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I thought he was going to tell me that he was married! The following weekend, I drove to a restaurant to meet him with a feeling of unease. Luckily I had some knowledge of the law so I knew what he meant and what the implications of this were likely to be. As he was explaining the circumstances, I was surprised to find my heart going out to him and I started to appreciate that a persons lifestyle and background can have a lot to do with why they break the law.
He went to a party one night and ended up drinking a lot of beer with his buddies. Later on some young women showed up and drank beer with the guys.
What about his family, what his friends, his future plans etc. He has shown me nothing but respect. Your future happiness depends on it. Is this really necessary? Dinner dates or movie nights are out of the question. House-hunting always comes with challenges, right? So when Chris came around, he was just another guy at the church.
Everyone was over 21 at this party. Alex ended up having consensual sex with one of the young women. I know this because Alex told me the next day after the party that he had relapsed, but that he had met a woman he really liked, and she seemed to like him back too.
They had hooked up had sex , exchanged numbers, and although Alex was disappointed he had relapsed, he was excited about the new woman he had met. This young woman actually had a long-term boyfriend she had not told Alex about. The boyfriend had caught her cheating with Alex.
The young woman chose to explain her way out of the cheating by saying Alex had raped her at the party. He did not rape her. Alex was one of the kindest, most gentle souls I had ever met, and he was excited about this new lady.
Alex was happy someone had come into his life to make him feel good about himself again. He was even tossing around the word girlfriend …. But it was all a lie. Alex ended up being convicted of rape despite the fact that the sex had been consensual. He had to register as a sex offender, and will continue to have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
He had to live in shitty motels because he was no longer allowed to live with his family, due to the fact that there were young children in the family home his daughter and his nieces. He was not allowed to see his young daughter or his nieces for an entire year.
I was not allowed to go visit Alex in the shitty motels because he was not allowed to be alone with a woman in his motel room. We eventually lost touch because it was just too hard for Alex to continue talking to me or to even text me without fear of violating some very strict probation rule. If you are a woman, would you consider dating Alex after you listened to his story and heard what actually happened to him? Just some things to think about…. But sometimes, the other side of the story does have some validation to it. All I would ask is to just be willing to listen, just listen ….
I met Jacob online. We began messaging and realized that we kinda liked each other. Okay, kinda liked each other a lot!
It is important to know what you can expect if you are dating a sex offender. The attorneys at Wallin & Klarich explain what you need to know. cellotonica.com, “Alice Returns.” Sometimes when you meet people, you have a decision to make. They tell you their story. Do you decide to.
Our communications moved from messaging online to texting and then to talking on the phone. Everything was going great, and we had an amazing connection.
Two weeks into getting to know each other, Jacob sent me an email one night. He texted me before I opened the email that he was terrified for me to read it. As a young and probably slightly dumb 21 year old, Jacob had gotten blackout drunk at a party and attempted to have sex with a woman who was also at the party. But, Jacob tried to have sex with a woman who was not consenting to have sex. A neutral party may be helpful as additional support for you, or you and he both, as you figure out whether you want to choose to move forward with this relationship or not.
I understand that this is not always an easy task, and you may not find out immediately.
Please share your feedback on this question. Should I date a sex offender? Dear Stop It Now! As you move forward it will be helpful to take into account his actions now, whether he is showing any warning signs, and perhaps to look at other factors in his life such as the following: Taking into account that there will be a discrepancy regarding whether or not he sexually abused his nephew has he told the whole truth about the surrounding circumstances of the event?
How did he do in treatment or probation?
What has he done in the years since? Has he made moves to better his life? Has he gotten in trouble? If so, for what?