set a date or plan a fun activity during your next available time together and make the most out of whatever you do.
Leave little reminders of your love. Little reminders can come in the form of a note or a simple gift. Leave your partner items in surprising places such as the car, the bathroom, or even the fridge. This will let your partner know that you are thinking of them and leave them thinking of you as well.
This will show that you are considerate of his or her feelings and willing to pitch in to help in any way you can. Set aside a specific time to address these issues so the remaining time can be enjoyed to the fullest. Take the time to know how your partner is really feeling.
As mentioned earlier, each spouse can experience various emotions as a result of their roles. Talk about these feelings and discuss what can be done to help both partners fell more comfortable. I miss our days of getting along and having a life together.
I hate eating every meal apart and not having that quality time anymore!! Can I ask how different the schedules are? I struggled with Fiance about this our first year living together.
Games days are much later. I was not having keeping up all of the house chores, making dinners, and frankly moving an hour away from everyone I know to live with him and be alone every night.
Also, we make it a point to eat together. Yes, unfortunately that means dinner at like 8: I leave the house at about 6: He leaves for work at 3 and gets home at I wish he got home at 8: While we were not in the same situation, my husband used to travel A LOT for work. Thankfully he was able to tranfer to a different position within the company recently but the travel got rather bad.
Here are some ways we were able to keep the flame alive when we saw each other rarely. This really helped us to see that it was all worth it. It helps get the new dating vibe back when you might be upset with how things are right now.
Have a chore chart or something so he can do his when you are at work and vice versa. That way you can both cuddle on the couch together during those short times when you are together.
Make sure to order my books Mogul: I used to work overnight and I'd only see her just as she came home with my car before I left for work. When he was getting up for work I just wanted a little more sleep — although I did usually get up with him, then take a nap before going into work. Don't lose hope though. How about you guys decide on a schedule for who does what, when, so that there is no misunderstanding about expectations. How long should I have to wait until he gets a normal schedule?
My hubby and I have ours on a white board in the kitchen. We put a check mark beside what we have done so the other knows we have done it. It works for us. We actually talked this morning about the chore chart idea; I think we need to do that asap. The post-its are a great idea, too. Thanks for the feedback! Schedule it when the other is out at work.
Can you not make a commitment to each other to stop the fighting? Do you both work 12 hour shifts or 8- that makes a huge difference. If you work 8 hrs, you each have 8 hours over and above sleeping time in which to do things around the house. It is only a problem if you make it out to be. I work evenings and sundays. Saturday is our only true time together.
If it is getting to you, maybe he can talk to his boss and see if he can maybe get a day schedule. We worked at the same place — different departments, but on different shifts.
I was on 2nd shift 3: I quit my job and found one that was a normal ok, M-F kind of office job. I mean, I found a new job first, then quit. But I decided I loved him more than my job and my job was affecting our relationship.
When he was getting up for work I just wanted a little more sleep — although I did usually get up with him, then take a nap before going into work. I am a grad student, and recently switched research groups and while I am happier at work, I am also working hr days 6 days a week. How about you guys decide on a schedule for who does what, when, so that there is no misunderstanding about expectations.
I love my husband with all of my heart, but I definietly feel the same way you do.