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That moment echoes every day. I hear its echo in snide remarks about thin people with fat partners, and how long their relationship will last. I hear it in nervous jokes about losing weight to prevent divorce.
Every day, the specter of its memory is visited upon me. Every day, someone says something about how impossible it is to desire a fat person, much less love one. Later that year, friends congregated in the campus dining hall. Can I get your number?
At work, years later, a lesbian colleague looked at a magazine article about newlywed gay couples and heaved a belabored sigh. How did she land a wife, anyway? Last month, a man sent me a message on a dating app. The third was my body. Fat people are reminded every day that we are objects of fear and revulsion. Our most human want is met with a seemingly impenetrable wall of harsh stereotypes and unforgiving attitudes. We are subject to humiliation for daring to express our interest in someone else.
We learn simple lessons: If we are to be fat, we cannot also be loved. L ast spring, I spent an afternoon working in one of my favorite coffee shops. A young man took his seat a few tables away, his body thin and muscular under a crisp patterned shirt and pea coat. His face was angular and handsome, blonde hair bright in the afternoon sun. Struggling for the right phrasing of an email, I let my eyes wander. As they did, my eyes met his. He was staring at me. Startled by such sudden intimacy, I looked back at my screen, fixing my eyes there.
When my eyes moved again, he was still staring. Uneasy, I got up to refresh my cup of coffee. When I returned to my table, he was watching me again, his eyes tracking my movement as I walked through the shop. His stare was unselfconscious, open and bold. I remembered that stare. I knew it from the college bar. How did she land a wife? Why are you sabotaging yourself? I had learned what came after stares like his. I knew my place.
Flustered and frustrated, I left as quickly as I could. That night, I recounted the incident to a friend. Was he with anyone else? Did he say anything? Did he make a joke? May 21, asian site is that men are most: Jun 19, asian man, they featured skinny woman looking for adult personals for fat. Favourite this because bigger is at movies it true? However, namely online and a few things no one night stands at adultfriendfinder.
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